How to you handle people putting you down?

[411]

Hey geeks

I'm so annoyed need to off load with my geek family!
As the title goes how do you handle this?

I'm a small home based nail salon.
I trained in 2008, and kept my training up to date as money permitted me to train. Due to marriage breaking up, the ups and downs you get I wasn't able to set up my business. Finally did in 2012 dec after re-marrying in August 2012.

Yes I hear it all the time that beauty doesn't pay, you got to work long hours, compared to an office job etc.
I work full time in an office job which I've been working at for the last 13 years, simply because it pays the bills & is a secure job. When I opened my business I did not get a loan I funded it by my wages.

It's was slow to start off with, then picked up for a few months, then slow again. Then I had a fall at work so at home for 3 months, in which it was dead. I've always kept up to date with Beauty shows, new products, systems, designs etc.

I work all day, go home sort out dinner as I have a family. Evening I'm constantly marketing, networking, promoting when I don't have clients, as I only do evenings & weekends.
When I can justify it I will drop a few hours at my full time job and concentrate more hours on the business. My salon will always be a top up for my earning until I feel I'm earning enough to give up my full time job.

I keep getting told my own husband you will never make money, it's your hobby your wasting your time. Go do a course, at college or uni and get a proper job which pays enough. I don't want to do that! I've chosen what is like to do, I'm passionate about it, and I know it can work. I told him just coz you have been lucky enough to land a great job near home which pays very good money not everyone's fortunate enough to have that.
It makes my blood boil when I hear this and I don't want to talk to him which causes arguments. It brings me down as well. I've told him if you ain't got anything positive to say then don't say anything.

I'm very determined to prove him wrong.




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[Mobile Manicure]

Welcome to my world.

We appear to be sharing a husband.

 

[Balance Andover]

Hey geeks

I'm so annoyed need to off load with my geek family!
As the title goes how do you handle this?

I'm a small home based nail salon.
I trained in 2008, and kept my training up to date as money permitted me to train. Due to marriage breaking up, the ups and downs you get I wasn't able to set up my business. Finally did in 2012 dec after re-marrying in August 2012.

Yes I hear it all the time that beauty doesn't pay, you got to work long hours, compared to an office job etc.
I work full time in an office job which I've been working at for the last 13 years, simply because it pays the bills & is a secure job. When I opened my business I did not get a loan I funded it by my wages.

It's was slow to start off with, then picked up for a few months, then slow again. Then I had a fall at work so at home for 3 months, in which it was dead. I've always kept up to date with Beauty shows, new products, systems, designs etc.

I work all day, go home sort out dinner as I have a family. Evening I'm constantly marketing, networking, promoting when I don't have clients, as I only do evenings & weekends.
When I can justify it I will drop a few hours at my full time job and concentrate more hours on the business. My salon will always be a top up for my earning until I feel I'm earning enough to give up my full time job.

I keep getting told my own husband you will never make money, it's your hobby your wasting your time. Go do a course, at college or uni and get a proper job which pays enough. I don't want to do that! I've chosen what is like to do, I'm passionate about it, and I know it can work. I told him just coz you have been lucky enough to land a great job near home which pays very good money not everyone's fortunate enough to have that.
It makes my blood boil when I hear this and I don't want to talk to him which causes arguments. It brings me down as well. I've told him if you ain't got anything positive to say then don't say anything.

I'm very determined to prove him wrong.




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Tell him to s** off :wink2:

 

[ch-ela]

Ok, so what is the exact issue?

Some people have a well paid job and a nice lifestyle.
Some people have an ok job and do something extra on the side to earn a bit of pocket money for luxuries.
Some people have a poorly paid job and need a second job to get by.
Some people don't have a job at all.

Obviously there are many more variations but it could just be that you both think differently.
Does he want you to bring more income into the pot? Does he want to spend more time with you? Does he want you to do more housework?

As long as your work/life balance is more or less as you want it, then it doesn't really matter how you live your life.

Can you sit and talk to him about what the pressing issue is, because it could just be a misunderstanding of each others needs.

 

[Becca@PolishedToPerfection]

I feel the same! Not my partner though he's amazing he's always telling me how I'll have my own salon one day and be filthy rich!! Its everybody else! They seem to think its a hobby for me and that's it can't be a business cos its just "painting peoples nails"!!!! It isn't a hobby I've spent thousands on training and products and have been training for 3yrs! I buy all my products from reputable companies, I'm on the CND salon locator, I'm trying to be the best I can be and certain people still don't take me seriously!! Just keep your chin up and if you really want it work towards it and you'll get it. That's what I keep telling myself anyway! Lol xxx

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[TheBeautyRoomClinic]

welcome to my world also. I set up my own salon upstairs in a hairdressers 2 years ago its doing ok i work full time in my business. my partner hasn't worked in 2 years as he is "struggling" to find work so basically i have supported us both the last 2 years (he's not entitled to any benefits whatsoever because i work full time)

so anyway, im about to launch Medik8 skin peels into my salon and told him about this and he was supportive at the time so that was great, im about to put my first order in next week and i am only spending about £500 enough to carry out the peels and a few retail products just to start me off,

so we were laying in bed the other night and he starts telling me im spending far to much money on the skincare brand and its never going to work as no one will come in for a skin peel As i have a microdermabrasion machine that i never use ( i use the machine a great deal on a weekly basis) apparently im a snob for wanting to lean more towards skincare, instead of a regular run of the mill beauty salon he said im a wannabe doctor (what!) he was telling me it was going to fail, well i saw red, cant believe he was putting the same business down that has been putting food in his belly, clothes on his back and paying the bills for the past 2 years while he sits on his backside and plays xbox all day!! He's not said anything since..... seriously im starting to understand why some people bump off their partners haha

 

[411]

Glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling like this!

He has a good job, earns big money.
I have a decent job but I need extra income to top up my full time as the wage is not extravagant it's ok for getting by paying bills etc.

He tells me between our salaries we can get by comfortably. He said your putting in all this effort and tiring yourself out, and not getting time with him & kids. He also tells me his money is mine, even thought he's outgoing are crazy and just about manages.

I'm funny with things like that as my previous relationship was never like that. My ex never said that and never even once offered to pay for anything.
I managed all I did with my own salary, hence why I will never give up my secure job no matter what I earn.

Before I met him I had my own place, own job car etc and I am a very independent person. I've never asked for anything from anyone or relied on a man to support me.

We also have children, my two live with their dad, his two live with us.
I have my own children's expenses.
Which I don't expect him to pay for, visa versa. Even though we married I feel I still need to be able to support my kids by myself and support my things I need done.




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[Kim Lawless]

I do feel for you. There's a couple of ways of looking at this.

1. If you love what you do and you can afford financially to be dead for three months then tell him just that and do what your heart desires.

2. If you love what you do but your husband is the main bread winner and feels that you both need to bring more money into the house to keep afloat and that being dead for three months is causing financial strain on the family……... then maybe he's got a point.

I think you need to be honest with yourself and work out exactly what your profit was last year. Divide that by twelve and if you feel that's a reasonable income then fine.:hug:

 

[411]

I do feel for you. There's a couple of ways of looking at this.

1. If you love what you do and you can afford financially to be dead for three months then tell him just that and do what your heart desires.

2. If you love what you do but your husband is the main bread winner and feels that you both need to bring more money into the house to keep afloat and that being dead for three months is causing financial strain on the family……... then maybe he's got a point.

I think you need to be honest with yourself and work out exactly what your profit was last year. Divide that by twelve and if you feel that's a reasonable income then fine.:hug:

Thank you for your reply!

When I started it picked up, then went dead now it picking up again as in putting a lot of time into it. I can financially afford to be dead for few months as I have no outgoings. It's a home salon, no staff etc.

He manages all the mortgage, bills, etc, he told me he doesn't need me to contribute he can manage but I contribute by doing groceries, pay my own ph bills, petrol, nights out if I get a change to go out. Manage my kids if they need cash etc.

I made no profit last year as it was my first year I made a loss but I expected that. This year I'm hoping to pick it up, I'm doing lots of marketing, networking, promoting etc.


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[Mobile Manicure]

Thank you for your reply!

When I started it picked up, then went dead now it picking up again as in putting a lot of time into it. I can financially afford to be dead for few months as I have no outgoings. It's a home salon, no staff etc.

He manages all the mortgage, bills, etc, he told me he doesn't need me to contribute he can manage but I contribute by doing groceries, pay my own ph bills, petrol, nights out if I get a change to go out. Manage my kids if they need cash etc.

I made no profit last year as it was my first year I made a loss but I expected that. This year I'm hoping to pick it up, I'm doing lots of marketing, networking, promoting etc.


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This is really scary. My husband sounds the replica of yours. And your lifestyle/finances. He works away all week in Berkshire. I see youre in Berkshire. Does your hubby go away at weekends? Does he look like a bald Ian Beale?

 

[Kim Lawless]

Thank you for your reply!

I made no profit last year as it was my first year I made a loss but I expected that.


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That's totally normal. Oh well if you can manage then give it another year.

As far as someone putting you down, simply look him in the eye and say…….'Stop putting me down; you're making me feel like crap'. That'll make him quake in his boots.

Good luck. x

 

[coco.]

Sometimes men say things wrong, they mean one thing but it comes out another way. Usually in an insulting way!

Maybe he sees you working a lot and putting your time and money into a business and not getting any financial rewards from it, could he of actually been thinking of you and it was coming from a concerned point of view but it came out wrong?

 

[ch-ela]

He said your putting in all this effort and tiring yourself out, and not getting time with him & kids

Maybe this is just his way of letting you know that he wants you to slow down and enjoy time with the children now whilst they are still small (?)

It's easy to push all your energy into a project and to forget what is under your nose. Do you have any work free time, where you are just enjoying family life?

I have been told recently that I need to make more time for "just us". Phone free, internet free, no talk of college or business.

 

[411]

This is really scary. My husband sounds the replica of yours. And your lifestyle/finances. He works away all week in Berkshire. I see youre in Berkshire. Does your hubby go away at weekends? Does he look like a bald Ian Beale?

Your message really made me chuckle!! 😃
Yes I'm in Berkshire, my hubby works in Berkshire but he ain't bald (the last time I looked!) and doesn't look like weasel yet!!!


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[411]

That's totally normal. Oh well if you can manage then give it another year.

As far as someone putting you down, simply look him in the eye and say…….'Stop putting me down; you're making me feel like crap'. That'll make him quake in his boots.

Good luck. x

Oh I will do! Thanks! 😃


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[411]

Maybe this is just his way of letting you know that he wants you to slow down and enjoy time with the children now whilst they are still small (?)

It's easy to push all your energy into a project and to forget what is under your nose. Do you have any work free time, where you are just enjoying family life?

I have been told recently that I need to make more time for "just us". Phone free, internet free, no talk of college or business.

I don't have small children, my two are 22 & 18 they live with their dad. His two live with us, but I don't feel I need to take out time just to sit around with them in the evenings, weekends they are only with us on Sunday. So no kids responsibility.

Yes I do, we have dinner together every evening then everyone does their own thing. Every other Friday hubby & me have a date night, I spend whole day sat with him, every other Sunday when I'm not busy I go to see my children if they are free.


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[411]

Sometimes men say things wrong, they mean one thing but it comes out another way. Usually in an insulting way!

Maybe he sees you working a lot and putting your time and money into a business and not getting any financial rewards from it, could he of actually been thinking of you and it was coming from a concerned point of view but it came out wrong?

I agree it came out wrong but he says I say it how I see it, your putting all your energy into building your business,which isn't making a profit, your not getting time out. Explained to him Rome wasn't built in a day!!
But I do get time out, when I don't have clients I'm in the lounge with everyone but promoting, networking etc, because everyone's on their iPhones or laptops!!


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