i'v found out this weekend that my ex has died

[big miss nails]

Omg i carn't belive it iv found out this weekend that my ex died on december the 7th..I don't know yet how he died his funerals on thursday.
I daren't phone his parents to ask anythink as i don't want to upset them anymore he was there only child so i bet its hitting them hard.
he was 28 years old (the same as me) i met him when i was 4 months pregnant with my first child and he was great with my daughter he nursed her when she was poorly,paced the floor cuddling her while she was teething and helped with the sleepless nights,and organised birthday partys.
But all that ended when we went through a rough patch and he met someone else.we used to talk regularly untill my son was born (with my new partner)but after my son was born we just lost contact with each other.we both had new partners and new lives.but at the weekend i discoverd he had died.im still in shock now i really carn't belive he's gone i still think i might bump into him up town one day.

 

[Martigirl]

Sorry to hear your newsxxxx:hug:

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

It is awful when you hear something like this. Even though your relationship went pear shaped, are you sure his parents would not want to hear from you? I think it would be a kind and sensitive thing to do to contact them and show your concern.:hug:

 

[Brandywine]

Thats really sad. Even though your life has moved on, it sounds like he was a big part of it once. :hug:
I don't imagine that you could upset his parents anymore than they will be already, but it's scary to do. They may well appreciate your bravery in phoning them.

 

[big miss nails]

Thankyou for your replys he's parents are lovely people but i just didnt want to upset them or his patner by phoneing..he was a very big part of my life for 3 years we had many good times but like most couples a few bad times aswell.But i really carnt belive he's gone for good

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

Thankyou for your replys he's parents are lovely people but i just didnt want to upset them or his patner by phoneing..he was a very big part of my life for 3 years we had many good times but like most couples a few bad times aswell.But i really carnt belive he's gone for good

Hunny, as you have posted this openly , I am going to comment openly. I would otherwise usually refer a comment like this to a pm, but I honestly in my heart of hearts don't think you will upset his folks or partner for calling to offer your support and sympathy.

A time like this is a time of caring and not retribution and bitterness. If I was to place myself in their position, I would accept your call with graciousness and thanks. The decision is up to you though. Big :hug: to you xx

 

[*Han*]

so sorry to hear this hun sending u a :hug: xxxx

 

[big miss nails]

Hunny, as you have posted this openly , I am going to comment openly. I would otherwise usually refer a comment like this to a pm, but I honestly in my heart of hearts don't think you will upset his folks or partner for calling to offer your support and sympathy.

A time like this is a time of caring and not retribution and bitterness. If I was to place myself in their position, I would accept your call with graciousness and thanks. The decision is up to you though. Big :hug: to you xx

Thankyou babe im going to call them when the kids are in bed x

 

[fats28]

:hug: This is horrible news hun, I agree with Mrs Clooney. It sounds like he was a big part of your life, if it was me I would be glad to hear from you. Its sounds strange but the very few (thankfully) funerals of my friends I have been to, the parents always comment how touched and helped they have been by how many people have contacted them and how many people have taken the time to go to the funeral. Good luck ringing them:hug: :hug:

 

[oey]

Sorry to hear your news.

When you separated from your ex how did his parents react with you? Have you seen them since.

If there was no bad feelings between you and his parents when you split then I think getting touch with them is the right thing to do. I know that one of the worst things that affects people who have lost loved ones is for people not to get in touch becuase they dont know what to say! Those that do get in tough are better people for doing so.

So if I was you then just give them a ring!

 

[JoJoPearce]

I agree with Mrs C and the others. I think it wouldn't upset his parents if you called to speak to them, They most proberbly would feel pleased that you did.

I know when I lost my dad I was so gratful for the people that contacted me and my mum/sister to let us know that they were thinking about us. People we haven't seen for years and years (one old friend of my mum and dad who they had a falling out, drove 4 hours to see my dad in hospital b4 he passed).

My Brother in Law (hubby's sisters husband) who I am close to never even said he was sorry for my loss, didn't even come to the funeral. I have never said it to him or even my husband but it really hurt.

 

[mandz]

:hug::hug::hug: lots of hugs sent to you chicken!!!!

yea, give his parents a ring, I'm sure they would appreciate the support and like to know you still think of their son fondly!!!!

xxxxxx

 

[Buggy]

i agree, give them a ring hun. it will be a comfort to them, i don't think you will be upsetting them. One of the great comforts my mate's mum had when she lost her son was how many people came to his funeral who obviously thought so fondly of him and wanted to say goodbye. don't be afraid to talk to them, my mate told me that when he died i was the only one who was not afraid to talk to her about it and remember the good times when we used to have a larf together, and all she wanted to do was talk and remember, not avoid the subject.

 

[Pickle]

What an awful shock for you hunny. It is still ok to greave (sp) and I feel it's ok to call also.
Sorry to hear your sad news.
:hug:

 

[big miss nails]

Thankyou all for your lovely replys i made the call but unfortunatly they no longer have that phone number.I tried the phone book online looking for a new number but there isn't one showing up.thankyou all once again for your replys x

 

[JoJoPearce]

Thankyou all for your lovely replys i made the call but unfortunatly they no longer have that phone number.I tried the phone book online looking for a new number but there isn't one showing up.thankyou all once again for your replys x

Do you know if they still live at the same address. If so why not send a sympathy card.