I'm going to be a boss, does that mean I need to be mean?

[lbissell86]

Hi Geeks!

SO Im opening my first salon in July within a really busy high end health club (David Lloyd). Im going to need to take on some therapists and have already spoken to a fair few.

The problem is I really struggle to strike the balance between a boss and a colleague. I get on with everyone and I have an absolute fear of conflict and confrontation. Do any of you business owners have the same feeling?

Im seriously worried about this as I know I have to be in control and there will be times I need to raise issues. Im not looking to be torn apart on here but just for some advice n the transition from therapist to owner. I'll still be working there full time so this also makes me feel like "one of the staff".

I really dont want to change does anyone have any suggestions on getting the balance right?

Thank you.

Lauren

 

[persianista]

Hi Geeks!

SO Im opening my first salon in July within a really busy high end health club (David Lloyd). Im going to need to take on some therapists and have already spoken to a fair few.

The problem is I really struggle to strike the balance between a boss and a colleague. I get on with everyone and I have an absolute fear of conflict and confrontation. Do any of you business owners have the same feeling?

Im seriously worried about this as I know I have to be in control and there will be times I need to raise issues. Im not looking to be torn apart on here but just for some advice n the transition from therapist to owner. I'll still be working there full time so this also makes me feel like "one of the staff".

I really dont want to change does anyone have any suggestions on getting the balance right?

Thank you.

Lauren

One of the hardest things is understanding that your staff cease to see you as a normal human, and see you as their boss. Regardless of how fair, kind or nice you are, they won't see it, and in their mind you are the boss, and therefore the enemy.
I spent years as a manager before owning my own salons, and had always been popular at work, so it was a hell of a shock to my system.
Just remember that your staff are never your friends.

 

[Lynne Baker]

and actually, neither are your clients...

 

[Clare2808]

I love my boss she is very fair, pays me well and I love working for her, I respect her as my boss and she respects me for being her employee and a friend.
We get on very well and if there are any issues we get them out in the open straight away and move on!
I guess I am just lucky but being the boss doesn't mean you have to be the enemy!
Good luck hope all goes well! xxx

 

[LilMissEmmylou]

One of the hardest things is understanding that your staff cease to see you as a normal human, and see you as their boss. Regardless of how fair, kind or nice you are, they won't see it, and in their mind you are the boss, and therefore the enemy.

I disagree, i have worked in hotels where I have hapily seen my boss as a friend (and indeed even after I left and one has returned to Australia and another to Egypt) we are STILL friends. The same applys with some managers of venues I have worked in.

IMO if the staff are hard workers and have nothing to fear from their boss and the boss is a fair employer then they can be friends.

That said, as a boss you do need to be willing to actually call your staff on their bull' and point out their flaws (but in a constructive way so they know how to correct themselves). If you can't get your head around doing this then you would find it very hard to manage staff.

 

[sammyantha]

I was a manager for 10years & my best advice would be to remember that you only get 1 first day so make sure you set the bar where you want it.

I always went in very firm with extremely high standards & expectations that way you can then relax them a bit if you feel appropriate, it's much harder to go the other way.

You're not there to be liked & it can be lonely at times but oh so rewarding. Starting to realise how much I miss it.

Good luck



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[NailsXpress]

Do management courses not exist anymore? I am so tired of coming up against young people who have been put in management positions with no experience and they seem to think that they have to be mean! Why?!! Can't they just think things through and be fair, but firm when necessary. Discuss things when not sure with a mentor or such.

 

[Lash N Load]

Your staff, like your customers can also choose to leave when they like...

No to mean. Yes to firm and fair. Good luck.

 

[nicole333]

Mean? No. Be a leader, someone to aspire to and be respected. Be absolutely clear in your expectations though and don't hide behind anything when it comes to stepping up to the mark of being a boss, including those times when someone isn't pulling their weight or doing their job.

In my other job I have had one amazing boss/manager that we still mention now, even though she has long left. I often think about why we all loved working with her and the lasting impression is that,

1) She got stuck in and helped out when it was necessary, so never just stood there and watched while you were left to deal with all the crappy bits.

2) Just made you feel really supported as an employee and if needed you could go to her with anything.

3) Cared about her employees and fought for what was right.

4) Very importantly, was also never a walk over. Even though she was absolutely lovely, she would not let that side of her personality affect her position.

5) All of the above made her an inspirational leader to us and we naturally respected her for those attributes.

I still miss her management style.

 

[Tomme]

Don't be a friend to the staff, be friendly, be kind, but no going to each others house for drinks, no texting about Saturday night etc..
Your going to have to toughen up on the confrontation issues and be prepared to call people into the office for meetings disciplinary meetings and investigation from time to time.

I've been a manager myself and only been in management roles from 18, it's a hard world, you sometimes do have to be the bad guy and tell the staff your not happy or take more action if one is stealing but you get used to it.

The best advice I can give you, which is something that made my employees feel I was fair is, don't ask anything of them you aren't prepared to do yourself.
I climbed into skips, cleaned wee off the floor, re stocked the arms, served customers, mopped the floors and changed lightbulbs. It also gives you a little more to go on if a staff member refuses to do a task.

Look for a management course, I was thrown in the deep end and would have loved the opportunity to do the course. X

 

[lbissell86]

Some really great advice guys thank you!!!

Makes sense really just putting it into motion I guess!!

I've taken a lot from this thread thank you all for your replies


Xx

 

[vanitybeauty1]

I don't think you need to be mean, definitely not.

I respect my staff and they respect me, I treat them fair but I am firm. They have targets they have to reach and I reward them when they do.

I have a very good relationship with my staff, I work at the salon full time as well and I have a few different "personalities" when working there..

When im with a client I am relaxed, friendly and professional and I suppose I act just as my staff do.

When im having staff meetings or talking any kind of business related with my staff I am firm but approachable. I want them to feel they can talk to me, nothing worse than being scared to ask your boss for something!

But when im not talking business related stuff Im very relaxed with my staff and they are with me, I often take them out for meals and drinks and I act just how a friend would act.

There has to be a balance, you cant allow them to walk all over you but its best not to be a bitch either lol x

 

[souz]

start as you mean to go on as you cant be soft to start and then suddenly change. Just be firm but fair and set ground rules. If everyone knows where they stand with regards to working hours, pay, clearing up etc from the start then there should be no reason for you to get tough later on! Yes you may have to remind them to clear up etc but in general if you start well it should carry on that way.

I hear what people have said about their managers being their friends also and still are but when you own your own business and its your livelihood it is slightly different than just being friends with your manager. Never let staff get TOO close to you when its your own, it can be a dangerous thing , a bit like starting a business with friends or family!

Be friends as such by all means but keep a little back and to yourself xx

 

[vanitybeauty1]

start as you mean to go on as you cant be soft to start and then suddenly change. Just be firm but fair and set ground rules. If everyone knows where they stand with regards to working hours, pay, clearing up etc from the start then there should be no reason for you to get tough later on! Yes you may have to remind them to clear up etc but in general if you start well it should carry on that way.

I hear what people have said about their managers being their friends also and still are but when you own your own business and its your livelihood it is slightly different than just being friends with your manager. Never let staff get TOO close to you when its your own, it can be a dangerous thing , a bit like starting a business with friends or family!

Be friends as such by all means but keep a little back and to yourself xx

I know exactly what you mean about starting a business with friends or family, biggest mistake of my life! So much better now I'm alone x

 

[nickij]

I recommend watching Tabitha takes over on you tube... I started watching her yesterday and now I'm addicted, great tv and really puts the business side of running a salon into perspective. Go check it out, informative and entertaining haha xxx

 

[souz]

I know exactly what you mean about starting a business with friends or family, biggest mistake of my life! So much better now I'm alone x

my husband had his own business and got stung badly by his business partner so i know what you mean!!

 

[souz]

I recommend watching Tabitha takes over on you tube... I started watching her yesterday and now I'm addicted, great tv and really puts the business side of running a salon into perspective. Go check it out, informative and entertaining haha xxx

i love that programme and i love tabitha herself, straight talking and great business head on her!

 

[shezybabes]

Not mean just firm but fair. Give feedback and thanks where due and constructive criticism when needed.

Set boundaries from the start so your staff know what you expect and realistic timescales for staff for tasks that require it.

You can't go wrong .