Anyone here have a child with ADHD?

[Kerryanne]

Hiya all,

A bit of a random question really but do you or any of your family have ADHD?

It's been suspected that my nephew has it but is sees someone at cams that is saying his problems are all based on trauma and he doesn't have any medical problems but he's not a dr or anything like that so I don't know how he can say that for certain :-O

William has been seeing him for just over a year and his behaviour has gotten soooooo bad it even shocks me at times, anyone got any advice on how to manage all this or just any advice?

Xx

 

[Verve Designs]

ADHD is a medical condition (and a potentially serious one- as its a chronic disorder)- it's not something to be bandied around by people who aren't health care practitioners. His parents ought to get him medically diagnosed properly- and base his treatment on that.

 

[mizzy_dizzy]

CHAMS is Child hood and Adolescent Mental Health Services ,
they are part of nhs / local authority health care , mostly the counseling side of it .
the CHAMS people are trained , maybe not doctors but they are trained in child mental health . and will be able to help with coping strategy's and things ,

remember the servesis are there to help the child , the parent can go to the meating and say "what can you do for us " or "what services do you offer "

this is very important , even if you all do get an assessment that shows ADHD medication is not a magic pill , foundations , strategy's and routeens in the childs life will help far more than medication ,

trauma CAN bring on ADHD ,

as for getting him assesed if CHAMS cant help then
I think you will need the school to fill out paper work referring him for ADHD assessments ,
the family GP could allso get the paper work ball rolling but most familly GPs dont know the family's or kids these days so the school would be the best place to start .

 

[Jocie]

My hubby has severe ADHD. He has had to go on medication, counselling it is very difficult for us sometimes. I feel as though I'm raising a child at times even though he is over 5 years older then me I love him to bits and pieces though and he is a fantastic spouse. It went in diagnosed for years and years. His mom refused him to be looked at as a child ( she is a substance abusing selfish swine) he was kicked out of at least six different schools. Started working at 14 and got into a lot of bad things that followed him into his adult year's. It's best to catch it young, my husband ADHD practically crippled him developmently in adulthood. They told him he was lucky to have me and my patience and that his behavior at 25 was like a 16 or 17 year old.
It was such q rough time but once on the right meds and his mind was on the right things he was able to go back to schoool for aquaculture biology and passed with flying colors. He has even been slowly was weend off his meds and rarely takes it now. He still has fixation issues and his little fits but its like a whole new man. After going through the 4 year journey we went on it was tough but well worth it. Different things work for different people. It's just important that they have as much love and support as possible and the rest works itself out.

 

[Kerryanne]

What's cams? Who's William??

ADHD is a medical condition (and a potentially serious one- as its a chronic disorder)- it's not something to be bandied around by people who aren't health care practitioners. His parents ought to get him medically diagnosed properly- and base his treatment on that.

Cams (not sure if I've spelt it correctly) is for children who have emotional problems and there meant to help children learn the tools to help with deal with there problems etc etc...

William is my nephew he's 10 and a little star in my eyes but he has gotten out of control and I feel is getting to be a danger to himself....

William doesn't have a father figure in his life and my is going through her second divorce but we are all very close in my family so what effects one of us effects us all :-( (us all meaning the adults).

Me and Claire (oldest sister, I went for support) went to the doctors to try and get some help and they said his councillor at cams needs to get him referred because on there reports him the councillor called Mark he's saying they are making great progress and its all trauma based, but William is getting worse plus the teen attitude is coming in the play also.

His tempers can get so bad that he even really damaged my neck and shoulder, my other nephew has ADHD but started to get treated when he was like 8 or something but his behaviour and other things were quite similar (every child is different obv) no1 will do anything though with out his councillor approving it :-S I mean just to see a dr about this and to even look into his problems maybe being more then trauma would be great but Mark has somehow got the control.

My best friend works everyday with children that have problems like ADHD and even she is confused why the situation isn't being looked into further :-(

I help out as much as I can cause she's dealing with the divorce and William and a little 3 year old girl (Antonia aka Nia) and she is passed herself but there really is only so much we can do with out guidance from the doctors or someone like that.

I mean I'm getting to my breaking point.... Just the other day William went to school and he had a cat scratch on his arm from when he kept picking up their cat and she wanted to get down and he wouldn't let her so she scratched him as cats do and the headmaster asked what had happened to him (clearly knowing it was from the cat) and William said I don't know, I woke up with needles in my arm :-O so the headmaster said do you mean pins and needles and William said no actual needles :-O So that was a big red flag to them and it just never seems to stop :.-(

Xx

 

[Verve Designs]

Sorry- my fault- edited that bit out as I didn't read your post properly in the first place.

Good luck to him anyway- can't be much fun.

 

[Kerryanne]

My hubby has severe ADHD. He has had to go on medication, counselling it is very difficult for us sometimes. I feel as though I'm raising a child at times even though he is over 5 years older then me I love him to bits and pieces though and he is a fantastic spouse. It went in diagnosed for years and years. His mom refused him to be looked at as a child ( she is a substance abusing selfish swine) he was kicked out of at least six different schools. Started working at 14 and got into a lot of bad things that followed him into his adult year's. It's best to catch it young, my husband ADHD practically crippled him developmently in adulthood. They told him he was lucky to have me and my patience and that his behavior at 25 was like a 16 or 17 year old.
It was such q rough time but once on the right meds and his mind was on the right things he was able to go back to schoool for aquaculture biology and passed with flying colors. He has even been slowly was weend off his meds and rarely takes it now. He still has fixation issues and his little fits but its like a whole new man. After going through the 4 year journey we went on it was tough but well worth it. Different things work for different people. It's just important that they have as much love and support as possible and the rest works itself out.

I just want to support him as best as I can and I have learnt some tricks how to help when he kicks off like its best to talk to him with a soft soothing voice and that seems to calm him down faster then anything else but I know his mum finds it difficult to cope something's which is understandable. I think finding little tricks like that are very important because if he keeps calm then he finds it easier to cope and it's nice for us too.

At the end of the day if William is finding his day to day life easier to manage then we are really happy but at the moment he is so up and down its unreal :-( xx

 

[Baggybear]

My eldest son has ADHD.

He was refered through the school (after I asked them to do it) and then assessed and diagnosed with ADHD. We chose to try medication as his issues are concentration based (there are many different forms of ADHD and his is not so much behavioural -he does have some mild behaviour issues but nowhere near as bad as some with ADHD).

He started medication at age 8 and is nearly 16 now. With his tablets he is calm and thinks things through without his meds he acts/speaks before thinking which gets him into a lot of trouble and he can't concentrate at all (will go upstairs on an errand and then have to ask every 2 minutes where he is going and what he is doing/getting).

He wants to stop taking the medication but knows he is better off taking it because I recently allowed him to have 1 month with no meds and then asked his teachers to give feedback on his work & behaviour for the month compared to the month before when he was taking his meds and every one of them said he needs to concentrate more, stop fidgeting and was better in the month before (they didn't know when he did or didn't take the meds).

He has agreed to take meds until after his GCSE exams and then we will look at things again (if he goes to college etc...).

ADHD can be hard to deal with and diagnosis is tough as there doesn't seem to be any hard & fast symptoms to help you determine that it is or isn't ADHD. It took a long time to get a diagnosis (from age 5 to age 8) as we seem to forever have new Dr's (our area doesn't have a Dr at the moment, the post seems to be too demanding for anyone to stay more than a year or so - which has been hard on us as we have to recap everything all the time and they all want to try different things - now I am determined to keep his meds the same until after all exams and not allow them to make any changes as it is too important a time).

I know other families with ADHD children who are more behavioural trouble and I know it can be VERY tough. My friends little girl actually beat her mum up when she was only 5 - the mum was too worried to restrain etc.. as social services were involved and so she just curled up and let the child beat/kick/punch her. She was covered in bruises all because she didn't give her child the correct flavour packet of crisps. That child was then diagnosed at 6 as ADHD and is on meds, she is an angel but a devil without meds as she just can't think straight before she acts. It is a medical issue and is not a thing she can change without the correct meds.

My son is hoping to be able to stop the medication when he is older and live a 'normal' life, I believe he will learn to concentrate when he needs to but that for his school life he needs to take medication for him to get the best results he can and the results he deserves.

 

[pinkeedee]

My son has Aspergers Syndrome and the initial referal came from school to the GP and then from the GP to a specialist. After many months of tests and consultations we finally got the diagnosis. He was issued with a statement of special needs and lots changed from there. We got him into a school with an Autistic Resource Dept where he gets one to one support at all times and an escort to take him to school via taxi everyday. Early diagnosis is essential for the childs sake and for their families.

 

[Kerryanne]

My eldest son has ADHD.

He was refered through the school (after I asked them to do it) and then assessed and diagnosed with ADHD. We chose to try medication as his issues are concentration based (there are many different forms of ADHD and his is not so much behavioural -he does have some mild behaviour issues but nowhere near as bad as some with ADHD).

He started medication at age 8 and is nearly 16 now. With his tablets he is calm and thinks things through without his meds he acts/speaks before thinking which gets him into a lot of trouble and he can't concentrate at all (will go upstairs on an errand and then have to ask every 2 minutes where he is going and what he is doing/getting).

He wants to stop taking the medication but knows he is better off taking it because I allowed him to have 1 month with no meds and then asked his teachers to give feedback on his work & behaviour for the month compared to the month before when he was taking his meds and every one of them said he needs to concentrate more, stop fidgeting and was better in the month before (they didn't know when he did or didn't take the meds).

He has agreed to take meds until after his GCSE exams and then we will look at things again (if he goes to college etc...).

ADHD can be hard to deal with and diagnosis is tough as there doesn't seem to be any hard & fast symptoms to help you determine that it is or isn't ADHD. It took a long time to get a diagnosis (from age 5 to age 8) as we seem to forever have new Dr's (our area doesn't have a Dr at the moment, the post seems to be too demanding for anyone to stay more than a year or so - which has been hard on us as we have to recap everything all the time and they all want to try different things - now I am determined to keep his meds the same until after all exams and not allow them to make any changes as it is too important a time).

I know other families with ADHD children who are more behavioural trouble and I know it can be VERY tough. My friends little girl actually beat her mum up when she was only 5 - the mum was too worried to restrain etc.. as social services were involved and so she just curled up and let the child beat/kick/punch her. She was covered in bruises all because she didn't give her child the correct flavour packet of crisps. That child was then diagnosed at 6 as ADHD and id on meds, she is an angel but a devil without meds as she just can't think straight before she acts. It is a medical issue and is not a thing she can change without the correct meds.

My son is hoping to be able to stop the medication when he is older and live a 'normal' life, I believe he will learn to concentrate when he needs to but that for his school life he needs to take medication for him to get the best results he can and the results he deserves.

William has more then behaviour issues but that is at the head of the pack cause we are having to watch him 24/7.
We were looking through school reports and were talking to his teachers etc and we are always hearing comments like: short attention span, easily distracted, making careless mistakes, very forgetful, can't finish anything he starts, trouble communicating, problems listening, can't sit still, always fidgeting, unable to settle, acting without thinking, having no sense of danger....

Claire asks for feedback very 2 months etc cause she knows William is having problems and most of them are comments from those reports but some are from family and his rugby coach etc.

When we went through and highlighted them it was quite overwhelming

Xx

 

[Chezzababy]

Yeah I have a son with it. Very difficult! If you read one of my previous posts. Only advice is not to let it go. Fight for it, it took my years of hard work with the "professional" people. His mother knows him better than anyone else! Tell her to be strong!

All the best!

xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

My daughter has it and yes it's hard I fought for years to get her seen and it wasn't till I moved house and area and new doctor that they listened.I whent there besides myself and they referred me to specialists who ran tests and my daughter has learning problems and medical.

You have to push push push it took me 7 years of fighting for anyone to Listern.Don't give up pushing you will feel like it at times but just battle on.

My daughter says awful things because of her memory is so bad.She told teachers she hadn't eaten that she hasn't eaten for days lol and because she was born at 25 weeks she is tiny she's nearly 8 and weights 3 stone so you can imagine what the school said lol it's not funny but if I didn't laugh I would cry lol.

Keep pushing XX

 

[Kerryanne]

Thank you everyone for all your help and guidance

We got word just before tea time that William is now going to be seen by a psychiatrist now instead of that Mark man so hopefully he will benefit from her knowledge....

It would really be great if William could improve before he starts year 7 in September and he copes better with the change

Fingers crossed xxx

 

[mini4mum]

My eldest daughter (20) has ADHD Aspergers & learning difficulties. Its so hard for them but as parents/carers/family it breaks your heart. It's an uphill struggle that never seems to cease. But on the positive side she is SO much fun to be around it counteracts all the negative

 

[Bo]

ADHD runs in families. I suspected my son had it and then came to realized I have it too. I believe my father had it. Fortunately, I am borderline and don't take meds. Knowing I'm ADHD answered a lot of questions in my life. Why I struggle to be on time, I can be very blunt. But I've learned to compensate, be organized, queen of the sticky notes. My dear husband will reign me in when I get out there! I have also used it to my advantage. I'm a hell of a worker! My main career is a restaurant manager. Which is perfect for me. It's very fast paced, I'm on my feet running all day. It's a positive that I'm very social …talkative and outgoing with customers. I do nails part time and I love to hyper focus on my work and be creative. Oh, by the way, we can be quite charming and tons of fun.
Good luck to you and your nephew.

 

[Kerryanne]

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[Kerryanne]

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[mizzy_dizzy]

That's alot of there personal info you have put on here .

 

[Kerryanne]

Yeah well sometimes the only way to get true advice is if the people or person knows the actual situation but for all anyone knows I could have used different names for people or something and its not like I'm going to actually meet anyone from here LMAO.

Normally I never talk about anything about my life or my family with anyone but my family or my boyfriend and that's only cause we have been together 2 years so by now he has seen my ups and downs etc....

Everyone needs a bit of a vent or something to someone who doesn't know you or have anything to gain from the situation.

 

[Hairdaze]

Your very brave putting all this personal information on here but from what I have read I don't think he has ADHD. I would say that it is more likely he has attachment difficulties. If you want to PM me I will talk to you more about this rather than in an open forum x