Is it OK to tell your child or someone else they are fat?

[Mobile Manicure]

My friends mum did this to her and as a result they have major issues with food, that she is desperately trying not to pass onto her own kids.

The more of an issue you make of it, the worse they will get. And not in the direction you are hoping. Some crazy people out there. My sister in law is a complete lunatic. Haven't spoken to her for 4 years or seen the kids. I just couldn't cope with her child rearing ideas and keep my trap shut at the same time. Those poor kids are going to have some major issues.

 

[Mobile Manicure]

I'm on a roll now.....

One thing I'd like to mention but I've forgotten as its winter and I don't see them then.....

There are loads of families on our road. 2 families are of the "my children aren't allowed any junk, EVER!".

Well when all the kids play out in the summer, they pop round to each others houses and mess about. Whenever the "non junk" kids come round to ours they're always saying they're hungry. They're not really hungry. They just want something their parents won't allow them to have. One begs me for food (which I don't give as I know I'm not allowed) and the other blatantly goes through our pantry looking for treats. None of the other families kids even mention food. They're too busy playing. I have to remind my kids it's lunch time. Food is never on their minds.

So these parents obsessed with feeding their children no treats whatsoever, EVER really should think again because their kids are obsessing about getting their hands on something they're not allowed. Going on and on about food to your kids, how something's are good for you, some things are bad is a slippery slope to having a child who will grow up with an eating disorder.

People should relax a little. My opinion is that you're doing more harm than good. Feed them a healthy nutritional diet and if granny wants to give the poor kid a cookie, where's the harm?

Oh and I agree with the food to soothe thing. I wouldn't do that. I agree that is using food in the wrong way. My kids get a big hug and lots of kisses to soothe.

And as for my sister in law. If she wasn't going to allow the twins a bit of their birthday cake, why did the cruel b**ch even bother getting one? Talk about rubbing their noses in it!

 

[tonicj]

This is just my opinion!! I think it is unfair to a child not to allow them to have the occasional treat. I think that if a parent is health conscious, then they should educate their child and explain that most things are fine in moderation. As an adult, if someone were to tell me I couldn't have something, then I would want it more. What must a child think?

 

[blossom]

So these parents obsessed with feeding their children no treats whatsoever, EVER really should think again because their kids are obsessing about getting their hands on something they're not allowed. Going on and on about food to your kids, how something's are good for you, some things are bad is a slippery slope to having a child who will grow up with an eating disorder.

!

I think there's definitely something in this.....

I was not one of the children who had to eat healthy and nothing else, BUT I can remember clearly something that bugged me was that I was only allowed HALF a snickers bar (marathon in those days lol) or mars, whatever, and the other half a bar was put back in the cupboard and it was more than I dare do to eat it. (btw i wasn't like 5 or 6 here, more like 14/15)

Several years later when I was at work and for the first time pretty much in control of what I ate instead of mum deciding, I bought 3 iced doughnuts, took them in the loo at work and ate them all in about 90 seconds

Where an anorexic doesn't eat, to feel in control, I feel more like I DO eat to feel in control. Well used to. I probably have a better relationship with food now than ever before (but them I'm in my forties now lol)

I wouldn't say my eating is out of control, more the fact that I really really have to watch what I eat as I have always had sedentary jobs and an appetite to match my husbands who is 6'2 and does a manual job:lol: but I don't think that withheld snickers helped very much!

 

[Mobile Manicure]

I think there's definitely something in this.....

I was not one of the children who had to eat healthy and nothing else, BUT I can remember clearly something that bugged me was that I was only allowed HALF a snickers bar (marathon in those days lol) or mars, whatever, and the other half a bar was put back in the cupboard and it was more than I dare do to eat it. (btw i wasn't like 5 or 6 here, more like 14/15)

Several years later when I was at work and for the first time pretty much in control of what I ate instead of mum deciding, I bought 3 iced doughnuts, took them in the loo at work and ate them all in about 90 seconds

Where an anorexic doesn't eat, to feel in control, I feel more like I DO eat to feel in control. Well used to. I probably have a better relationship with food now than ever before (but them I'm in my forties now lol)

I wouldn't say my eating is out of control, more the fact that I really really have to watch what I eat as I have always had sedentary jobs and an appetite to match my husbands who is 6'2 and does a manual job:lol: but I don't think that withheld snickers helped very much!

That's right Blossom. These children that are denied a treat now and then are the ones that end up bingeing on bags full of junk in secret in their bedrooms with the door locked.

And Shelbie: I had one those boyish figures as a teenager. Didn't get my hips and boobs until much later. I was very envious of the girls with curves. That's all it is, pure evil jealousy if they are bullying your daughter.