Any other mum's of dyslexic kids? I need a morale boost.

[pinkmummy]

Update 31.01.07. Her new glasses arrived yesterday. They look like dark sunglasses (a bit like Roy Orbison's.) I'll update later as to how she got on at school today. Fingers crossed.:hug:
Any other mum's of dyslexic kids out there? I'm normally really positive about this, but I'm feeling so emotional about my daughter's problem at the moment.:cry:
She has been wearing amber tinted glasses for the last few years which have really helped, but it was tough at first as she got teased at school.
She's recently been feeling that her lenses weren't working as well so yesterday she had another Intuitive Colorimeter test.
Apparently she has shifted to the next colour on the spectrum and also needs a darker level of tint. The new lenses will be dark green with a hint of turquoise. The optician had to 'dilute' the depth of colour as they were so dark, that when she took them off, on bright sunny days the light could damage her eyes.
We have to wait aprox 5-6 weeks for her new specs to arrive but I'm really worried about the reaction of her peers at school. Choosing new frames was difficult, she wanted something quite trendy, and as the optician said "They are going to stand out, so go for a bold frame to match."
I've also got to speak to the school to see if they can help her with more coping stategies. It's tough because she's a bright girl, and outwardly (apart from her dodgy spelling) she's doing well, but some afternoons she'll come home and get upset because she doesn't understand what she's been taught & what her homework is properly.
Thank God she has a really good group of friends who support & stick up for her (even to supply teachers who don't realise she has dyslexia till they have a go about her spellings.)
I've been really positive with her, and my mum & I gave her a really good day out yesterday after her test. Spoiled rotten.:o But inside I wish I could make school easier for her, stop her feeling like she's always struggling to keep up with others.
Sorry, emotional whine over, but does anyone else feel like this about their kids. :hug:

 

[Cathie!]

We are currently looking into whether my son has dyslexia, in conjuntion with the school. He just cannot read and blend words, nevermind spell, in all other areas of his work he is bright and intelligent....it's like he has the words and letters in his head but can't get them out in the right order...they get jumbled in that space between the brain and the page.

He has done a test at school, which he failed dismally, so our next port of call is the GP tonight to get referred for a hearing test...just to rule out any physical problems and then when that comes back we'll be able to go onto the next steps of identifying what's going on!

I hope all goes well with your daughter, it must be really difficult for her and for you, Stan is only 6 and he already withdraws in class when there is anything to do with reading.

Good luck. :hug:

 

[pinkmummy]

Thanks for your reply Cathie, I hope you can get thinks sorted out for Stan.
It can be difficult to get a diagnosis at 6, we tried with Annabelle (now 12) and it was a inconclusive result. At 9 she was retested as she had a very low reading and spelling age, but verbally was at the top of her class.
Has the school senco tried an overlay test with him? These coloured overlays (or lenses as she now has) can really help.
Without them all the words blur together and dance round the page. (Since she's had her glasses, she's always got her head in a book, it's great.) It's no wonder these poor kids strugle to learn how to read.
Spellings might be hard for him as he gets older. Annabelle learns hers parrot fashion every night. If she's luck enough to get a high mark she will have forgotten how to spell half of them by the next week. In fact if we give her a passage to write down that has a few words repeated, she could in fact spell the same word differently 3 or 4 ways. I tell her that's an amazing talent. :hug:
Good luck with Stan, but do be prepared to fight his corner to get the help he needs.

 

[chantell simone]

hello

i have a friend who thinks that her son who is 6 may be dyslexic, but she is very upset as she says that she is not getting any support from her partner

her son is unhappy because the kids at school tease him

i have told her to speak to his teacher and see what the school can do to help

my heart goes out to you all, i cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling

 

[Cathie!]

Thanks for your support Odette, the school are very good and Stan will be getting extra help with his reading from this week on.

They haven't done an overlay test yet, want to wait on the hearing test outcome before they take it further, which I believe they will.

Chantell, my husband is also in denial.....he says give him another 6 months he'll be fine, he's a slow learner etc etc and some friends I speak to say the same, but I know the child and I know he isn't a slow learner...how come he can learn everything else along with his class mates but not reading.

I would say to your friend to go and discuss it with the teacher, although I have heard that a lot of schools turn a blind eye to it as it will ultimately cost them money and resources in terms of offering different learning techniques solely for one child.

 

[pinkmummy]

I don't think men get that maternal instinct that makes you want to keep the pain & upset away from our children. Men will think, 'Oh, don't worry, it'll toughen them up.' As mums, I think we'd rather feel their pain for them.:hug:

Schools are also very reticent to label a child as dyslexic, and unless you are able to get statemented any extra help comes directly from the schools limited budget. Statemented children get extra money from the education dept for their help.

 

[*JOANNE*]

my 11 year old son was diagnosed at the age of 7 after a while of waiting for appointments as he had to have tests for dyslexia and dyspraxia also they get referred to a child psychologist. i knew he had problems even at 2 as he couldn't talk and had to go to speech therapy.
he started high school in september and has a special laptop type of computer to help him and he was recommended by his primary school teacher not to be taken out of lessons as this really takes away their confidence. but instead have help in the classroom. he used to have special classes at primary school with a special needs teacher.
my boy is a confident bright 11 year old he has a great "mates" network and i have told him that because he is so talented, clever and cool there is that little thing missing that makes him struggle...because he cant be totally perfect it wouldnt be fair on the world.
he had his first school report in december and the scores were marked out of 5 being what the kids should aim for and he got 4's and a few 3's which was far more than i ever expected, he had a fantastic year 6 teacher who spoke to him like an adult.
i used to cry in bed, why cant joe talk then it would be why is jow struggling so much at school etc but he is such a clever lad in other ways...way to mature for his age.
i was lucky in a way i really pushed the schools and my gp and wouldnt take no for an answer...also joes dad and grandad are both dyslexic so it is genetic with joe.
my other 2 boys dont have any probs at all.
when joe would come home with homework and he didnt understand it or didnt even know what he was ment to do i would stop him stressing and make him leave it, then i would write on the homework sheet " joe was unable to do his homework as neither of us understood what he was ment to do" then at least the teachers knew he hadnt hid it from us or couldnt be bothered.

 

[pinkmummy]

because he cant be totally perfect it wouldnt be fair on the world.
I love that, think I'll use that one for Belle.
i used to cry in bed, why cant joe talk then it would be why is jow struggling so much at school etc but he is such a clever lad in other ways...way to mature for his age.
I know exactly what you mean,some of Belle's little funny words made us giggle, even now she has 'salt and viglear' on her chips.
i was lucky in a way i really pushed the schools and my gp and wouldnt take no for an answer...also joes dad and grandad are both dyslexic so it is genetic with joe.
Annabelle's dad & his sister are dyslexic, although I've since remarried and my new hubby doesn't quite understand it all. He now understands that no matter how long she spends on her spellings, she's never going to get them all correct.
when joe would come home with homework and he didnt understand it or didnt even know what he was ment to do i would stop him stressing and make him leave it, then i would write on the homework sheet " joe was unable to do his homework as neither of us understood what he was ment to do" then at least the teachers knew he hadnt hid it from us or couldnt be bothered.

I've had to write this in her homework diary a couple of times, after the frantic calls round all her friends asking for help.
How much help was your GP? Can he arrange more assesments?
Since she's had her diagnosis of scotopic sensitivity syndrome, & we are providing her lenses etc (don't you just love that the NHS wont recognise this as a sight problem and wont fund the lenses:grr: ), nobody seems willing to offer any further help or advice to us.
She's a victim of of her own success and hard work. :irked:
Give Joe a big :hug: from me, hope he continues to do well at school.

 

[*JOANNE*]

the thing with getting a true diagnosis is the gp and the school dont quite know which of them is responsible for a referal, in the end it was the special needs teacher at joes junior school that did it all, after alot of oushing from me and joe's dad.
they are such clever kids and the schools dont realise the sooner the diagnosis the sooner the kids can learn what they have and that they arent stupid.
when we moved the boys new junior school liased with the high school joe was going to , too make them fully aware hense his high school have made a laptop type of computer that is specially designed for dislexc children available to him.
once joe was refered by the s[ecial needs teacher then he had to attend hospital appointments for all his testing as they test all medical psychological and physical. also joe had an assessor go to his school for his proper dyslexic assessment.
sometimes you feel your banging your head against a brick wall...but keep shouting and shouting till your heard and once you are then things can be put into place
we know our kids and even at infant age we know when there is something just not quite right dont we

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

I know not everybody can afford this, but We got the hell in with the bloody state school system denying that there was anything wrong with our daughter. I organized a private assessment for her and within a week it was confirmed that she was dyslexic. I said 'Thank you God' and we moved her to a private school where her needs were still ignored. Bucket loads of trauma and tears years later, she is now settled in a lovely pvt school which although mainstream, caters especially for the children with learning difficulties. Michaela is so happy and progressing beautifully. But we've been to hell and back.

 

[pinkmummy]

Thanks for that Tracey, and your supportive messages.
We've recently moved here, to get the kids in better schools, so we'll keep trying at her school.
I think I haven't been assertive enough so far, and because she's a bright girl that isn't disruptive, she gets overlooked.:irked:
I'm going to try & be more positive now , just a shock yesterday about her new glasses etc, and the optician saying get more help for her.

 

[pinkmummy]

Update, her new glasses arrived yesterday. Sooner than expected but she's pleased. She just wants to get them on and get all the jokes over with (and be able to read the whiteboard at school!)
They are really dark, bless her she looks like she pinched Roy Orbison's glasses. The good thing is that they look more like sunglasses than anything else. She's even been given a card to take to school saying 'these glasses are not cosmetic, they are prescription tinted lenses from Cerium Ltd.'
She's just waiting for some old fart of a teacher to ask her to take off her sunglasses. Looking forward to saying "No, they're not sunglasses." and flashing her card. Homework was a doddle last night with them on though.:green:

 

[Fab Freak]

My ex is severly dyslexic and I know he attended did a course years ago which helped him I will ask him tonight about it and let you know of any contact details.

He was only diagnosed once he joined the RAF at school they just thought he had a low IQ which is the very opposite.

Chin up though i'm sure things will get better especially with you by her side.

 

[HappyHands]

My 12 yr son has just plucked up the courage to tell me that he does not understand the work at school and never has!!! he sat his sats and got 4.4.5. which is about right for hs age, but when he has explained to me how he gets out of doing things at school is has all slotted into place.. unfortunatly this has got so bad at school that he has now been permaently excluded and the school have not picked up on this.. infact he has been to 3 different schools and none of them have picked up on it..

The ed. pyhcologist said to me he would be very surprised if he had got this far and it has not bben picked up.. but i have huge alarm bells going off... he was tested at 9 and the report came back that he was misbehaving too much to get a true result (which is what my son said he does) and retested in june 06 and the report came back as fine, but when i questioned my son about this he said "the test were easy mum,, i had to read (which i can do) and the maths test consisted of matching shape (please how simple is that)"..

ok i have also ranted enough

 

[pinkmummy]

Hi Liz, has your son been tested for dispraxia or adhd?
He sounds an awful lot like my friends son. Jamie is now 12, he was only diagnosed 1 yr ago. He is extremely bright, but often misbehaves. Turns out he is dispraxic, borderline adhd. He's now on Ritalin and has help with the things he struggles with. The fact that the teachers now understand makes life easier for him. It's a 2way thing though, they cut him some slack, but he has to promise not to loose it!
Try speaking to your doc or health visitor about doing the Conners test on him. This will let you know whether he has any markers for these problems.
I hope you can get him sorted out.
As I thought one of Belle's teachers had a go at her today for wearing sunglasses.

 

[HappyHands]

Hi Liz, has your son been tested for dispraxia or adhd?
He sounds an awful lot like my friends son. Jamie is now 12, he was only diagnosed 1 yr ago. He is extremely bright, but often misbehaves. Turns out he is dispraxic, borderline adhd. He's now on Ritalin and has help with the things he struggles with. The fact that the teachers now understand makes life easier for him. It's a 2way thing though, they cut him some slack, but he has to promise not to loose it!
Try speaking to your doc or health visitor about doing the Conners test on him. This will let you know whether he has any markers for these problems.
I hope you can get him sorted out.
As I thought one of Belle's teachers had a go at her today for wearing sunglasses.

My son has it all mate.. his medication is sooo high that they refuse to put it up.. he has been diagnosed with it for 6yrs and for 6yrs we have been fighting to get him some more help of which we always get told.. give it another 6mnth and see how it goes.. we have also had a meeting with the school, gp, pyhcolitrist, and all the education boffs,. The outcome of which was my hubby got reported to social services for vilent behaviour towards our son (my hubby does not even shout at them) at the moment our life sucks real bad and i have had enough with all the medical and education peeps... the learning thing is only just been found out in the last week

 

[NAIL FRENZY]

I just wanted to say that my son is 22 now and during all his years at infant and junior school, he had a really hard time. He just could'nt get to grips with his spelling, reading and writing. He has always been extremely intelligent but had serious problems getting it down on paper.

On several occasions when he was around 6 and 7 yrs old, I would drop him off at school to find him standing outside the house by the time I got home. He got on with the other children (although he was occassionally bullied) but it was the teachers that he had the most problems with. One teacher actually screamed at him that her 3 year old was more intelligent than him!

He had to go to a school psychologist who said that his problem was with people in authority!! The school and the pyscologist told us they did not believe in this condition called dyslexia and totally refused any assessments etc. Anyway, we helped him as much as possible at home and found that teaching him organisational skills really helped as he was so forgetful and had trouble putting things in sequence. He still could'nt do up his buttons or tie his laces. This was many years ago and thankfully dyslexia is far more researched and recognised now. He was finally diagnosed at the age of 18! I'm now proud to say that he is at university studying towards a degree in his second year. He has a transclusent sheet to put over his paperwork and with his laptop and his lectures on the internet, he is doing really, really well.

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

I just wanted to say that my son is 22 now and during all his years at infant and junior school, he had a really hard time. He just could'nt get to grips with his spelling, reading and writing. He has always been extremely intelligent but had serious problems getting it down on paper.

On several occasions when he was around 6 and 7 yrs old, I would drop him off at school to find him standing outside the house by the time I got home. He got on with the other children (although he was occassionally bullied) but it was the teachers that he had the most problems with. One teacher actually screamed at him that her 3 year old was more intelligent than him!

He had to go to a school psychologist who said that his problem was with people in authority!! The school and the pyscologist told us they did not believe in this condition called dyslexia and totally refused any assessments etc. Anyway, we helped him as much as possible at home and found that teaching him organisational skills really helped as he was so forgetful and had trouble putting things in sequence. He still could'nt do up his buttons or tie his laces. This was many years ago and thankfully dyslexia is far more researched and recognised now. He was finally diagnosed at the age of 18! I'm now proud to say that he is at university studying towards a degree in his second year. He has a transclusent sheet to put over his paperwork and with his laptop and his lectures on the internet, he is doing really, really well.

I feel so incredibly sad when I hear stories like this. You did well to teach your son organizational skills because this is a huge factor in dyslexics. And good on you for believing in him when other didn't! It irks me:irked: that these so called 'experts' know sweet nothing half the time.

 

[VHunter]

I've had no experience with dyslexia or other. So I can't really relate or offer advice.

What I can say is that I have 3 friends who have it. 2 female, 1 male.
One of the women is an office administrator & executive assistant.
One is in nursing school.
The male is a nurse as well.

Good, successful and very smart people.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, and no reason on earth why success can't belong to your child as well.
They have to work a bit harder, but I think that means that they end up stronger.
IF that makes sense?

:hug: :hug: :hug: