Becoming over familiar in business

[nickij]

I'm from Dorset, born and bred and although people do say things like 'love', 'Hun' and 'darling' its just something I've never done. I'm by no means posh but its just not something that's in my vocabulary. I kind of see it like calling someone a nickname or pet name in which case I think you have to be pretty close to them for it to be appropriate.

Living in such a nice place there are a lot of people from all over the country who move here (especially to retire) and I have a lot of clients from london, midlands and scotland and they do sometimes call me 'love' or 'darling' etc but its funny now I think of it I'd never say it back to them. My client base is lovely, since I set up 4 and a half years ago I've retained so many loyal clients, we have such a laugh and they are amazingly lovely ladies, but at the end of the day I'm their beauty therapist not their granddaughter, niece or friend.

I don't mind my clients calling me these friendly names but when I am in the clients shoes ie when I go to the hairdressers I don't really like them to be overly familiar to me, I find it a bit awkward but maybe that's just me.

 

[nicolaluise]

I don't care what I get called as long as it's not done aggressively. Every client is different and I adapt to suit each one individually.

I had a good up bringing but I didn't go to private school, my school was totally ****e if I'm honest ... Does that make me a thick bimbo? No I doesn't. I have morals and manners and know how to behave in all situations because my SINGLE mother taught me correctly, she also taught me how to have respect and not patronise others or judge them solely on appearance.

College then taught me how to talk to clients, again a local community college, funded by the government. I mirror my actions with how my clients feel most comfortable.

Education does not have to cost the earth for you to be a good articulate person, manners are free and respect is earned.

So if a client calls me hun I know she feels totally comfortable with me, if anything it's an honour! Would I call her hun back? Maybe or maybe not, depends on the client still.

 

[Mommabear]

You can't do right for doing wrong in here......MY personal opinion is I don't like the words. I do not like my staff calling clients Hun, Babe, Darling etc. End of. If you choose to call your clients by those names good for you, that tells me there is no right or wrong and purely personal preference. I really couldn't care less if you think I'm pretentious or not. However I'd be most upset if my parents spent a lot of money on private education, as you claim, and I used "worser" in a sentance!

Sent from my GT-N7100 using SalonGeek mobile app

Oh im so sorry for my grammatical error! Didnt know that would make me look like a liar. I can give you the address of the school i went to if you would like? Headteachers name? My class teachers name?

 

[Mommabear]

I don't care what I get called as long as it's not done aggressively. Every client is different and I adapt to suit each one individually.

I had a good up bringing but I didn't go to private school, my school was totally ****e if I'm honest ... Does that make me a thick bimbo? No I doesn't. I have morals and manners and know how to behave in all situations because my SINGLE mother taught me correctly, she also taught me how to have respect and not patronise others or judge them solely on appearance.

College then taught me how to talk to clients, again a local community college, funded by the government. I mirror my actions with how my clients feel most comfortable.

Education does not have to cost the earth for you to be a good articulate person, manners are free and respect is earned.

So if a client calls me hun I know she feels totally comfortable with me, if anything it's an honour! Would I call her hun back? Maybe or maybe not, depends on the client still.

I wasnt using me going to private school to make people out as thick, i was pointing out to virtue i went to private school but they dont see me going around saying "well i went to boarding school so this is how it should be"

I say hun chick lovely......which was my point i was private schooled and still say these things but i dont go around using it as an excuse for speaking the way i do.

I went to a normal school after it and to be honest enjoyed it a lotmore.

 

[Mommabear]

Im staying out of this now! Theres always people willing to give as much as they can but cant take it!

Yes i was private schooled but i was merely making a point, not being a snob like some. I went to normal school, loved it, went to a normal college and now im back there again. Like i said i enjoy it more.
If you heard me talk you'd think i was as common as anythin swearing my head off (oh god not to clients though haha)

Bye for now my lovelies

<3

 

[nicolaluise]

I wasnt using me going to private school to make people out as thick, i was pointing out to virtue i went to private school but they dont see me going around saying "well i went to boarding school so this is how it should be"

I say hun chick lovely......which was my point i was private schooled and still say these things but i dont go around using it as an excuse for speaking the way i do.

I went to a normal school after it and to be honest enjoyed it a lotmore.

I'm sorry if you think my post was aimed at you, it absolutely wasn't. I totally understood what you meant, what I was saying is that it shouldn't matter how anyone was schooled (which is exactly what you too are saying?). Xx

 

[izzidoll]

Isn't it ironic that this thread is about our people skills and our ability to 'read' our clients and how we can adapt our style to make them feel comfortable......but we can't seem to manage it whilst posting on here

Obviously it is more difficult to get to know people through their written word but we should still try, then we can adapt how we react and post ourselves.

I am always amazed how people get so defensive on here, and take things so personally on a professional forum.
I have been here since 2004, made over 9,500 posts but have never felt the need to mention my schooling, where I shop, or my parentage.
I wish I could still pick which topics I want to reply to and ignore the ones I don't, but unfortunately now being a Mod I can't.

You all still do have that luxury, use it, or behave the way you do with your least favourite client, grit your teeth, smile, and keep it professional :biggrin:

 

[eternalscot]

This thread is getting a real bitch fest! Jodie marsh went to a private school in Essex could imagine her saying "oh hun" the reason why private school does get a good name for manners as due to selection process of either financial funding, breeding, interested parents and so on can eliminate the majority of the more common and less professional types, which are more prone to speak to professionals with lack of social boundaries and be oblivious to the irritation they cause others with THEIR chosen pet name for you!

If someone calls me Hun, babe, sweetie I think patronising disrespectful air head! It's actually a form of abuse would you speak to a judge, policeman. Head teacher like that? No? Well show me the same respect! This is what goes through my head during this verbal assault from the bimbos street talk! Oh bring the attack from the MY RIGHT to call customers what I fancy brigade!

 

[tonicj]

Is it possible for us to just let people be who they are without being so judgemental? Just because some people speak the way they do doesn't make them bad people. We have the control over ourselves how we choose to speak so let's just live and let live.

 

[Verve Designs]

Is it possible for us to just let people be who they are without being so judgemental? Just because some people speak the way they do doesn't make them bad people. We have the control over ourselves how we choose to speak so let's just live and let live.

Couldn't agree more. A lot of this has been pretty uncomfortable reading to be honest- and I spend most of my time on design forums where truly vile people slag off each others work all day long!

How about people call it a draw?

 

[BelleAmieBeauty]

A lot of different opinions on here.

I personally don't use hun, darling or chick with any of my clients BUT I think it's nice that some people do. As therapists I think it's a great thing that we're all so different and so are our clients.

I believe I can mirror my clients but still maintain my own personality. If they want to call me any of the said nick names it doesn't offend me, I think it's quite sweet.

However when I had a job interview for a beauty salon about 6 months ago the manager called me hun straight away. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable because it made me feel like I'm just another person and they haven't noticed or cared to think about my own unique personality which I think is important at a job interview. All this said I feel better knowing she probably did this to make me feel more at home which is a nice feeling.

I don't think using nick names have any connection with how you were brought up or what school you went to. I grew up on a council estate with everyone around me speaking like a 'chav' but I chose not to. Believe me I can swear my head off but I know how to switch it off and speak to my clients with respect and try not abbreviate my words too much or use any slang.

Basically overall I think we should all be who we are and the right clients will find you. Not everyone is going to like who we are. But there is a perfect therapist out there for everyone

 

[Verve Designs]

I did have a client call me "kn*bhead" once mind you.

I was mortified when I saw it, the email read-

"get a move on kn*bhead!"

I assumed she was talking about a business card I was doing for her, and she wanted it asap.

Turns out she'd emailed me from her phone instead of texting her husband who was stuck in traffic and late for his tea.

that was her story anyway

 

[skingeek78]

You can't please everybody and what works for one might not be suited to another.

As for calling this thread a bitchfest, perhaps winding fellow members up and making derogatory statements about appearance, education and social standing etc..is not the best way to have a sensible and rational debate with other professionals yet again.
But I have personally found some of the comments on here very amusing. The OP had a valid discussion and I thought there have been some excellent points made. However why on earth some members feel the need to antagonise is beyond me! Sometimes it's hard to treat people with the contempt they might be deserving of.

In the words of the wise penguins of Madagascar 'just smile and wave boys, smile and wave'

For the record I treat clients from all different social and cultural backgrounds and frequently use the following terms;
my darling and my lovely in 2 languages. I think if my clients minded they wouldn't keep coming back?

 

[coco.]

At the end of the day, Does it really matter?

 

[eternalscot]

Is it possible for us to just let people be who they are without being so judgemental? Just because some people speak the way they do doesn't make them bad people. We have the control over ourselves how we choose to speak so let's just live and let live.

Totally agree but the question was about a professional constantly calling her client Hun, babe etc. Perhaps we should keep it quiet about social their faux pas, makes more work for the therapists that can control their urges to call clients silly pet names and offend them in the process.

It's clear from this thread a lot of people feel uncomfortable with being called babe, chick, Hun whatever! The definition of manners to make others feel comfortable and over familiar pet names makes few people feel comfortable, using their actual name is social etiquette! As for the if my client comes in speaking like a xxx I do the same NO NEVER bad idea, your not a MP on a press call call trying to get "down with the kids" your a professional could you imagine going into a Porsche showroom, Louis Vuitton, Gucci and them using this tactic? No why? It frankly lowers the tone and is not the right image and as we are in the business of image and not communism that what we should do!

 

[Mommabear]

I'm sorry if you think my post was aimed at you, it absolutely wasn't. I totally understood what you meant, what I was saying is that it shouldn't matter how anyone was schooled (which is exactly what you too are saying?). Xx

I apologise aswell yea exactly what i was saying. It shouldnt matter wether you have boarding/private schooling, people say what they want to say, if you dont like it, express your feelings and be done with it. God if i went round bragging i was in private school for 7years of my life id be called a pompous t**t round by me haha &#128518; xx

 

[Mommabear]

I think it's a tough subject due to hat area your working in as the clientele you have. I personally done use words like "hun, chick doll" ect but a lot of the girls I work with do. It's all in moderation really.

However what I don't like is when I have a clients who refers refer to us as "eh giiiiiirrrrrrrl" (Liverpool accent as you can probably guess)!

Oh dear lord that makes me cringe &#128513;

 

[Sue@Vida]

I agree with Squidgernetball. It is knowing your clients and adapting to the situation.

Being polite, good manners and professionalism goes a long way.

 

[squidgernetball]

You can't please everybody and what works for one might not be suited to another.

As for calling this thread a bitchfest, perhaps winding fellow members up and making derogatory statements about appearance, education and social standing etc..is not the best way to have a sensible and rational debate with other professionals yet again.
But I have personally found some of the comments on here very amusing. The OP had a valid discussion and I thought there have been some excellent points made. However why on earth some members feel the need to antagonise is beyond me! Sometimes it's hard to treat people with the contempt they might be deserving of.

In the words of the wise penguins of Madagascar 'just smile and wave boys, smile and wave'

For the record I treat clients from all different social and cultural backgrounds and frequently use the following terms;
my darling and my lovely in 2 languages. I think if my clients minded they wouldn't keep coming back? View attachment 43970

Hey Victoria, can you tell me 'My Darling' in Italian, then I can really impress my clients with my multi lingual market stall speak!!!
Cheers my darling,
Vicki x

 

[squidgernetball]

Totally agree but the question was about a professional constantly calling her client Hun, babe etc. Perhaps we should keep it quiet about social their faux pas, makes more work for the therapists that can control their urges to call clients silly pet names and offend them in the process.

It's clear from this thread a lot of people feel uncomfortable with being called babe, chick, Hun whatever! The definition of manners to make others feel comfortable and over familiar pet names makes few people feel comfortable, using their actual name is social etiquette! As for the if my client comes in speaking like a xxx I do the same NO NEVER bad idea, your not a MP on a press call call trying to get "down with the kids" your a professional could you imagine going into a Porsche showroom, Louis Vuitton, Gucci and them using this tactic? No why? It frankly lowers the tone and is not the right image and as we are in the business of image and not communism that what we should do!

But I would not be having my noony waxed in these places. I think there is a place for everything, and if I choose to console a nervous client with 'Don't worry my darling, I'll be gentle with you' then that is my choice. I'm not selling her an expensive car.

I don't feel the need to justify how I work - it is just how I work. I don't need to write on here about my education or how rich my clients are, and I'm certainly not trying to 'get down with the kids', this is just me.

Obviously such terms are not for you!