Cheeky client. Was I fair?

[sueelaine]

I had a client book in for some nail art. However last monday my dad had a stroke and was taken to hospital. I let everyone know who needed to such as my boss, clients and close friends. For some reason emails have not been coming through to my phone so I go on the laptop this morning and have several emails from her, saying I've not been in contact with her and she wants her nails done so urgently. I was furious.
Trying to keep it professional I said something like "once again, for matters that have been out of my control, such as my dad being hospitalised for a stroke, I have had to cancel my upcoming appointments. I suggest you look for services elsewhere. Regards ..."
I still don't think it was harsh.. When I checked my emails this girl was literally on my back and I don't want clients who don't treat me like a real person.
My mum who's a child minder ended up having to take the whole week off... apparently one of the parents said to her boss "Pat better not be taking the week off! Who'll look after my kids?"
Oops, I guess I'll have to have a look at my priorities!
Any of you geeks had situations like this? What did you do?

 

[BeauTea Rooms]

I've discovered what we (Therapists/Hairdressers/Salons Owners) feel is low priority isn't the same as other peoples.

We are in a service industry so people using us don't always want to know what happens in our personal lives, they just want the service they have booked in for.

Hope you're Dad is getting better x

 

[zm85]

I'm so sorry I hope your dad is on the mend. That woman should be ashamed of herself! Unfortunately a few rare breed of clients don't see us as regular human beings sometimes and think that because they pay us they are keeping us and we are owe them something and have to be at their beck and call at every waking moment- simply put, we are not allowed to have lives of our own. I think its shocking how some people have no compassion in situations like this and think that their nails take importance, if it was her dad that had been hospitalised, she would've cancelled the appointment for sure- it works both ways!

 

[Tomme]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, hope he's on the mend and there's no lasting damage.
The client was out of order, you had done the decent thing and informed them. It's all you can do or are you going to poop out the nail therapist in you and send her to them?
Is this person a high spender regularly? If not sack her, you don't need clients who make you feel worse than you already must now. Same with your mum, she should sack the mother who said about a week off, life happens and the consequences are that more than te immediate family get inconvenience, everyone needs backup plans in place for things like this so why didn't she call her mother In law or a neighbour?

And to make you feel less selfish, I took 2 weeks off when my uncle died. The uk law states that I'm allowed one day off to greave as he's not immediate.
Focus on helping your dad get better and helping your mum cope with this, it's more important than someone's fingertips looking pretty xoxo

 

[eternalscot]

Right I'm going to be the baddie here, why do you need to cancel clients cos your dad has had a stroke? I have been doing this job 16 years and don't feel the need for all this last minute cancelations and clients are never happy to be cancelled on or let down. I no time of when my Dad died suddenly, 6 days off after giving birth and c section, no time in pregnancy, never off Ill but i would need to be properly ill not this headache stuff came in with flu, tonsilitis, after various operations, wrote off my car then straight back to work, how was broken into and everything including my car stolen never missed a client, the show goes on.... Other people's lives move on we can not believe we are that important in the scheme of things, I know it sounds harsh its called the work ethic which no one seems to have nowadays! Sorry about your Dad, but surely your Dad wouldn't like your business to suffer because of his illness. I'm going to get it now from all the other geeks! Next post will say poor you take a month of sick and wallow in it, we all have an opinion, I'm not saying others are wrong but it does not one favours wallowing in grief, illness or the likes.

 

[Tomme]

Right I'm going to be the baddie here, why do you need to cancel clients cos your dad has had a stroke? I have been doing this job 16 years and don't feel the need for all this last minute cancelations and clients are never happy to be cancelled on or let down. I no time of when my Dad died suddenly, 6 days off after giving birth and c section, no time in pregnancy, never off Ill but i would need to be properly ill not this headache stuff came in with flu, tonsilitis, after various operations, wrote off my car then straight back to work, how was broken into and everything including my car stolen never missed a client, the show goes on.... Other people's lives move on we can not believe we are that important in the scheme of things, I know it sounds harsh its called the work ethic which no one seems to have nowadays! Sorry about your Dad, but surely your Dad wouldn't like your business to suffer because of his illness. I'm going to get it now from all the other geeks! Next post will say poor you take a month of sick and wallow in it, we all have an opinion, I'm not saying others are wrong but it does not one favours wallowing in grief, illness or the likes.

It's not always the best for someone's mental health to go straight back to work though hun, my aunt done it with my uncles and her parents on all 4 occasions she ended up taking a lot more time off due to a mental breakdown as she hadn't grieved, the latest one has been worse than all the others as both m uncles died within 6 months of each other, one sudden with a silent heart attack, the other slowly starting with shingles so he had to stop work, the he got throat cancer which went on for 2 years, and in the last few weeks he came to live with us as it wasn't fair on my aunt to do it all alone.
He had work ethic, he enjoyed working too, the last straw for him was being told he will never work again. My aunt is now starting her breakdown for them both as she hadn't taken the time to greave for my first uncle.

Also try being the grandchild and nephew that helps out, out of 18 cousins I'm the only one, having to help wash and change grandparents, feed them put them to bed, change my uncle, keep everyone calm and still think how best to help when he wasn't breathing or Sicking up bile and blood. And being there when the 3 of them died. All this from age 13.
I don't usually tell my story, it's my personal thing that I'm proud of doing, but never want anyone to
Praise me over, after living through this and being at the centre of it all, trying to fit in clients at the same time before their deaths, and.between 13 and 16 working as well as school I think I deserved the time off.
Not everyone needs the time they take, but If this girl can help her dads recovery and spend time with him that god forbid more complications arise, then it's the best she can do and is something she should be splayed for as not many people have the strength to cope with it and take care of someone.

Clients come and go then new ones come along, family come, are there for us, then go and no one can replace them. Xoxo

 

[ADiva1]

Right I'm going to be the baddie here, why do you need to cancel clients cos your dad has had a stroke? I have been doing this job 16 years and don't feel the need for all this last minute cancelations and clients are never happy to be cancelled on or let down. I no time of when my Dad died suddenly, 6 days off after giving birth and c section, no time in pregnancy, never off Ill but i would need to be properly ill not this headache stuff came in with flu, tonsilitis, after various operations, wrote off my car then straight back to work, how was broken into and everything including my car stolen never missed a client, the show goes on.... Other people's lives move on we can not believe we are that important in the scheme of things, I know it sounds harsh its called the work ethic which no one seems to have nowadays! Sorry about your Dad, but surely your Dad wouldn't like your business to suffer because of his illness. I'm going to get it now from all the other geeks! Next post will say poor you take a month of sick and wallow in it, we all have an opinion, I'm not saying others are wrong but it does not one favours wallowing in grief, illness or the likes.

I don't think you are being a baddie. However, you have to remember that we are all different about how we handle things emotionally. From all of the clients you have met over the years, this would certainly confirm what are priorities and what are not in people's lives. Some are tough and some are not. Personally, it takes alot for me to break so I don't take alot of time off or haven't been sick at all!

Yes, we are in a service industry, but we are still human beings and should be treated this way. We are not robots who will or should be there 24 hours a day to show how loyal and professional our businesses are.

If we need time out for what we think is important then most of them should respect this. We know that that it does not always work this way in reality. Just be firm and reiterate your reasons for being unable. The majority of times, it shows that it is only selfish personalities who demand appointments anyway!

 

[BeauTea Rooms]

I'm very hard when it comes to sickness/illness and don't take time off lightly I've also worked through personal illness, stresses and post operative situations, returning to work the same day I have my carpel tunnel operation however sometimes something comes up that cannot be avoided or helped...

Two Tuesdays in a row I had to leave the shop and take care of a family/friend crisis, firstly my sister came to the shop saying the Dr thinks she'd had a suspected stoke & asking to be taken the hospital (she'd had a stroke & is now under a hospital in London for treatment, shes 30 years old) the following week my best friend was diagnosed with Skin Cancer & fell apart at the seams (she's now had a whacking great chunk taken from her leg & is waiting for results for further treatment).

Its commendable that you also take sickness/time off so seriously and won't let your customers down however where is your line? My line is when my sister is standing in my shop needing me and my best friends hysterical needing me... I agree no one should wallow but everyone has a line and you're right everyone is entitled to an opinion and good for you not being too shy to share yours

 

[eternalscot]

This being strong mental health stuff, woman went through a lot in the past, men at wars, illness and so and we were not all having breakdowns. Im not disputing these people are unwell but how come everyone these days has depression weather it be post natal or manic or having nervous break downs? Where I stay there is a few bored housewife with post natal depression and while I don't doubt there is some serious cases where without question it exists, there are others who are naval gazing and need to get a grip. Too much self indulgence these days. Keep Calm and Carry ON! Is a good phase. Again sorry but I think Im doing some people on here a favour, they don't have to take time off work for every crisis life brings and the majority of professionals and the top of their field will agree, you have to honour your commitments where it is a all possible.

 

[sueelaine]

Wow I've opened a can of worms.
Normally I would agree with you. I don't have time off just for a headache or a cold, I myself have to be practically bedbound before I say i'm sick. However, I have no siblings and my mum doesn't drive. Therefore there was only me to take her to appointments to see various doctors etc and I can't be driving her to the hospital and doing nails at the same time!
It depends where your line is drawn I suppose.

 

[naturalnails]

We all have different ways of dealing with our own personal situations.

Look at Gary Barlow for example - he had his supporters and his critics for performing after his tragedy.

No one is right or wrong with their choices, but we should be able to accept everyones views without feeling offended or insulted.

 

[kimi1101]

This being strong mental health stuff, woman went through a lot in the past, men at wars, illness and so and we were not all having breakdowns. Im not disputing these people are unwell but how come everyone these days has depression weather it be post natal or manic or having nervous break downs? Where I stay there is a few bored housewife with post natal depression and while I don't doubt there is some serious cases where without question it exists, there are others who are naval gazing and need to get a grip. Too much self indulgence these days. Keep Calm and Carry ON!

I can quite simply say, you have obviously never had anyone close to you suffer any mental health issues.

You wouldn't tell someone who had a broken leg to "get a grip"!

I agree that we all deal with things in different ways and this is the beauty of being self employed - we can choose when we are off and if we are fit to work.

 

[eternalscot]

I can quite simply say, you have obviously never had anyone close to you suffer any mental health issues.

You wouldn't tell someone who had a broken leg to "get a grip"!

I agree that we all deal with things in different ways and this is the beauty of being self employed - we can choose when we are off and if we are fit to work.

Yes my father was sectioned under the mental health Act (at least three times) as was my cousin, still stand by what I said!

 

[Tomme]

Yes my father was sectioned under the mental health Act (at least three times) as was my cousin, still stand by what I said!

But that says to me that someone with dementia is just being a nuisance and silly and should be disciplined or taught to deal with it, they can't actually help it and it's a brain disorder, just as depression and other mental problems. Xoxo

 

[Beautygirl1977]

I hate when my clients come into me if they are ill! I had someone off work with sickness bug but still came to me for a facial and guess what next day I was so ill! I was so angry! I wouldn't do treatments to any sick people now and I wouldn't work when I was ill. Anyway if you feel you needed the time off quite right. I had week off when my uncle died because it just didn't feel right working and people coming to my house. Oh and I changed my clients appts today as I'm still hungover from sat! Shoot me! Lol! Big hug and hope your dad gets well soon. X

 

[AcidPerm]

If you read up on your history (or Chaucer and Shakespeare), you will discover that yes, people did suffer from the same sorts of mental illnesses etc. hundreds of years ago but they weren't necessarily correctly diagnosed or treated properly back then. Think of the hideous Victorian asylums for instance. No-one wants to see them return. Mental Illness is not a twenty first century malaise.

 

[kimi1101]

An interesting book on this subject is called Mad, Bad and Sad - it charts mental health in women from its fist acknowledgement to present day. It's really interesting how the geniuses of their time, now had such a tiny impression of what was really going on. Possibly, or should I say probably, in a few hundred years, people will be saying the same about our treatments and medications! Anyway, I digress.

You don't know what it is like until you have been there yourself, I have met many a person to tell me to "snap out of it", people say "oh just smile, will you?" but it is all relative to the person. Some people can cope with things better than others, like some people bones are stronger, immune systems can fight off more.......we are all unique individuals!

 

[sueelaine]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support! Didn't realise this thread would bring out so many opinions, it has been so interesting to hear everyone's views about it based on personal experience or not

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Sueelaine, i think you were completely fair. You haven't cancelled her because you've got the sniffles or your Dad has something minor.

My Dad had a heart attack last year on a saturday morning and was taken into hospital. I didn't know what to do. My head was such a muddle. My bf walked me to work where i burst into tears and realised that with him was where i needed to be. I phoned my clients and cancelled.

I have no regrets. My clients all switched their appointments and i didn't take any extra appointments the next week as he was in hospital having surgery and i wanted to visit him as much as i could.

Of course our businesses are important and i don't think anyone would disagree, but personally, my family come first.

It's a shame to let people down and i hate doing it, but i know if they phoned me with the same story saying they couldn't make their appointment, i would be ok with that.

I really hope that you are ok and your Dad has a speedy and full recovery xx

 

[KayaPapaya]

In this instance the OP was absolutely right to cancel her appointments and take care of her family. The shock itself would put me in a spin and I'd be unable to give my full undivided attention to my client.

However, in a wider sense, I do somewhat agree with eternalscot and say that the work ethic is on some occasions sadly lacking in a fair few people these days and they will cancel at the drop of a hat (this is not directed at OP - I would have done exactly the same as she did)

I feel my unsympathetic natures comes from years working in an office, where term-time only working, late in mornings, early to leave, time off for child appointments, at doctors,dentists,opticians and not being allowed to take any holiday off during school holidays so that we cover the term time workers makes me a bit bitter!

However, I fully support the OP and her decision to cancel, and her client was out of order demanding her appointment.