She's making me crazy !!

[kittenclaws]

it takes lots of deep breaths and trying to block her abuse out, i have watched every nanny program on tv and tryed all i can and nothing seems to change, i cant even get her in to bed untill 11pm each night as she just wont stay in her room, then she starts all over again at 7am when she gets up, i hate school holidays as i dont get a break from it, i think this is why i loke to be busy as then i dont have time to sit as wallow, im looking forward to the walk this weekend as im off to london friday and home sunday, 3 days to myself yayayay, also i am going to gMex from sat untill monday, another 3 days to do what i want,

i think part of my daughters problem is she knows how my son is and what he has done in the past and she is trying to copy as she thinks it is cool but i have tryed to explaine to her that he is i'll, she is not, but it makes no diference and she still runns the house lituraly (she even tells me when i ca and cant go shopping and to be honest i wont go unless she sais at i causes sooooooooo much trouble if i do, i know it makes me weak), maybe one day she will chill out :sad:

Well I take it all back .... I have an angel child up to your daughter Tracy .... my goodness how on earth do you cope with that sort of behaviour? I flipped when mine told me to 'F off' the one and only time she did it. My daughter is really just lippy and grumpy but after reading your posts I am feeling very very glad that my daughter is prolly just hormonal. You must be at your wits end Tracy, yet you still have time to consider others by doing your walk, what a wonderful person you must be. Gosh I am feeling very humbled now

I have seen kids with behaviour problems similar to what you describe your children doing on that tv show 'The Nanny' or something like and there is ways of getting them to conform to 'normal' exceptable behaviour .... hell knows how its done mind ??

 

[Zuise.e]

Reading this thread has made me feel so much better (sorry guys)........ for I thought I was the only one with 12 year demon daughter/redbull addict.....thinks she's fat and nothing I do is ever good enough!! ( even though this evening I have spent £70 so she can start learning electric guitar and next £100 on guitar which HAS to be pink! so why does she still talk to me like something off the botom of her shoe!! I ground her/ take off her phone/ stop tv/computer..........I even stick to it.........but she's not bothered! She is the original Catherine Tate I swear " Do you think I'm bothered" is her punchline - but to everyone else who really matters - friends and friends mum's she is a sweet little angel!!

 

[Bagpuss]

Once again thank you all so much for your support, i really need it right now..!


As much as it may shock people reading what i have written its 100% worse feeling it. When i had this beautiful little girl all i felt was warmth and love, not for one minute did i ever think that i could feel like this.
The hardest thing i'v ever writen was this thread, too admite that at times i hate my own flesh and blood is bloody awful and yes i do feel like a bad mother and i have failed my daughter.

Im just hoping that like many that have written i and her will come out the other side a stronger family, then i have to go through it all again with my youngest...oh joy lol

Your not a bad mother at all...like i said i haven't experienced this "yet" so i cant imagine what your going through. I would have thought that a bad mother wouldn't be bothered by how she is feeling and wouldn't be on here asking for help .... the fact that you are just shows that you are a good mother...best of luck. xxxx

 

[vicky]

This is what i love about this site, you guys just have so much support wether nail or personnel.

Thank you..! We had a chat last night and i was very calm and told her that i don't want to be the mother from hell shouting and screaming all the time. I told her that i loved her very much but sometime i dont like her behavour. She listened and said that she was very sorry and sometimes she cant help it. I gave her a big cuddle and she started crying and we both agreed to try harder..! lets see what happens.

Thanks for everyone replies x

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Vicky sorry to say that she will relapse back to her old ways, and seriously I think she is right, she can't help the way she is. There was an article a while back that said teenagers couldn't tell the difference between human emotions. They did a test on GMTV and put these teenagers in front of photos with people displaying different emotions. I sat aghast that what was obviously a pic of someone grimacing in pain, my daughter thought was someone laughing. It really helped me change my whole attitude and appreciate that maybe they really don't know how much they were hurting me.

Also have you seen the programme Brat Camp? It shows kids that are REALLY out of control, but the difference is that the people looking after them just grind them down, they won't listen or be swayed by the emotional blackmail the kids spout. They are taught that bad behaviour will not give them rewards, only good will.

I know I have got upset that when I have bought my girls what they want they suddenly returned to L'il Miss Ungrateful. But I feel that I should have been stronger and should have played them at their own game to an extent. That is that when they behaved badly that they were deprived of the things they wanted most. Otherwise all they learned was to be nice when they wanted something and then once they had it it didn't matter any more they could be as rude as they like.

I was lucky my girls didn't give me too much grief - I think 14 was the worst age for them both, pushed me to my very limits. I just kept letting them know that I still loved them, especially when they turned round and said they hated me, it really flummoxed them! Also I let them know the rules of the house - even typed them up at one point! But at that age they love to fight rules, so I didn't go overboard. When my eldest said on her 18th, right I think I'll have a tattoo now, I said oh that'll be nice. She was gutted that she didn't get a reaction!

There is light at the end of the tunnel Vicki, I've just come back from a lovely weeked with my daughter in leicester, and I sat at my pc last night and there was a little note saying "LOVE U MUMMY" with all hearts and stars and smiley faces on it (thanks Nats). Just try and stay sane, that's the best you can do!!

 

[Jen Smith]

This is what i love about this site, you guys just have so much support wether nail or personnel.

Thank you..! We had a chat last night and i was very calm and told her that i don't want to be the mother from hell shouting and screaming all the time. I told her that i loved her very much but sometime i dont like her behavour. She listened and said that she was very sorry and sometimes she cant help it. I gave her a big cuddle and she started crying and we both agreed to try harder..! lets see what happens.

Thanks for everyone replies x

Vicky ... she would have meant everything she said ... she wants to have a good relationship with her mum too you know... but don't be surprised if she slips back to her 'norm' in a couple of days... take time out and have one of these heart to hearts with her once every couple of months It clears the air no end

 

[Sassy Hassy]

when i first read this is was a little shocked...have to say...all this talk of hate and slapping...these are our children. But after reading the replies and not having a daughter of that age...YET !!! (eldest is 9 and still very sweet) what right do i have to judge..none. So although i cannot offer any kind of help...all i will say is that i bet your bottom dollar, if these kids are ever in any trouble...it will be you that they turn toofor help. They think they know it all and you don't understand...but they still need you...they just don't want to admit it. Best of luck mums xxxxx

I know what you are saying Angie, but teenagers are vey confused. They ARE children but think they are adults, they think that as adults we have no rules to abide by, but in reality they just increase as we get older. I've slapped both of mine round the face in pure exhaustion and frustration, it actually defused the situation, but I can't say I was proud of doing it, or would say it was right, but we're only human at the end of the day!

But they did always come to me when they needed help, and as they were well behaved everywhere else I had to take comfort in that, and think I couldn't have been doing that bad a job at bringing them up on my own. After all it's the ones we love the most that get the most crap when we feel bad!

 

[vicky]

Thie thread is a god send, i know this is only the start of things to come but with all this great advice and personnel experience it will put me a step ahead i thank you all for that :hug:
I just hope i keep my cool and not raise to the bait which is her best move...lol

Thanks ladies you'v been great x

 

[kittenclaws]

well my daughter managed to leave me gob smacked last night as i thought she was a demon and there was no relationship left for us at the moment but she felf confident enough to come home and tell me yesterday about some girls she knows are doing drugs at school, i was amazed she told me and i am sooooooooooooooooo very proud of her for telling me, then she added that she had told me because she knew i would understand and in her words "im a cool mum",

it made me feel so proud and it was a great compliment, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it will just take time to get to it

 

[amyuk]

Not being a parent myself i dont really have a lot to add. I just want to say that im thinking of you and that im sending you mahoosive hugs to cheer you up.

Massive Huggles Hunny bunch.
xxx

 

[amyuk]

SOunds like all you geekies need a bit a Hugging, so im now sending Hugs out to each and every one of you.

Loves you all.

Amy
xxx