thank so much for your replies it really really really helps when I read them!!! THANK YOU
so my day has pretty much been in tears all day. He is being amazing towards me after being first angry, now he is very kind to me, he says he knows he has to let me free he wants me to have the best/be happy, but at the same time he cries , and I cry cos I think oh lord how can i ever leave this person he is my best friend etc etc but at the same time.. long term.. as I cant commit to him.. whats the point....... Its been limbo land for at least a year and a half now it cant go on!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to let myself go I have to let HIM go... it just hurts so much I really love him but Im thinking its like he is my best friend, like I love my brother, but Im not sure! But anyways, he will help me get my sh1t together so that I can move/sort myself out and dont feel like im ending up on the street!............... I think this just has to be done no matter how hard!! and I think this is what needs to happen so that I either wake up and realize he IS the one or I find something better, and so that I dont hold him and myself back. But I just have to get through the move.. the emotions......... and so on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its been so emotional today and I can only think itll get a bit worse before getting better............
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