bf's job opportunity vs me!

[nicjill]

Ok geeks, this may be more to vent whats been going on in my head for the past couple of days, but I'd like some opinions.

My bf has got the opportunity to apply for the job of his dreams, with the company he's always wanted to work for. Problem is, the job would involve us moving over to the states (North Carolina). Now I'm not completely against this, we've discussed it as a possibility before, never actually expecting the opportunity to come up. The problem is, he has NO ties over here but I have loads. It would involve me giving up my salon, leaving my family behind (my mum isn't in good health and I have a 4 year old brother), giving up the college course that I haven't even started yet and basically putting my life on hold to advance his career. I think that for me to go over it would have to be on his visa so I don't think I would be entitled to work. I know he would be earning enough money to support both of us and the area is meant to be lovely BUT I don't think I'm cut out to be a housewife! I'd hate to just be a financial drain. If I could work I'd have to retrain anyway or take an unskilled position so I'd be taking a major step backwards after having my own salon & staff.

Now, I've said go for it, apply & see what happens. Chances are that nothing will come of it. I figure I can't really say ignore the chance as I know he'd regret it but what if he actually gets the job?? Serious discussion time!

What I wanna know is, does anyone know if I'd be allowed to work if I went over on my bf's visa or if I could apply for my own (I've heard its really hard to get a working visa if you don't already have a job offer). Also, if I am allowed to work, are there any geeks in the area who know the training I'd need to do before I could do nails there? And how difficult would it be for me to find a job?

I'd love to give it a go for 6/12 months, maybe even a couple of years but not permanently. Do you think I'm doing the right thing to encourage him, knowing that I'd eventually want to come home if we went? I know that given time, he would be earning far more than we currently earn between us and we could have a great standard of living there so he is thinking of both of us. I'm feeling a bit selfish for holding him back but I would give up so much. What do you think? Am I being selfish?

 

[Rose143]

Hi Honey,

I did this 4 years ago for my boyfriend and I have never looked back!!

I wasn't too close to my family but I miss my sister everyday and phone them once a month.

I had a woking holiday visa for two years and his compnay put me on his work permit when that expired, I was still allowed to work and I've even opened my own salon. I won't lie, it's been very hard work but Ronald is so much better paid now, quality of life is better and none of our family interfere. I felt my family held me back and yes I had a lot to give up including a home salon but 4 yrs down the line and we are still so happy!

How much do you love him? If you love each other enough, any path will work for you provided you work together as a team.

I'm worried as there might be a chance we'll move to the states and i love england!

Hope this helps!

xxxx

 

[maguire]

Hi I have lived in a lot of countries Australia, South Africa and many more,
my ex husband is in the building trade and followed the money, and of course I followed my husband, I don't regret one part of it, I use to miss family and freinds but I use to ring them regulary and with the internet you could get the web cam. 1-2yrs is not a long time and America should have eccelent training for you then you could set up a home salon. I would go if it was me, and your only a few hours away from home should you need to come back, I would look at it as a great oppertunity and adventure. Good luck in what you decide :hug:

 

[Bagpuss]

I'm not much help at all sorry but i do believe in fate...if its meant to be then it will be xxxx

 

[adelekeegan1]

I passed up just such an opportunity, to go to Australia, with my then boyfriend when I was 18. We both stayed in the end.

I'd sell my soul to turn back the clock, I never got another chance and wish I'd gone. I may not have stayed for ever, but it would have been a great experience.

 

[nicjill]

Thanks for the advice geeks. As I said, it may not reach the point of a job offer, its just application/interview stage. Just didn't want to encourage him to go through all that if I wasn't prepared to go if anything does come of it. I think I'd be happy to go, the only thing really holding me back is my family. My mum went through chemo last year for breast cancer. She finally got the all clear for that, now she's had some scan results back which look bad so I'm worried about leaving her. Hopefully everything will turn out ok but I'd hate to 'abandon' her if things went bad, we are really close.

On a more positive note, does anybody know anything about the area?

 

[fozzyo]

My first boss left to move to the States. On his Visa he was able to work, but his wife wasn't but she was able to start her own business - by doing this you are seen as not taking a job from a US Citizen and hopefully are creating jobs. So you could look at working mobile / from home initially.

As for training and qualifications you need to research this. I know they are much stricter in the states, for example for a massage therapist you need to do a recognised course in most states that has 500 hours classroom time minimum, some states its 1,500! For beauty therapists they are usually qualified Cosmetologist. The requirements vary by state - you'll need to research this for NC. So to do Nails etc you may need to go to a Cosmetology College to qualify to work there.

 

[melissaq]

hope this helps.....this is the requirements and some other info


http://www.nailsmag.com/pdfs/handouts/NAStateBoardDir.pdf

scroll down to the State you want......

 

[becca boo]

What a wonderful oppertunity. My sister in law came to America from Australia she was doing NY fashion week and some make up artist stuff in LA. Her brother lived in Hollywood but everyone else in the family aer in Australia or New Zealand. My brother would work in Lake Tahoe every winter somehow she ended up being his next door neighbor. Mieke had NO plans to stay in America but instead she fell in love and has never looked back. She is an amazing person brought her culture to our family owns two buisness and now has 2 children. When she first came to Oregon her work visa was expired but somehow she was able to be a personal nanny and lived an earning that way until she could get a job here. They have web cam so her father sees his grandkids growing up and doesnt miss anything. You never know what may be in NC and how are you giving anything up if you end up with so much more.

As far as working we go by hours each state varies in the hours that are required some you can select just one or two feilds others you have to do all three (hair nails esthetics). You would have to go back to school unless there is anyway to transfer hours. There should be a website for there state licenseing agency you could email them and get more info.

It takes more courage to take a chance than to stay were its confy. If your concerned about your mom talk with her. Im sure she would not want you to fret over her and do what makes you happy. Im sure she would not feel abandoned but proud that you did this and not want to hold you back and be the reason you stay.

Do what you know is right dont try to think to much and talk yourself out of it with all the what ifs those will always be there.

Good luck

 

[Susie H]

I was an ex pat for many years and loved every minute of it, I have had many peeps ask me if they should move / take the job etc and my answer is always the same.
When you are old and gray, do you want to be sat in a chair by the fire staring into the flames wishing you had done this and that or do you want to be sat with your photo album remembering all the great things you have done.
Well I have a packing box full of photo's and I'm not done yet:lol: