My gorgeous Viszla Dingo is sadly no longer with me but brought a huuuge amount of joy and cheer to the family (especially when running around the backgarden with my bra viz a vis Marley & Me lol!!!!). They are completely insane but huugely loveable. Though there are some things they really have to try and remember...........
My master is not a human pillow and I theoretically have my own very nice bed.
Just once I can resist the urge to follow my master when he/she walks into another room.
After 500 retrieves maybe I shouldn't bark and point for another one.
I can easily knock people over at the dog park if I am chasing another dog at 30 mph.
I should not lean on strangers or rub my behind on them just because of a cheap pat.
I can get anything I want if I wait long enough and look so cute.
The original:
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, horse nuggets, etc.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do have a doorbell, but I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration