Disheartened with this dog eat dog industry

[hazeleyes]

I've been in beauty since 2011 more specifically nails the last year and I'm finding out how dog eat dog this industry is. It's really disheartening because I'm not at all like that and I really struggle when people are!

I've been looking for work for months now as a qualified nail technician to no avail!

I've had interviews for jobs where when I get there they let me interview, make me do their nails and eyelashes then tell me there's only a self employed role!

I've worked for free for three days on a "trial shift" in a day spa only to find out there was no job they were short staffed!

I've met two different salon owners each who promise into rent a space and then never get set up, or sell up or go bankrupt before I get in there!

Then I thought ok I will just rent a space, I looked on salon geek as I thought it would be like minded people. I've seen tables advertised, had other techs approach and offer to share the space with me, get my hopes up, only to decide they don't want to split it in the end and would prefer the table alone.

It seems in this industry people will do anything to get ahead, step on others lie, cheat, copycat, deceive whatever it takes! We were warned at college about this industry and it's pitfalls but I never once realised it was so bad!!!

I feel I'm continually getting my hopes up only to be let down or disappointed! I love doing nails it's practically been the only thing I've ever found which I've enjoyed so much and all I want to do is a good honest job. I'm not interested in stepping on other ppl to get where I want to be but it seems so many others are totally ok with that!

I'm seriously starting to question if this industry is something I can be a part of at all.....

 

[persianista]

As a bystander in this drama, I'd like to offer a different perspective. Rather than someone 'taking' what you felt was rightfully yours, you seem to forget that you were putting barriers down.
When you approach a salon owner, it's never a good idea to list out all the hours/restrictions that you have. Maybe the person you wanted to share with got nervous that she would have to work around you a lot (I don't know, I can only speculate) plus, opportunities have to be grabbed with both hands, not put off till it suits you.

There would have been nothing to stop you taking that nail station yourself, and paying your rent to secure it. Sorry, but there's been no 'dog eat dog'. You are currently not in a position to proceed straightaway, and someone else is.
Don't give up, but try and be realistic about how fast things move in business. A month or so may not seem long to you for people to wait for you, but in a business situation, it leaves the door wide open for other people who are in a position to move quickly.

 

[hazeleyes]

As a bystander in this drama, I'd like to offer a different perspective. Rather than someone 'taking' what you felt was rightfully yours, you seem to forget that you were putting barriers down.
When you approach a salon owner, it's never a good idea to list out all the hours/restrictions that you have. Maybe the person you wanted to share with got nervous that she would have to work around you a lot (I don't know, I can only speculate) plus, opportunities have to be grabbed with both hands, not put off till it suits you.

There would have been nothing to stop you taking that nail station yourself, and paying your rent to secure it. Sorry, but there's been no 'dog eat dog'. You are currently not in a position to proceed straightaway, and someone else is.
Don't give up, but try and be realistic about how fast things move in business. A month or so may not seem long to you for people to wait for you, but in a business situation, it leaves the door wide open for other people who are in a position to move quickly.

My thoughts are on the industry as a whole not just this situation think I'm too nice too soft etc. also you can have your opinion on it- I welcome it but be aware that I have a different take on it, I know what happened how flexible I would of been and only I know how I've been left feeling! :-(

I agree my time restraints of having a notice to work out may of been an issue but I wanted to be open and honest and upfront as opposed to concealing or portraying something false! I can't apologise for that as it's how I am and not something I will change.

In my opinion I won't ever put myself out there for anything unless I can fully commit to it honestly! Fair enough there is nothing stopping me grabbing every opportunity (although I have never said it was "rightfully" anyone's?) but I think that's the point I'm trying to make! I find that concept really hard to so if it will hurt others! I always end up feeling bad or guilty or upset and perhaps that soft attitude is not going to work for me.

This industry is dog eat dog in more ways that one I was warned but u didn't realise it would be so harsh, and I now I guess I am learning the hard way!

 

[persianista]

Honey, whatever industry you're in, you need to toughen up slightly, and learn to step forward and ASK for what you want. The beauty industry is a bit dog-eat-dog right now, but it's not always been this way.
There's a great book you may want to read called Feel the fear and do it anyway, by Susan somebody. It will help you become assertive without having to become aggressive, and learn to say what it is you want, rather than sit quietly letting stuff happen to you.

 

[hazeleyes]

Honey, whatever industry you're in, you need to toughen up slightly, and learn to step forward and ASK for what you want. The beauty industry is a bit dog-eat-dog right now, but it's not always been this way.
There's a great book you may want to read called Feel the fear and do it anyway, by Susan somebody. It will help you become assertive without having to become aggressive, and learn to say what it is you want, rather than sit quietly letting stuff happen to you.

I think you have summed it up- the art of being assertive without being aggressive! A very hard one to master but yeah I'm realising I am going to have to toughen up if I want to make it! I'm so passionate about nails and that's what keeps me here trying to progress!!

but I will have a look on amazon for that book as it sounds right up my street!
I just have to keep faith that the right opportunity for me will come up and when it does I will know how and when to grab it with both hands!!

Xx

 

[squidgernetball]

I have met people in this industry whose only interest is telling me how great they are doing, what they've got, how busy they are. I've also met people who are unmotivated, uninterested and pretty poor therapists. Then there is pretty much everyone else who are trying to make a living and are often very supportive towards other therapists.

Don't tar everyone with the same brush, but also remember this is BUSINESS. I have a salon with bills to pay, rent, wages etc, and I can end up not having enough time to eat, let alone worry about whether I'm being really kind to absolutely everybody. Having said all that, it does sound like you have had a pretty bad time.

Rather than jumping in and working at these places, make sure you ask questions, not only about what you want, but about what they are offering - will it be on a self employed basis/is it a table to rent/is it your table or one to share. Things can change very quickly, so you need to be ready to move, but don't lose hope. If none of these have worked out, it may be because something better is on it's way.

Good luck x

 

[hazeleyes]

I have met people in this industry whose only interest is telling me how great they are doing, what they've got, how busy they are. I've also met people who are unmotivated, uninterested and pretty poor therapists. Then there is pretty much everyone else who are trying to make a living and are often very supportive towards other therapists.

Don't tar everyone with the same brush, but also remember this is BUSINESS. I have a salon with bills to pay, rent, wages etc, and I can end up not having enough time to eat, let alone worry about whether I'm being really kind to absolutely everybody. Having said all that, it does sound like you have had a pretty bad time.

Rather than jumping in and working at these places, make sure you ask questions, not only about what you want, but about what they are offering - will it be on a self employed basis/is it a table to rent/is it your table or one to share. Things can change very quickly, so you need to be ready to move, but don't lose hope. If none of these have worked out, it may be because something better is on it's way.

Good luck x

Thank you- I guess I'm just having a down day!! One of those days where you feel like packing it all in! I felt like I had to vent and what better place than salon geek!

I do need to toughen up and I thank you for your words of encouragement as its helping me see it from another perspective and helping me stay positive x

 

[SuburbanDecay]

I used to feel like that but it's time to become assertive (different to dog eat dog) This pic cheers me up, we all start somewhere it's the downfalls that make us get back up and fight harder for what we love. (I hope it uploads!) xx

 

[hazeleyes]

View attachment 44915

I used to feel like that but it's time to become assertive (different to dog eat dog) This pic cheers me up, we all start somewhere it's the downfalls that make us get back up and fight harder for what we love. (I hope it uploads!) xx

Love that pic! X

 

[laurakate]

I think your post is more of a statement about how you feel than what is going on in the industry as a whole. All the poop that you've mentioned does go on because I've seen it for myself. The way round it is to listen to your instinct and try to avoid/remove yourself from situations that aren't going to work for you.

The thing that worked for me was looking for work in big branded spas because even though it's hard graft with high staff turnover you are more likely to be working for someone with the correct human resources procedures in place. I've got a number of years experience from that and now that I feel I want a more mature environment i am preparing to work for myself.

The opportunities are there it's just about what you look for and how. A good employer should do an interview and then trade test you on a member of staff. ..anyone who asks you to do an unpaid trial is pushing their luck and not worth working for. As for business partners, I think you need to know and trust someone for it to work.

Learn from this and channel it into finding what you do want. That's what worked for me.

 

[laurakate]

Honey, whatever industry you're in, you need to toughen up slightly, and learn to step forward and ASK for what you want. The beauty industry is a bit dog-eat-dog right now, but it's not always been this way.
There's a great book you may want to read called Feel the fear and do it anyway, by Susan somebody. It will help you become assertive without having to become aggressive, and learn to say what it is you want, rather than sit quietly letting stuff happen to you.

Love that book. What i took from it is that yes you will feel scared of things but that's usually derived from the fear that you won't be able to handle it. Once you learn that you can handle it because that's all you can do, it helps to put things into perspective so you can rationalise that maybe doing that thing that you're scared of isn't beyond you

 

[Balance Andover]

I was accused recently of being 'all out for myself' by another therapist when I withheld some information about what training I was doing from her (as I wanted to not say until I had actually done it) but the truth is all I was doing was trying to protect my own business, and my posts on SG will reflect that I will help anyone who needs it.

Take the advice that has been given above, work on your assertiveness and self confidence, stop worrying about what others think and you will be fine.

Michelle x

 

[laurakate]

Assertiveness is good but I want to add that it's important to pick your battles. When I've left some jobs in this industry its been because I've said to myself that "I shouldn't have to fight this hard for the simplest of things. If this job is a constant battle and uphill struggle then I would rather remove myself from this situation". There's nothing wrong with this either. It doesn't make you a quitter, it means that you are seeking to control your own destiny in your career rather than have it controlled by people who's actions you don't/can't respect.

Reading this back i think maybe I've got stronger, older and wiser over my time in industry so far. It's about deciding what you will and won't put up with and then seeking or rejecting opportunities (or not! ) based on that.

 

[wonderwoman]

i think gathering from your experiences so far, you've learnt to avoid these oppertunitist that do unfortunatley prey on the newbies or people trying to get their foot into the industry. It does anger me that they take advantage and so many people end up not wishing to persue a career in this industry. They get put off.

Its all about perservance and being strong willed to make a sucess for yourself. Good Luck xoxo

 

[hazeleyes]

Love that book. What i took from it is that yes you will feel scared of things but that's usually derived from the fear that you won't be able to handle it. Once you learn that you can handle it because that's all you can do, it helps to put things into perspective so you can rationalise that maybe doing that thing that you're scared of isn't beyond you

I'm defo going to order this book today! Sounds ideal xx

 

[hazeleyes]

i think gathering from your experiences so far, you've learnt to avoid these oppertunitist that do unfortunatley prey on the newbies or people trying to get their foot into the industry. It does anger me that they take advantage and so many people end up not wishing to persue a career in this industry. They get put off.

Its all about perservance and being strong willed to make a sucess for yourself. Good Luck xoxo

It's upsetting because afterwards I feel ashamed of myself for falling into traps- can you imagine working for free for three days and then realising that they were just short staffed because they had large hen parties booked in?
I feel almost embarrassed to admit to everyone that they didn't pay me!

In fact my whole experience is embarrassing to admit to you all lol because I feel taken for a fool, in my desire and passion for this industry I've made many mistakes along the way!

 

[hazeleyes]

Assertiveness is good but I want to add that it's important to pick your battles. When I've left some jobs in this industry its been because I've said to myself that "I shouldn't have to fight this hard for the simplest of things. If this job is a constant battle and uphill struggle then I would rather remove myself from this situation". There's nothing wrong with this either. It doesn't make you a quitter, it means that you are seeking to control your own destiny in your career rather than have it controlled by people who's actions you don't/can't respect.

Reading this back i think maybe I've got stronger, older and wiser over my time in industry so far. It's about deciding what you will and won't put up with and then seeking or rejecting opportunities (or not! ) based on that.

Fully agreed. Also I agree with working with people or business partners! I've made the decision that even though it's scarey I'm working alone from now on! That where salon geek has really helped me and hopefully we will continue to glean info and knowledge and from each other as despite working alone it enables us to work alongside each other as well! Xx

 

[hazeleyes]

I was accused recently of being 'all out for myself' by another therapist when I withheld some information about what training I was doing from her (as I wanted to not say until I had actually done it) but the truth is all I was doing was trying to protect my own business, and my posts on SG will reflect that I will help anyone who needs it.

Take the advice that has been given above, work on your assertiveness and self confidence, stop worrying about what others think and you will be fine.

Michelle x

Thank you for supportive words! Yes I understand the need to hold back information sometimes or to be business intelligent- Im learning now how to do that without being unkind! I want to strike that balance between being fair but at the same time not compromising my own goals, dreams and desires... If that makes sense lol x

 

[Balance Andover]

Thank you for supportive words! Yes I understand the need to hold back information sometimes or to be business intelligent- Im learning now how to do that without being unkind! I want to strike that balance between being fair but at the same time not compromising my own goals, dreams and desires... If that makes sense lol x

It makes perfect sense, good luck xx

 

[hazeleyes]

It makes perfect sense, good luck xx

Thank you xxx