The imagination of children!

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tonicj

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A school teacher friend of mine sent me this today!

Children writing about the Ocean.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly aged 6)

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry 6)

3. If you are surrounded by Ocean, you are an island. If you don't have Ocean all around you, you are incontinent. (Mike 7).

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend anymore. (Kylie 6).

5. A dolphin breaths through an a**hole on the top of it's head. (Billy 8).

6. My Uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie 6).

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William 7).

8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like Mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do Mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen 6).

9. I'm not going to write about the Ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write (Amy6)

10. Some fish are dangerous, Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers (Christopher 7).

11. When you go swimming in the Ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky 8)

13. On vacation my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat a** (Julie 7).

14. The Ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby 6).

15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my Mum. (James 7).


Do you have any to add?
 
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I love it! Kids are so hilarious! My daughters only 2 but I can't wait for her to make me laugh. She already takes things I say so literally!
 
I like no 4.... Aw!
 
I'm not a fan of kids by any stretch.. ( however I have an older one of my own) ...but I did laugh at this thread and for some reason number 5.

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15 is fantastic
 
I love them,really made me laugh.x
 
Oh, just thought of another one! When my daughter was at pre-school (a good few years ago) the teacher had asked them to draw a picture of their favourite animal. When the teacher came back to my daughter, she could see this green scribble all over the page. My daughter said "this is a tiger." The teacher said "I can't see a tiger." My daughter replied "the tiger is hiding behind the grass.":)
 
Surely some of these aren't real lol like number 8? Why would a 6 year old know that lol
 
I've been giggling at the innocence of all these and the well ... Educated side of some that I don't think they should know at their age but bless them, 14 and 15 are my faves and the sharks that are nasty like their friend.

My nephew is 4 and very often comes out with amusing things and I sit trying to work out where he plucked a information from lol. But he drew us a picture a few weeks ago

ImageUploadedBySalonGeek1384162210.993070.jpg

Now hazard a guess what it is ... It's the ninja turtles and the trainer, forgot the rats name. Lol. I was wetting myself and he couldn't see what was funny.

Also he came up to me a couple months ago
'Auntie nic, do you know what Michael Angelo fights with?'
'Is he the one with the stick?'
'No, and its a ...(whatever it is called he told me here) and that's ...(whoever uses that)'
'Is it the one with the two forks?'
'No, they're ... And that's Raphael'
'Is it the one with....? I don't know (I'd remembered so thought I'd let him tell me) what?'
'NUTCRACKERS'

I was dying! He actually meant to say nunchackers (however thats spelt)

He is adorable. Lol.
 
Surely some of these aren't real lol like number 8? Why would a 6 year old know that lol

Who knows? I just read them for what they are and some of them made me smile xx
 
Kids are so funny I remember babysitting my little cousin and I said to her dont you contradict me so she stormed upatairs and shouted dont you donkey dick me either I couldnt help but laugh lol!

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My daughter 3yo this afternoon said mum look a doggy in the sky
I said Isla I don't think there is a doggy in the sky
Yes mummy look it's the clouds
 
I used to teach primary school children and once while supplying a reception class a particular boy kept acting really silly and getting himself into trouble. Finally I asked why he was being silly and his response in the most sweetest and innocent voice: "because I forgot my brain...." The next day covering the same class again, this boy approaches me first thing in the morning and said, "miss I've got my brain with me today". Sadly he must have 'lost' it again because he didn't earn his sticker for good behaviour.
 
9. I'm not going to write about the Ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write (Amy6)

Oh my god....HAHAHAHA!!!!! I wish I could get my childhood imagination back!
 
I was watching my friends 3 and a half year old a few weeks ago and we took his dog a walk round the building, another dog was coming towards us and he screams ooh look sarah a hot dog!! I was decked laughing haha. Or a guy was walking towards us with his head phones in, mullet the lot (looked a lot like the boys grandad actually) and he shouts wow look at that cool dude! Needless to say I didn't stop laughing at him the whole day!! Xx
 
My mom tells me today, my nephew was playing fighting with the hulk fighting someone in a game, and he says 'look nanny, he's waking him off'

The pure innocence just gets me!
 
My youngest (3) just asked me to make her treacle pudding I said don't know how to make that and she said its easy cheese with ice cream

Yuck
 
I could go on forever with stuff my 4 year old comes out with!

I was getting him dressed at my mams & my dad said to my son who was messing about 'will you just apply yourself to what you're doing' & my son shouted 'no i wont ply myself' hahaha

He once cut a worm in half with his toy saw so it wasn't on its own & had a friend to play with

This one is kind of naughty! I never EVER swear infront of my child but we once pulled into a carpark at Clumber Park & he just unfastened his seatbelt, opened the car door & shouted 's**t the bed we're here, wahoo' god knows where he heard that from lol
 
I could go on forever with stuff my 4 year old comes out with!

I was getting him dressed at my mams & my dad said to my son who was messing about 'will you just apply yourself to what you're doing' & my son shouted 'no i wont ply myself' hahaha

He once cut a worm in half with his toy saw so it wasn't on its own & had a friend to play with

This one is kind of naughty! I never EVER swear infront of my child but we once pulled into a carpark at Clumber Park & he just unfastened his seatbelt, opened the car door & shouted 's**t the bed we're here, wahoo' god knows where he heard that from lol

Haha that last made me laugh!! I also never swear in front of my 3 year old but when we went to look around his new nursery he didn't say a word while we were in there so I asked him when we got out if he liked it this was his reply: "no I don't like it Mammy" why darling? "Cos it's s**t!" Xx

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