Awful day!

[Dexy]

Need to just type everything down so I can get it off my chest.
My brother and I have never been close, things happened in childhood that my mum felt guilty over and basically if my brother bent over a ray of sun light would shine from his a***.
My parents have just taken my daughter on holiday who is 10 and my brother and his wife and daughter who is 19 went as well, anyway my daughter threw a common ten year old strop and my brothers daughter smacked her!
I feel really p****** off over this and angry, I sent my brother a text saying I have never laid a finger on either of his kids so what gives his daughter the right to think she can smack mine. Then I rang my mum to find out what has been done about it and she and my brother start having a go at me and apparently its my fault for raising a 10 year old who strops from time to time ?!
Feel like after 20 years of the same crap I cant take anymore with any of them and think I would be better distancing myself from the lot of them, sorry to moan but sat crying feeling a bit helpless as she is 600 miles away and I cant exactly just nip and pick her up :-(

 

[Nails<3]

Need to just type everything down so I can get it off my chest.
My brother and I have never been close, things happened in childhood that my mum felt guilty over and basically if my brother bent over a ray of sun light would shine from his a***.
My parents have just taken my daughter on holiday who is 10 and my brother and his wife and daughter who is 19 went as well, anyway my daughter threw a common ten year old strop and my brothers daughter smacked her!
I feel really p****** off over this and angry, I sent my brother a text saying I have never laid a finger on either of his kids so what gives his daughter the right to think she can smack mine. Then I rang my mum to find out what has been done about it and she and my brother start having a go at me and apparently its my fault for raising a 10 year old who strops from time to time ?!
Feel like after 20 years of the same crap I cant take anymore with any of them and think I would be better distancing myself from the lot of them, sorry to moan but sat crying feeling a bit helpless as she is 600 miles away and I cant exactly just nip and pick her up :-(

I would be angry also so you are well within your rights to be. I don't know anyone who has a perfect child especially at such a young age. My daughter is like satan at the moment

Your niece had no right to smack your daughter and shouldn't of hit her no matter her attitude or strop. If you really feel that distancing yourself is the right thing to do then do it.

My mum kept getting involved in how I bring up my children. She had a go at me once for removing my sons consoles as he was naughty said it was like a boot camp haha. I stopped talking to her for 7-8 months because I was so angry. She seems to be better now which is good.

Can you sit down with your family and tell them how you feel or do you think it can't be resolved. It's a horrible situation to be in. Xxx

 

[smallandcute]

What! I would be more then angry to say the least! When your daughter gets back go get her asap and tell that brother and mother that they have just lost their rights to seeing you and your child. If your mum gets in a strop then point out that for once both her and your brother and niece were in the wrong and if nothing else she was supposed to protect you daughter which clearly she hasnt done. Leave them to stew on it for a while. Sending you and your daughter lots of hugs you need better then that x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[waffle4]

How is your daughter feeling about it all?

 

[Abbie101]

I would be angry too! I don't even have a child but I know children strop (I woke in a party shop I see it every time I'm there). But seriously?! Every child strops even if their an angel usually, I strop occasionally an I'm 19! Xx

 

[Crystal colleen]

Hi I feel very upset and angry for you after reading that.No body has the right to smak your child and especially not your brothers 19 year old daughter I think that is disgusting behaviour.

All children strop off from time to time even teenagers that is part of growing up.I would feel exactly like you right now.I would be inclined to drive there and pick her up though as I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being there and I'm sure she feels a tad uncomfortable.Obviously though if it's not possible you shouldn't feel bad as you never planned for this to happen.

I'm sure your brothers kids has stropped off and still do.

I think maybe distancing yourself is a good idea I know I would.

Did your daughter tell you she had been smacked or did they tell you.If your daughter did how did she seem to you.Poor child xxx

 

[Penny Vintage]

I dont have kids but i do have a young nephew. When im around him I am not his mum so therefor I go by his parents rules. It doesnt matter if i have different views but as long as its safe i go by what they do. If they believed in the naughty step: i do the naughty step. She had no right to smack her and what makes me worry is if your brother has not told her off, she must think thats fine!!

 

[xnailsbylisax]

If they're in the same country there's nothing stopping you from going & picking her up x

 

[tanfastic]

Maybe your niece smacked because that is how she was raised? I agree with the others though, tell your mother that she has let you down badly, she was supposed to protect your daughter and deal with all situations regarding her behavior, safety and well being while on holiday with them.

If you do not smack your child no one else should have the right to. Some families believe in smacking so you HAVE to make them aware that you do not believe in smacking and they are not to lay a finger on your daughter ever again !!!! I would threaten to report her for hitting your child.

I hope she is OK and not too upset, a smack is not going to kill her, it will upset her though being violated like that. I grew up with regular smacks and " hidings" with a belt, it does upset you and makes you very angry and also makes you feel helpless as you have no right to voice your feelings. Thank goodness corporal punishment is not that prevalent anymore.

 

[Dexy]

Hi
Thanks for your replies XXXX
I've spoke to my daughter, she is upset, they are cutting the holiday short and are on the way home.
I have wrote a few things down in a message to my mum as it wouldn't work saying it face to face when she gets back, she's not even bothered replying to me. When we were growing up my parents did hit us, and that is why I said I would never smack my daughter and I always told my mum why I would never smack her. I believe that there are other ways of dealing with strops & tantrums.
Apparently my brother did tell her off for doing it but still managed with my mother to turn it back on me. Guess its lesson learned she won't be having a holiday with them again.
Its a shame as I didn't have grandparents around when I was growing up and loved the fact my daughter did, but if I cant trust her to keep her safe then its a no from now on.
Thanks again everyone, I felt like I was gonna go loopy when I found out so glad to be able to talk to people about it big hug to you all XX
She should be back around 8 so I will have either calmed down a bit or worked myself up where I let rip ?!
Thanks

 

[Dexy]

Hi Crystal Colleen My niece rang me to tell me she had done it, and that she would do it again if she had too, I can't really repeat what I said to her as it wasn't very lady like! I then rang my daughter straight away to see what had happened, she's no angel but I don't think its for my niece to discipline her, I never once disciplined my brothers as they were growing up I left it to him and his wife .

 

[Dexy]

I would be angry also so you are well within your rights to be. I don't know anyone who has a perfect child especially at such a young age. My daughter is like satan at the moment

Your niece had no right to smack your daughter and shouldn't of hit her no matter her attitude or strop. If you really feel that distancing yourself is the right thing to do then do it.

My mum kept getting involved in how I bring up my children. She had a go at me once for removing my sons consoles as he was naughty said it was like a boot camp haha. I stopped talking to her for 7-8 months because I was so angry. She seems to be better now which is good.

Can you sit down with your family and tell them how you feel or do you think it can't be resolved. It's a horrible situation to be in. Xxx

Thanks you made me smile ! I can relate to the satan bit, my daughters called Lucy and nick name her Lucifer lol, its hard work with parents, they don't realise times change and how you raise children changes too xxx

 

[Dexy]

How is your daughter feeling about it all?

She's very quiet which is unusual for her, think she's just glad they are fetching her home

 

[Hairflair'xo]

This is shocking! My mum used to smack me as a kid and although it didn't do me no harm, it didn't do any good either, I never Learnt my lesson, instead it made me naughtier to get back at her for smacking me! My dad on the other hand would sit me down and explain I'd been naughty and that he was disappointed, this would make me feel awful and I'd be on best behaviour
For him, smacking is definitely not a good punishment in my opinion, you poor thing you must be livid, hope you can work it all out with your family! Xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

Hi Crystal Colleen My niece rang me to tell me she had done it, and that she would do it again if she had too, I can't really repeat what I said to her as it wasn't very lady like! I then rang my daughter straight away to see what had happened, she's no angel but I don't think its for my niece to discipline her, I never once disciplined my brothers as they were growing up I left it to him and his wife .

Bless her little heart.If she told you then it clearly is playing on her mind and has upset her and for your brothers daughter to say she would do it again if she had to that's disgusting and shame on her.

No children are angels mine isn't she's 8 and it's like she's possessed sometimes lol but there are ways of dealing with things.

Atleast she will be home soon and safe.Make you feelings very clear to your family.

I hope everything resolves xxxx

 

[Dexy]

This is shocking! My mum used to smack me as a kid and although it didn't do me no harm, it didn't do any good either, I never Learnt my lesson, instead it made me naughtier to get back at her for smacking me! My dad on the other hand would sit me down and explain I'd been naughty and that he was disappointed, this would make me feel awful and I'd be on best behaviour
For him, smacking is definitely not a good punishment in my opinion, you poor thing you must be livid, hope you can work it all out with your family! Xxx

Thing is I'm not even sure at the moment I want to work things out, I know in a few weeks when things have died down it might be different but at moment its a definite no X

 

[Dexy]

Bless her little heart.If she told you then it clearly is playing on her mind and has upset her and for your brothers daughter to say she would do it again if she had to that's disgusting and shame on her.

No children are angels mine isn't she's 8 and it's like she's possessed sometimes lol but there are ways of dealing with things.

Atleast she will be home soon and safe.Make you feelings very clear to your family.

I hope everything resolves xxxx

Thanks, and I agree with possessed part my daughter does the head bobbing thing sometimes and I tell her she looks like the Churchill dog with his bobbing head or Alicia from Emmerdale lol.
As for my niece, this is from a supposedly educated girl who is going to St Andrews in September, I told her when she has kids of her own she will understand why I am so mad at her, its that age old saying you can choose your friends but not your family Xxxx

 

[ch-ela]

If you chose to bring up your daughter without smacking then your family should respect this.

It's simple really. They either respect this and get to spend time with your children, or they dont and have no unsupervised contact. This might mean that your child misses out on spending time with her family but really!! they should not be disrespecting your wishes in this way.

As an aside, maybe you can make it clear to your niece that in a school, no teacher would be allowed to treat a child like that. There are ways of disciplining a child without raising a hand.

 

[Dexy]

If you chose to bring up your daughter without smacking then your family should respect this.

It's simple really. They either respect this and get to spend time with your children, or they dont and have no unsupervised contact. This might mean that your child misses out on spending time with her family but really!! they should not be disrespecting your wishes in this way.

As an aside, maybe you can make it clear to your niece that in a school, no teacher would be allowed to treat a child like that. There are ways of disciplining a child without raising a hand.

Hi, I like the point about a teacher wouldn't be allowed, and I agree there are better ways, I find loosing things like tv for a night always work, I'm not saying my daughter was ok to strop but smacking isn't the answer xx

 

[waffle4]

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