Big benefits row

[facelashbrow]

Absolutely victoriabar, you're exactly the person they're designed for!!

Should add about my neighbours we know them quite well so know for a favt they're happy as they are, I was sympathetic about him being out of work "you'll find something soon" and he looked at me like I was mad. Theyre there all the bloody time making noise and mess in the gardens, smoking and ordering takeaways, grrrr different rant!!

Xx

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[hazeleyes]

I've been on both sides of the fence, I worked my arse off from school, had my first two kids very young and found myself single with a tot and newborn - he walked out 5days after our son was born. I continued working my arse off until my son was taken into hospital at 5months with severe swollen body.
It was after a rushed trip to great ormond St Hosp that he was diagnosed with a very rare muscle wasting and liver disease 1:200,000 to be precise.
As a single mum my working life was stopped instantly. Living on benefits back then seemed too easy but I think that was more to do with spending more time in Hosp than at home, travel refunded if I did go home and food was often off the ward trolley for me and my eldest.
4yrs on benefits and then off to work full time thanks to meeting a partner who was ready to do the family life and shared care enabling us to be a two job/care for sick child household.
7yrs I again worked my arse off until my son got so ill he was in London hospitals for months at a time and my position couldn't be held open any more, my partner decided he couldn't cope with being only breadwinner and paying for hosp trips so buggered off leaving me with now 3 kids.. Back on benefits..
And there I've been for 11yrs, caring for my son, dealing with fits, blackouts, body shutdown, paralysis, loss of speech, loss of vision, hypos etc.
he has been tube fed since he was 5months old, now only when he is not feeling right.
He spent more time in hospital than in school and at least twice a week I'd get a call to collect him from school as he'd collapsed n he'd need his wheelchair for a few days again..
I couldn't work as his condition was unpredictable, he didn't know when he'd go,
So I started voluntary work around him, places where I wasn't tied to a contract or could be away due to his condition or appts in the 4 diff hospitals around southampton and London..
I've constantly heard how I've got it easy but folk only see what they want to.
Used to get so much grief for parking in disabled bays despite having a badge for him *shrugs*
So here we are now, he is coping with his condition and doing well.
I have 2 children with special needs now, I am trying to better myself and the life of my kids at home by using my skills learnt and getting myself off main benefits and making our lil unit more socially acceptable.
Life on benefits has been bloody hard these last 5yrs esp. I'm still looking after my son during bad times, my daughters dairy free/soya free diet due to severe allergies is very expensive, hospital appts for two kids under 7 diff clinics, been hugely stung/shafted by the bedroom tax, can't afford to fix my old car so mobile work is via bus, desperately want to do more courses to be able to offer more to clients but funds are empty, don't use heating unless it snows due to costs, got in trouble for working voluntary and accepting travel expenses, etc etc.
So many more things I could add but wanted to give the general gist of how its been.
I am embarrassed to say I'm on benefits BUT the difference is I am TRYING to get off them and one day I will.
when I've worked I put my all into it and lived a better, warmer life.

I know I've waffled and probably said more than was needed and will most poss delete this later


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What a story! You should not be embarrassed at all! No one can judge or blame you for claiming benefits. Not only that you haven't given up but you are still pushing on to get back to work.

For me, It's not about the actual being on benefits but the reasons why one is claiming them which are important. The benefits system was set up to help people like yourself, your a prime example of someone using the benefits system correctly and as it is intended! It's a shame that so many continue to abuse it!

 

[Mobile Manicure]

What a story! You should not be embarrassed at all! No one can judge or blame you for claiming benefits. Not only that you haven't given up but you are still pushing on to get back to work.

For me, It's not about the actual being on benefits but the reasons why one is claiming them which are important. The benefits system was set up to help people like yourself, your a prime example of someone using the benefits system correctly and as it is intended! It's a shame that so many continue to abuse it!

Agreed!

 

[sarahpoppy24]

I've been on both sides of the fence, I worked my arse off from school, had my first two kids very young and found myself single with a tot and newborn - he walked out 5days after our son was born. I continued working my arse off until my son was taken into hospital at 5months with severe swollen body.
It was after a rushed trip to great ormond St Hosp that he was diagnosed with a very rare muscle wasting and liver disease 1:200,000 to be precise.
As a single mum my working life was stopped instantly. Living on benefits back then seemed too easy but I think that was more to do with spending more time in Hosp than at home, travel refunded if I did go home and food was often off the ward trolley for me and my eldest.
4yrs on benefits and then off to work full time thanks to meeting a partner who was ready to do the family life and shared care enabling us to be a two job/care for sick child household.
7yrs I again worked my arse off until my son got so ill he was in London hospitals for months at a time and my position couldn't be held open any more, my partner decided he couldn't cope with being only breadwinner and paying for hosp trips so buggered off leaving me with now 3 kids.. Back on benefits..
And there I've been for 11yrs, caring for my son, dealing with fits, blackouts, body shutdown, paralysis, loss of speech, loss of vision, hypos etc.
he has been tube fed since he was 5months old, now only when he is not feeling right.
He spent more time in hospital than in school and at least twice a week I'd get a call to collect him from school as he'd collapsed n he'd need his wheelchair for a few days again..
I couldn't work as his condition was unpredictable, he didn't know when he'd go,
So I started voluntary work around him, places where I wasn't tied to a contract or could be away due to his condition or appts in the 4 diff hospitals around southampton and London..
I've constantly heard how I've got it easy but folk only see what they want to.
Used to get so much grief for parking in disabled bays despite having a badge for him *shrugs*
So here we are now, he is coping with his condition and doing well.
I have 2 children with special needs now, I am trying to better myself and the life of my kids at home by using my skills learnt and getting myself off main benefits and making our lil unit more socially acceptable.
Life on benefits has been bloody hard these last 5yrs esp. I'm still looking after my son during bad times, my daughters dairy free/soya free diet due to severe allergies is very expensive, hospital appts for two kids under 7 diff clinics, been hugely stung/shafted by the bedroom tax, can't afford to fix my old car so mobile work is via bus, desperately want to do more courses to be able to offer more to clients but funds are empty, don't use heating unless it snows due to costs, got in trouble for working voluntary and accepting travel expenses, etc etc.
So many more things I could add but wanted to give the general gist of how its been.
I am embarrassed to say I'm on benefits BUT the difference is I am TRYING to get off them and one day I will.
when I've worked I put my all into it and lived a better, warmer life.

I know I've waffled and probably said more than was needed and will most poss delete this later


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Hi there! I have heard same story over again where I live, in fact I know a lady in a near identical situation. She gets so much abuse from people because she is home with three kids, one disabled as her husband ran off left her and he doesn't pay a penny! Now I know there is the Csa etc but the pittance the lady gets doesn't cover much and the man can live his life as a single man with an ex, goes pub, can start a new life and if he works he keeps most of his money! Now this is not something I claim to have a solution for because if there was a solution someone would of found it. What I don't like is the fact that I know lots of single mums who are tarred with the whole "single mum on benefits" title people like to shout off about, and then you get these men who make a family with a woman and no one says anything to him! However I also know a few single dads and they are great too buuuuttt I've never heard any one say anything nasty about a single dad but single mums get a lot of stick, regardless of the situation they are in people love to hate on them all the time. Again this is just a reflection of what I hear time and time over where I live. Unfair! Xxxxxxxx

 

[princessamie]

A good few years ago, when I was a kid, we had neighbours who lived on benefits. They were a married couple, neither worked. They had a big house and claimed every benefit they good. Neither had any intention of working yet both were more than capable. When our families first met, they had 3 kids. Now they have 9. Still, neither of them work to pay for the 6 bedroom house they're now living in, neither of them work to put food in their children's mouths, they rely on the government to do that for them. Both are able bodied, can interact with people, have no illnesses or disabilities but are too bone idle to go and earn money. They are scroungers, and I'm not shy about saying it. Knowing for a fact that there are people like this out there makes me angry and gives me my opinion of benefit scroungers, NOT tabloid newspapers!

My parents worked bloody hard when I was a kid so that there was a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. There are four of us kids and none of us went without but, life was a struggle for them. Now, when I think back, it would've been so easy for them to swap to the life that our neighbours were living. But they didn't.

For people who need it, for whatever reason whether it be disability, age, to get back on their feet, they should be given what they need. Whether that be their rent paid for, money to live on, whatever. If its needed, it should be available. Its a safety net, not a hammock and those using it as such are causing issues for people in genuine need.

ETA: victoriabar, there is absolutely no need for you to feel embarrassed or ashamed of claiming benefits. You are in genuine need of the help and you are exactly the sort of person who should be claiming. You seem like you're doing an amazing job with your kids and you should be proud of it!

 

[facelashbrow]

I agree, when they had to re evaluate my mums disability she was terrified.
Shes had rheumatoid arthritis for 20+ years, epilepsy plus mental illness. Whats to re evaluate? She isnt getting better.

Something just isnt right there.
If they can be so tough on evaluating her why are there still benefit cheats?
And on a different angle, just because I was brought up like this didnt mean I thought id have an easy, similar life on benefits. I went out there and got a job at 15 and have had one since.
I dont believe theres "no jobs" just jobs people necessarily dont want.
You have to work from the bottom and I think people now a days want/expect to go straight into a well paid job and it just doeant work like that.

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The bit about why are there benefits cheats....because if you really want to make out you're ill, they cant say you're lying. Ive wanted to report a family member but for the sake of her children and us who'd have to pick up the pieces and pay for her I haven't, I wish I would. She got investigated and had her medical. They said she had to come off the benefits and work. She went to her dr who she goes to weekly about various ailments who countersigned, she went to court and lied through her teeth and claim was reinstated.



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[Panoramic]

Katie hopkins was right. People on handouts should work for them. End of

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[hazeleyes]

Katie hopkins was right. People on handouts should work for them. End of

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Yes, but Katie Hopkins is a class A tw*t in my opinion!
Yes a lot of people on handouts should work for it but Not everyone can work due to family circumstances as demonstrated earlier in the thread?!

 

[Missy106]

Katie hopkins was right. People on handouts should work for them. End of

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I do think vouchers for food etc should be given instead of money for alcohol and fags. I receive food and vitamin vouchers now as i have young children and im pregnant. Its only 6.20 a week but it helps.

 

[hazeleyes]

I do think vouchers for food etc should be given instead of money for alcohol and fags. I receive food and vitamin vouchers now as i have young children and im pregnant. Its only 6.20 a week but it helps.

Agreed!

 

[virtues2011]

I've been on both sides of the fence, I worked my arse off from school, had my first two kids very young and found myself single with a tot and newborn - he walked out 5days after our son was born. I continued working my arse off until my son was taken into hospital at 5months with severe swollen body.
It was after a rushed trip to great ormond St Hosp that he was diagnosed with a very rare muscle wasting and liver disease 1:200,000 to be precise.
As a single mum my working life was stopped instantly. Living on benefits back then seemed too easy but I think that was more to do with spending more time in Hosp than at home, travel refunded if I did go home and food was often off the ward trolley for me and my eldest.
4yrs on benefits and then off to work full time thanks to meeting a partner who was ready to do the family life and shared care enabling us to be a two job/care for sick child household.
7yrs I again worked my arse off until my son got so ill he was in London hospitals for months at a time and my position couldn't be held open any more, my partner decided he couldn't cope with being only breadwinner and paying for hosp trips so buggered off leaving me with now 3 kids.. Back on benefits..
And there I've been for 11yrs, caring for my son, dealing with fits, blackouts, body shutdown, paralysis, loss of speech, loss of vision, hypos etc.
he has been tube fed since he was 5months old, now only when he is not feeling right.
He spent more time in hospital than in school and at least twice a week I'd get a call to collect him from school as he'd collapsed n he'd need his wheelchair for a few days again..
I couldn't work as his condition was unpredictable, he didn't know when he'd go,
So I started voluntary work around him, places where I wasn't tied to a contract or could be away due to his condition or appts in the 4 diff hospitals around southampton and London..
I've constantly heard how I've got it easy but folk only see what they want to.
Used to get so much grief for parking in disabled bays despite having a badge for him *shrugs*
So here we are now, he is coping with his condition and doing well.
I have 2 children with special needs now, I am trying to better myself and the life of my kids at home by using my skills learnt and getting myself off main benefits and making our lil unit more socially acceptable.
Life on benefits has been bloody hard these last 5yrs esp. I'm still looking after my son during bad times, my daughters dairy free/soya free diet due to severe allergies is very expensive, hospital appts for two kids under 7 diff clinics, been hugely stung/shafted by the bedroom tax, can't afford to fix my old car so mobile work is via bus, desperately want to do more courses to be able to offer more to clients but funds are empty, don't use heating unless it snows due to costs, got in trouble for working voluntary and accepting travel expenses, etc etc.
So many more things I could add but wanted to give the general gist of how its been.
I am embarrassed to say I'm on benefits BUT the difference is I am TRYING to get off them and one day I will.
when I've worked I put my all into it and lived a better, warmer life.

I know I've waffled and probably said more than was needed and will most poss delete this later


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Awww vix that sounds bloody hard. I don't think any people that have any compassion would have any problems with your situation and the benefit system, you will always get the odd one or two whatever the circumstances, as you know. For me my grievance is purely about the ones who graciously accept something (usually more than enough!) for nothing. X

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[tonicj]

I've been on both sides of the fence, I worked my arse off from school, had my first two kids very young and found myself single with a tot and newborn - he walked out 5days after our son was born. I continued working my arse off until my son was taken into hospital at 5months with severe swollen body.
It was after a rushed trip to great ormond St Hosp that he was diagnosed with a very rare muscle wasting and liver disease 1:200,000 to be precise.
As a single mum my working life was stopped instantly. Living on benefits back then seemed too easy but I think that was more to do with spending more time in Hosp than at home, travel refunded if I did go home and food was often off the ward trolley for me and my eldest.
4yrs on benefits and then off to work full time thanks to meeting a partner who was ready to do the family life and shared care enabling us to be a two job/care for sick child household.
7yrs I again worked my arse off until my son got so ill he was in London hospitals for months at a time and my position couldn't be held open any more, my partner decided he couldn't cope with being only breadwinner and paying for hosp trips so buggered off leaving me with now 3 kids.. Back on benefits..
And there I've been for 11yrs, caring for my son, dealing with fits, blackouts, body shutdown, paralysis, loss of speech, loss of vision, hypos etc.
he has been tube fed since he was 5months old, now only when he is not feeling right.
He spent more time in hospital than in school and at least twice a week I'd get a call to collect him from school as he'd collapsed n he'd need his wheelchair for a few days again..
I couldn't work as his condition was unpredictable, he didn't know when he'd go,
So I started voluntary work around him, places where I wasn't tied to a contract or could be away due to his condition or appts in the 4 diff hospitals around southampton and London..
I've constantly heard how I've got it easy but folk only see what they want to.
Used to get so much grief for parking in disabled bays despite having a badge for him *shrugs*
So here we are now, he is coping with his condition and doing well.
I have 2 children with special needs now, I am trying to better myself and the life of my kids at home by using my skills learnt and getting myself off main benefits and making our lil unit more socially acceptable.
Life on benefits has been bloody hard these last 5yrs esp. I'm still looking after my son during bad times, my daughters dairy free/soya free diet due to severe allergies is very expensive, hospital appts for two kids under 7 diff clinics, been hugely stung/shafted by the bedroom tax, can't afford to fix my old car so mobile work is via bus, desperately want to do more courses to be able to offer more to clients but funds are empty, don't use heating unless it snows due to costs, got in trouble for working voluntary and accepting travel expenses, etc etc.
So many more things I could add but wanted to give the general gist of how its been.
I am embarrassed to say I'm on benefits BUT the difference is I am TRYING to get off them and one day I will.
when I've worked I put my all into it and lived a better, warmer life.

I know I've waffled and probably said more than was needed and will most poss delete this later


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:hug:

 

[virtues2011]

Yes, but Katie Hopkins is a class A tw*t in my opinion!
Yes a lot of people on handouts should work for it but Not everyone can work due to family circumstances as demonstrated earlier in the thread?!

H..I could just imagine you getting out of your chair at that comment. .ha ha. As for Katy Hopkins. .I don't always disagree with SOME of her comments on certain subjects. It's just the way she puts them across that for me is the more of the problem. She can hold a decent debate occasionally (more so in the beginning of her career) but she doesn't grasp that not everything is black and white, sometimes things can be multicolored and she never sees herself as being wrong. No one is right all of the time.

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[hazeleyes]

H..I could just imagine you getting out of your chair at that comment. .ha ha. As for Katy Hopkins. .I don't always disagree with SOME of her comments on certain subjects. It's just the way she puts them across that for me is the more of the problem. She can hold a decent debate occasionally (more so in the beginning of her career) but she doesn't grasp that not everything is black and white, sometimes things can be multicolored and she never sees herself as being wrong. No one is right all of the time.

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The debate about not letting her children play with other children who are named after a country then revealing that her own child is called India!!

Why is she given any airtime at all?!!
Bloody idiot!

 

[virtues2011]

The debate about not letting her children play with other children who are named after a country then revealing that her own child is called India!!

Why is she given any airtime at all?!!
Bloody idiot!

Ha ha ha......that made me laugh, I must admit I don't really keep up with all her opinions. - although I can imagine this one riled most of the people watching....x

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[facelashbrow]

For one and two bed places, I agree, but when you start getting into four or five bedrooms (which the housing associations won't touch) they are far more generous, as not many rentals are that size, and most owners of large properties won't allow housing benefit claimants. Bromley will pay £400 per week for a four bed property, or £1733 a month. On the open market I'd get £1300 a month for the same property.

Wow! That's crazy!

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[Tjo]

maybe we need to be looking at the cost of living, both me and my partner work full time, i have a child in after school club and we have to claim benefits just to get by, wages don't match the cost of living and more and more people are going to need to claim

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[BonBon]

I think some of the people who just don't want to work know how to work the system to the last penny.

Several years ago I lost my well paid job due to a back injury. I got 3 months wages. My rehab which again I was left to get on with took a year. In this time I got no help whatsoever apart from £64 a week.
Because I was single and lived on my own I was told to move out of my home to something smaller.
I ran up 10k on my credit cards paying my bills and trying to survive, I'm still paying them off now.
I got myself fit and well and straight back into work. It's annoying that I had worked all my life, paid into the system and at my only time of need, went hungry and struggled and got little help, yet others like has already been mentioned can afford to smoke, hang in pubs all day and add to their extensive tattoo collections.
To add insult to injury when I went back to work was told I was eligible for working tax credit only to be told the following year I shouldn't have had it and had to pay the 2.5k back.
There are people who like some people on here desperately need the help and do amazingly well keeping their spirits up. It's the lazy bums that make their career signing on, that know every trick in the book that make my blood boil.

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[Victoriabar]

Oohh errr I was expecting to come back to a huge backlash.. (Purposely avoided thread after posting until now lol)
Thank you ladies for your words and PMs of support, it means a lot <3

Anyway enough about me and back on the topic, I know there is a new system coming its called Universal Credit.
Everything a family is entitled to under current laws and workings out is paid in one lump sum.
This includes council tax, rent, bedroom tax, child benefit, tax credits and everything else that is being claimed BUT there is an upper limit amount per week, no one will receive any more than this amount and from this amount the families have to pay out all the stuff usually paid out for them via services.
Ie, usually rent/ctax is paid for them direct, with UC the family have to budget everything and ensure rent/ctax etc is paid... Now my idea on that is BAD, the families that can't/don't budget or go spend crazy will of course not pay their rent etc and end up losing homes thus causing government more money as they are put up in hostels/bedsits which cost more than the rent they were spending. Kids will suffer!
I just don't understand the whole 'let's give you everything and let you do it yourself'
I think for folk needing to be on benefits the direct rent/ctax payments are correct but also food vouchers for a range of supermarkets should be sent instead of easy money ensuring kids are fed, gas/elec/water vouchers etc.. Basicly a set of vouchers worked out dependant on the size of home and occupancy to ensure folk have the basics . I know that doesn't help with bus/car or folk who smoke/drink but just thinking off top of my head.

I've family who are happy to sit on their arse claiming and make lies up about being unable to work, they've swung it so they also have two lots of disability and two lots of carers benefits coming in, this also means extras on normal benefits too, they brag about knowing how to play the system.... If their benefits were capped and turned into a vouchers system I know they'd both be out looking for work, their kids are secondary school age!
They have managed to even avoid the 'back to work' interviews that anyone claiming has to have.
They just can't understand why I put myself through the years of college, more courses etc and pushing the back to work interviews and meetings.. I just can't understand why they want to do nothing, even with all the money they have coming in!!

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[Annabel12]

Someone asked what it's like in other countries - I couln't see anywhere in Europe that drug addicts or alcoholics would be concidered sick and getting any benefits. Jobseekers allowances are much lower then wages so everybody prefer to work. Cultural bit - being on benefits is something to be ashamed of and very last sort solution. And lastly - I thing this makes a big difference - cost of childcare is much lower. Now I live in Scandinavia, my mate pays for a nursery only £120/month and wages are much better then in UK. I know single mums of 2 working full time, this is a norm here. Jobseekers allowance is available if you worked at least 6 months but again you're much better off working. And refugees have to learn language and take a part in programmes that lead to work - actually it's mostly them living on the money from the state, the norm is that people work.

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