Need girly advice and support right now

[Miss Sylk]

Hi, I'm just looking for anything, a ray of light in a dark moment maybe? I've just split with husband, it's not working anymore, we have so much hate for each other. He's infuriating and can't see any fault in himself. I suffer with anxiety depression on and off bit the last 3 weeks I've been so depressed and suicidal and he's not comforted me once. Instead he just said too me right now "I'm deeply in pain myself from dealing with your depression" :o
We have a 7 year old and I can't face him right now. It would tear him to pieces. He's an emotional kid.
I have no friends to talk to I really don't or family, do I'm alone and just thought of you girls,some of which I imagine live similar life to me maybe. Working long hours, family life, mother and wife, moved away from home.... Etc etc

 

[nailtekireland]

***Sending you a huge,massive hug***

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through right now, but talking it out is definitely a great place to start!! We're all here for you!!

Sometimes talking to strangers,who won't judge, can be a great support. Its good to talk...

Xxx

Sent from my HUAWEI Y330-U01 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[sarah1992]

I'm sure there are many here to listen and to offer advice to you and as the poster below said, talking is a great start to helping yourself to come out of this bad place!

Im not married not do I have kids so I feel there is no real advice I could fairly give you but just want to show you some support and show that people do care, also no matter how much you think the people you do know don't care about you, I can assure you they really do. Don't feel like you can't talk to anybody about it and you will get through it! Xxxx

 

[devonsdreamer]

I split from my husband a few years ago & trust me it does get better!
Do what you can to look after your emotional & physical health. I found it helpful writing a big list of things I had always wanted to do but couldn't whilst looking after house, husband & kids. I set about doing them when the children where with Dad, I had a holiday, went to a festival and loads of other things he wouldnt have been happy about me doing.
Have a good cry if you need it & just be kind to yourself x

 

[SGordon91]

I've pm'd you, hope that's okay xx

 

[Miss Sylk]

Thank U all xxxx

Devon's dreamer.... Did you feel guilt for the children? I feel so much I can't even think of anything else just guilt. X

 

[Elliebop]

Hi it is be really hard dealing with a marriage breakup I have been close to it too , I have 2 kids and found they were pushed aside (un be knowing at the time) just because the volume of emotional stress we were going through. Being depressed is very draining on your soul Iknow you feel alone and that nobody understands how you really feel. But I can say that it will get better for me it was kind of like grieving going through all the emotions hurt,pain, anger, fear etc and dealing with that as hard as it was but it takes time it wont happen overnight. I feel for you its an awful thing to go through alone and we will all try and help if we can chin up my lovely you have the rest of your life to plan and look forward to xx

Sent from my GT-N8010 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[MissKerrie]

I wasn't married to my children's father but we were together for a long time. We separated a good few years due to a few issues and I don't regret my decision now at all! For the first 6 months all I wanted was to have my family together again, I felt guilty for my children as it was me who split the family, it was my fault they only saw their dad at weekends (or when he could be bothered) and I felt guilty for putting them through all the changes of a temporary house, a flat and then finally our own home. 3 years later we are settled in our new home, I am no longer feeling depressed and worthless, I am happy and smiling everyday, my children are happy and I have met someone else who makes me so happy and he is great with my kids! He will never be their dad and doesn't try to be either, but he is here for them and looks out for then like a father should! When the kids are old enough to understand I will explain a little about my reasons for leaving but until then I am going to enjoy being happy with my life! It is hard and it's a horrible thing to go through but sometimes these things are for the best!
Sorry for the long post....just wanted to let you know that there is life after an ex xx

 

[JulesLondon]

Sending you positivity and hope and strength.

You will get through this time, however tough it feels, as will your 7 year old. Take every day as it comes and talk when you need to talk. Getting a therapist of some kind can really help so you can speak to someone unbiased and if you need to talk to someone much quicker, call Samaritans. There's always someone there to listen no matter how alone you may feel. Salon geek is a lovely community as well. Keep strong, everything will get better xxxxx

 

[Spa Therapist]

Hi, I'm just looking for anything, a ray of light in a dark moment maybe? I've just split with husband, it's not working anymore, we have so much hate for each other. He's infuriating and can't see any fault in himself. I suffer with anxiety depression on and off bit the last 3 weeks I've been so depressed and suicidal and he's not comforted me once. Instead he just said too me right now "I'm deeply in pain myself from dealing with your depression" :o
We have a 7 year old and I can't face him right now. It would tear him to pieces. He's an emotional kid.
I have no friends to talk to I really don't or family, do I'm alone and just thought of you girls,some of which I imagine live similar life to me maybe. Working long hours, family life, mother and wife, moved away from home.... Etc etc

Oh you sound so much like me I'm afraid I can't offer any advice (I wish I could) but I'm sending huge hugs. When things feel impossible, think of that lovely little girl who loves you and needs you more than anyone in the world xxx

 

[Redduck]

Just wanted to send my support. Hugs to you xxx

 

[nickysnails200]

Big hugs! Never been married or had kids so can't help with that but I have had depression so I know how bad that can make you feel. Someone suggested Samaritans and that a great idea for when you're at your lowest I've never had to use them but I know people who have and it really helped them. Try thinking of 3 positive things a day no matter how small because that will remind you that it isn't all bad. Without your husband you have one less person to focus on so do things for your self to cheer you up (learn something new,have a beauty treatment,join a class etc) and take your child/children to the local park or for walks fresh air will do you the world of good with your depression. Try not to feel guilty about your child my parents always said if they ever got to a point that they didn't want to be together they would never stay together just for the kids because that never works out. They would end up resenting each other and kids can always sense when something's wrong. If you were unhappy you did the right thing. Good luck Hun keep your chin up and you'll get through it. Xx

 

[dandelionpoppy]

I feel real sympathy for you, and hope and believe that things will get better.

Lots of good advice here, and the only thing I would add is that guilt does no good, neither to the person feeling it, nor the person they feel guilty about. It's a destructive and actually quite self-indulgent emotion. If that sounds hard, let me say I know this through experience.

Keep a close eye on the present, glance forwards to the future, and don't look back. x

 

[Corkrose]

I am sorry that I can not offer much advice but just want to give you my support.

I am not sure what way the system works in the Uk but would there be a cousellor or anyone at you GP practice that you could have a chat too. Sometimes it helps just to talk about things to a stranger.

 

[Miss Sylk]

Thank u all for your words.
Really appreciate it.
Had a terrible night
Today I feel ok tho.
Can't help but feel I should suck it up and stay with him. But I'm fighting that because I know deep down it's not working and never will again.
I'll be depressed with or without him. Without him means one less stress tho as someone said above x

 

[Nats10]

Hugs hope you feel better soon xx

 

[Julie-Liz]

Big hugs to u. Sorry to hear u r going through this,

I have just started to come out of a very rocky patch with my husband, I know it's not the same thing as we r still together, I suffer with manic depression along with borderline personality disorder, none of my friends or family know. My sister has just split from her husband too and the first days/weeks are the hardest, I just wanted to tell you what I told her n that's difficult times in life are not permanent, feeling stronger and in a better place may seem impossible right now but it will come. With depression sometimes u have to hit the bottom before coming back up as it's the only direction left. I really hope u feel better soon and can get through this, stronger and better for it. If your thoughts of suicide become more frequent or worry you make sure u seek help from your gp, maybe get in touch with the charity mind. They helped me a lot with managing my mental health, understanding how to recognise triggers etc. there are lots of organisations out there who can help so u don't feel so alone. Because u r not. If u ever need to vent u can always message me anytime. All the best xx

 

[tanfastic]

Hi there, so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time,

I can't say much as I am in an on and off marriage, 5000 miles from friends and family with no one and nowhere to go in the UK. I have not got the courage to walk out. We don't have children so I really cant give you much advice other than what I can draw from my childhood. My parents stayed together for me, I grew up hearing and seeing awful arguments and fights. Cant even begin to tell you how much I used to lie in bed at night hearing them row again and all the time praying that they would split up. Awful thing for a child to want but my childhood would have been so much happier if my mom had stopped feeling guilty over me and did what was right for her. Might even have given me the courage to make difficult decisions regarding my current situation

Next time you feel guilty try to remember that you might be doing the right thing for your child by removing him or her from the continuous stress.

Big hug to you and chin up. Hope all works out well for you

 

[Hairflair'xo]

Really sorry to hear about the rough time your having I don't have a husband or a child so I can't really advise on that, although I was a child in the middle of a divorce myself, and trust me, kids are very resilient, and will bounce back from it, it's healthier for a child to have separated happy parents than be in an environment where there's tension, he certainly won't hold it against you!
I've had depression (still do I suppose but it's not affecting me right now) so I know the struggle with that, are you on medication or seeing a therapist? It really helps! We are all here to listen! Your not alone I really hope things start looking brighter for you darling, there's always light at the end of the tunnel, sending lots of hugs ❤️ Xxxxx

 

[mimmimus]

Hi, I'm just looking for anything, a ray of light in a dark moment maybe? I've just split with husband, it's not working anymore, we have so much hate for each other. He's infuriating and can't see any fault in himself. I suffer with anxiety depression on and off bit the last 3 weeks I've been so depressed and suicidal and he's not comforted me once. Instead he just said too me right now "I'm deeply in pain myself from dealing with your depression" :o
We have a 7 year old and I can't face him right now. It would tear him to pieces. He's an emotional kid.
I have no friends to talk to I really don't or family, do I'm alone and just thought of you girls,some of which I imagine live similar life to me maybe. Working long hours, family life, mother and wife, moved away from home.... Etc etc

Hey, just wanted to send you some hugs. The geeks here are wonderful to talk to, .. last year I was struggling to leave my then partner of 4 years and I found an enormous amount of support from here. Soon after I met the love of my life.... so see this as a new beginning if you can... nothing is worse than being in an unhealthy relationship and although you feel guilty for your child, I know for a fact that nothing is worse than living in a home where the adults are unhappy.................. Ive had a lot of that in my life and when I was growing up I hoped more than anything that my mum and step dad (whom I grew up with since 3yrs old) would call it a day! Anyway.. not sure if this helped at all but just wanted to say something! Hope it all works out for you!!