Hi everyone sorry if this is so long winded I just wanted to let it out to people I don't know, rather than my friends who might be worried about saying the wrong thing etc.
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months.
A few weeks ago a group chat popped up on his phone 'Australia 2016' I didn't question it there and then because I assumed he would tell about it but he didn't. I left it for about week still wondering when he was going to mention it but he never did so I did the psycho thing and went through his phone lol. I had a little nosey through the group chat, just him and his work colleague, discussing plans and how long to go for (possibly a year), how much money to take, when to go (August 2016). I was literally devastated reading it, I had heard him say he wanted to see Australia but has never said anything else since then.
I was feeling so hurt that he didn't want to tell me for whatever reason, feeling upset at the thought of having to potentially say bye and not see him for a year, I'm also terribly jealous that he doesn't want to go with me, I feel like a selfish person. I should be happy for him but I can't help feeling sad about it.
So I couldn't hold it in I phoned later on that day and confronted him, cried it all out. He said he didn't tell me straightaway because he doesn't have to money right now, doesn't have a visa, doesn't know how long. I felt like it would still be nice to know. He said I should stop being silly it's almost a year away. So I tried to let it go for while.
Month later this weekend I started talking about taking holiday in October, (centre parcs weekend or something) and possibly the idea of an anniversary holiday in January (another weekend away maybe Paris) he cut me off straightaway saying he wouldn't be able to afford any of this because of Australia. I said is this what it's going to be like for next year, not wanting to do stuff with me, I don't want to be a couple that never does nice things together. Again he says don't be silly you are getting yourself worked up over nothing.
After this conversation I found myself feeling really bitter and angry, because of his planned trip to Australia it's making things really strained. I feel reluctant to mention going anywhere, I was talking about centre parcs earlier he was just deep in his phone, not even listening, not one bit interested. I can't remember the last time he came up with an idea of something for us to do. Even if he doesn't want to do these things he never adds any input of his own. I feel like he isn't interested in me since he was asked to go on this trip.
If he's going to go to Australia that's fine I will be deeply sad I'm not going to stop him. But I'm trying so hard to arrange nice things for us, this is what I work for, for us to have memories together. I'm wondering what's the point of the next year if it's going to be like this. I'm unhappy that he didn't want to travel with me, I would of been over the moon if he had asked me. I also feel like an awful self centered person because I'm not happy for him. I feel cut out and a constant second thought.
Has anyone else been in this situation that can help me. I'm feeling so lost. Thank you for reading I know it's a long post.
Xxx
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months.
A few weeks ago a group chat popped up on his phone 'Australia 2016' I didn't question it there and then because I assumed he would tell about it but he didn't. I left it for about week still wondering when he was going to mention it but he never did so I did the psycho thing and went through his phone lol. I had a little nosey through the group chat, just him and his work colleague, discussing plans and how long to go for (possibly a year), how much money to take, when to go (August 2016). I was literally devastated reading it, I had heard him say he wanted to see Australia but has never said anything else since then.
I was feeling so hurt that he didn't want to tell me for whatever reason, feeling upset at the thought of having to potentially say bye and not see him for a year, I'm also terribly jealous that he doesn't want to go with me, I feel like a selfish person. I should be happy for him but I can't help feeling sad about it.
So I couldn't hold it in I phoned later on that day and confronted him, cried it all out. He said he didn't tell me straightaway because he doesn't have to money right now, doesn't have a visa, doesn't know how long. I felt like it would still be nice to know. He said I should stop being silly it's almost a year away. So I tried to let it go for while.
Month later this weekend I started talking about taking holiday in October, (centre parcs weekend or something) and possibly the idea of an anniversary holiday in January (another weekend away maybe Paris) he cut me off straightaway saying he wouldn't be able to afford any of this because of Australia. I said is this what it's going to be like for next year, not wanting to do stuff with me, I don't want to be a couple that never does nice things together. Again he says don't be silly you are getting yourself worked up over nothing.
After this conversation I found myself feeling really bitter and angry, because of his planned trip to Australia it's making things really strained. I feel reluctant to mention going anywhere, I was talking about centre parcs earlier he was just deep in his phone, not even listening, not one bit interested. I can't remember the last time he came up with an idea of something for us to do. Even if he doesn't want to do these things he never adds any input of his own. I feel like he isn't interested in me since he was asked to go on this trip.
If he's going to go to Australia that's fine I will be deeply sad I'm not going to stop him. But I'm trying so hard to arrange nice things for us, this is what I work for, for us to have memories together. I'm wondering what's the point of the next year if it's going to be like this. I'm unhappy that he didn't want to travel with me, I would of been over the moon if he had asked me. I also feel like an awful self centered person because I'm not happy for him. I feel cut out and a constant second thought.
Has anyone else been in this situation that can help me. I'm feeling so lost. Thank you for reading I know it's a long post.
Xxx