Lady H
Well-Known Member
Hi guys
I really need some advice, I have put this in my journal as wasnt sure it was the right thing to start a thread but someone has kindly pointed out that the geeks are a helpful bunch, so here goes...
Im really confused about my marriage at the moment. I have been quite happily plodding along thinking things have been going great lately, we are looking forward to getting our new house and alls hunky dory. Mark said he wanted to take me out for a meal tonight which he doesnt suggest THAT often so I was pleased. Then out of the blue a couple of nights ago mark says he needs to talk to me, he says he thinks our relationship is in trouble. He says he feels like we are going to end up like sister and brother not man and wife if things go the way they are. He feels that I have no feelings for him anymore. All this has stemmed from my sex drive being low over the last couple of months (due to my depression and self esteem being rock bottom in my opinion). I dont think he has THAT much to complain about as (soz to go into detail) we still have sex once or twice a week so its not like i havent gone near him for months! The only exception is when I have my period. We have talked about this before as he has always had a higher sex drive than me, and it has been an issue before to be honest, but my issues are still being sorted and I have also explained before that I feel I cant go to cuddle or kiss him unless I want to initiate sex as he sees any attempt at showing my affection as being a prelude to sex. Then he gets peed off when I reject him and makes me feel like I should not have "got him excited" (not my fault it happens so easily) hence the reason I feel I cannot be affectionate all the time. Its a vicious circle isnt it? I am feeling more confident about myself now Im losing weight but I still have returning to work next week looming over me which is a big deal for me and I sometimes think he is such a w*nker for choosing the worst moments to start saying sh*t like this. He told me the other night he was considering going to stay at his mams for a few days to get his head straight but decided to speak to me about it instead. This really shocked me as we have never done anything like this in the whole 5 and a half years we have been together and it really hurt me.
Anyway last night he was watching the football with my brother and i was upstairs taking my make up off and stuff and his phone rang. People are always calling him so that was nowt, but later on he told me it was this girl from work who called (he never just tells me out of the blue who phones him, I sometimes will ask who he was on the phone to - not out of suspicion though, and he will usually say "that was so and so" if we are in the same room when the phone rings.) She is deputy manager of the team he is manager of so it didnt bother me that she rang him, lots of people from work call him, its normal, but he said she called him to talk as she is having issues with her husband, but then she said she didnt want to bother him at home and left it at that. He said he text her but she hasnt replied so far. He said he wasnt bothered because he has enough probs of his own without other peoples, but I cant help thinking something about this is bothering me. I said, why would she call her manager to talk about her marriage? He said they often go for walks on their lunch and she has spoke about it a few times, and thats why she called him. Im worried that he has feelings for her and thats why he is saying we have problems, to make him feel less guilty. Or have we really got problems and me being oblivious and having a low sex drive is pushing them together??? Or am I just being paranoid for nothing?
Thanks to those of you who have spoke to me about it x x x x x
I really need some advice, I have put this in my journal as wasnt sure it was the right thing to start a thread but someone has kindly pointed out that the geeks are a helpful bunch, so here goes...
Im really confused about my marriage at the moment. I have been quite happily plodding along thinking things have been going great lately, we are looking forward to getting our new house and alls hunky dory. Mark said he wanted to take me out for a meal tonight which he doesnt suggest THAT often so I was pleased. Then out of the blue a couple of nights ago mark says he needs to talk to me, he says he thinks our relationship is in trouble. He says he feels like we are going to end up like sister and brother not man and wife if things go the way they are. He feels that I have no feelings for him anymore. All this has stemmed from my sex drive being low over the last couple of months (due to my depression and self esteem being rock bottom in my opinion). I dont think he has THAT much to complain about as (soz to go into detail) we still have sex once or twice a week so its not like i havent gone near him for months! The only exception is when I have my period. We have talked about this before as he has always had a higher sex drive than me, and it has been an issue before to be honest, but my issues are still being sorted and I have also explained before that I feel I cant go to cuddle or kiss him unless I want to initiate sex as he sees any attempt at showing my affection as being a prelude to sex. Then he gets peed off when I reject him and makes me feel like I should not have "got him excited" (not my fault it happens so easily) hence the reason I feel I cannot be affectionate all the time. Its a vicious circle isnt it? I am feeling more confident about myself now Im losing weight but I still have returning to work next week looming over me which is a big deal for me and I sometimes think he is such a w*nker for choosing the worst moments to start saying sh*t like this. He told me the other night he was considering going to stay at his mams for a few days to get his head straight but decided to speak to me about it instead. This really shocked me as we have never done anything like this in the whole 5 and a half years we have been together and it really hurt me.
Anyway last night he was watching the football with my brother and i was upstairs taking my make up off and stuff and his phone rang. People are always calling him so that was nowt, but later on he told me it was this girl from work who called (he never just tells me out of the blue who phones him, I sometimes will ask who he was on the phone to - not out of suspicion though, and he will usually say "that was so and so" if we are in the same room when the phone rings.) She is deputy manager of the team he is manager of so it didnt bother me that she rang him, lots of people from work call him, its normal, but he said she called him to talk as she is having issues with her husband, but then she said she didnt want to bother him at home and left it at that. He said he text her but she hasnt replied so far. He said he wasnt bothered because he has enough probs of his own without other peoples, but I cant help thinking something about this is bothering me. I said, why would she call her manager to talk about her marriage? He said they often go for walks on their lunch and she has spoke about it a few times, and thats why she called him. Im worried that he has feelings for her and thats why he is saying we have problems, to make him feel less guilty. Or have we really got problems and me being oblivious and having a low sex drive is pushing them together??? Or am I just being paranoid for nothing?
Thanks to those of you who have spoke to me about it x x x x x
