Phone the number, itwill put your mind at rest, she probably doesnt even know you exist? You'll constantly be running over different scenarios in your head otherwise. When I done the same thing, the minute I heard her voice, it confirmed to me we were finished and the anger helped me to put him in his place
Cheating Partner - what would you do ?
- Thread starter River
- Start date
Help Support SalonGeek:
Christine G
Well-Known Member
Could always change the locks for when he comes home!!River said:
No seriously, I think you know what you have to do, it can be very daunting, but I left my ex after 18 years in the clothes I stood in, three garden tubs, chest of drawers and a portable television. I left him with insurance policies and assests up to nearly half a million.
It was one of the best things I ever did, money didnt matter, though I did sometimes wonder how I would cope, but when you have to, you do.,,, that's the female survival mode kicking in. I found a place to rent in the short term, and eventually managed to get the house I'm in now.
Must add, my ex is penniless, has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, remarried on the rebound and that has gone sour,,,,and he's ended up one sad and lonely man,,,,,,,,,,,on the other side, I'm going from strenght to strength and have never been happier.
Don't settle for second best,you deserve the best for yourself,,,,,,,you don't need a man to be successfull, if you find one though, it's a bonus,,,,I found a fantastic one when it was the farthest thing from my mind.,,and he's just gorgeous in every way.
Life has it's own way of working out for us all,,,trust your instincts and your gut feeling and go with them.
Things will work out for you, it will be tuff at times, but stay positive, it will be worth it.
Christine
I've nothing to add to all the good advice you have been receiving here, but just wanted to send you some hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: as it seems you could do with lots of these right now.
kateyork1
CND Grand Master Geek!!!
Noodle said:
That's about all I can say too, I think if it was me I would leave but none of us know until we're in that situation. I think if you still love someone that makes it very hard to leave. If you don't love him anymore then don't stay for finacial reasons - clear out the joint account and then leave. But don't rush into anything as you don't want to lose out financially in the long run.
Take care babes and remember we're all here for you if you need us. xx :hug:
Sara Satchell
Well-Known Member
Trinity Nails said:
Mine did XX PM me if you'd like to chat X
clairelee69
Well-Known Member
PM me if you would chat too
donna-louise
Well-Known Member
Hi River
I know what you are going through. My ex put me through mental torture and everyone said leave him but I could'nt do it. I did not stay with him for the financial side of things but because of my kids (yes i know you should'nt stay because you have kids together) but I found it really difficult. I eventually took the plunge after anti-depressants and psychiatric help and am now very happy with a man i adore and three extremely happy kids. At the end of the day only you can decide what you want to do and hopefully you will chose the road where things can only get better.
Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs
Donna
I know what you are going through. My ex put me through mental torture and everyone said leave him but I could'nt do it. I did not stay with him for the financial side of things but because of my kids (yes i know you should'nt stay because you have kids together) but I found it really difficult. I eventually took the plunge after anti-depressants and psychiatric help and am now very happy with a man i adore and three extremely happy kids. At the end of the day only you can decide what you want to do and hopefully you will chose the road where things can only get better.
Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs
Donna
Nailsinlondon1
Well-Known Member
Well its a toughie that one, because every body will deal with this differently or they think they know how they would deal with it......
My Ex hubby cheated on me very early on in our marriage, I was young, 17 when I married what I thought was the man of my dreams and had a 11 month old baby to think about by the time I was 19.......... when I confronted him , he promised to be a good boy and never to do this sort of thing again....well I trusted him and thought it was worth giving it all another go........ then when I was pregnant with my daughter he was up to it again, this time being pregnant, having a 3 year old as well and being in a foreign country for only a short while, put me in a position where I honestly thought I needed him....he was very clever at making me think that without him I would be nothing.......... so to cut a long and sad story short, after a lot of heart searching and a few more girlie's a long the way and a lot of other crappy stuff, I waited till my daughter was 14 and my son 18 till I finally had enough.......I sat my children down and talked to them about the choices i had and as he wasn't going to go, I decided it was up to me to put an end to this sorry sham..............
I packed my stuff, 2 suitcases, 3 bin bags, my PC and upt sticks........I had a little mobile nail round, worked part time in a petrol station, so there was no money for rent........I moved in with my best friend and worked my socks off..you name a job and I did it..few months down the line, rented a little grotty bedsit that I could afford............ and I have never looked back...............Now I am married to my soul mate, have a fab business and have never been happier.....and the best thing is, I have done it myself for myself.....The one thing I now know, is that I don't need a man to be who I want to be........... but now I have a man that lets me be, who I want to be and supports me all the way....now thats what I call love.....
Should I have done this sooner, who knows???? All I can say is, you will do the right thing for you when the time is right............ but I wish you all the best for the future in what ever you decide..........
My Ex hubby cheated on me very early on in our marriage, I was young, 17 when I married what I thought was the man of my dreams and had a 11 month old baby to think about by the time I was 19.......... when I confronted him , he promised to be a good boy and never to do this sort of thing again....well I trusted him and thought it was worth giving it all another go........ then when I was pregnant with my daughter he was up to it again, this time being pregnant, having a 3 year old as well and being in a foreign country for only a short while, put me in a position where I honestly thought I needed him....he was very clever at making me think that without him I would be nothing.......... so to cut a long and sad story short, after a lot of heart searching and a few more girlie's a long the way and a lot of other crappy stuff, I waited till my daughter was 14 and my son 18 till I finally had enough.......I sat my children down and talked to them about the choices i had and as he wasn't going to go, I decided it was up to me to put an end to this sorry sham..............
I packed my stuff, 2 suitcases, 3 bin bags, my PC and upt sticks........I had a little mobile nail round, worked part time in a petrol station, so there was no money for rent........I moved in with my best friend and worked my socks off..you name a job and I did it..few months down the line, rented a little grotty bedsit that I could afford............ and I have never looked back...............Now I am married to my soul mate, have a fab business and have never been happier.....and the best thing is, I have done it myself for myself.....The one thing I now know, is that I don't need a man to be who I want to be........... but now I have a man that lets me be, who I want to be and supports me all the way....now thats what I call love.....
Should I have done this sooner, who knows???? All I can say is, you will do the right thing for you when the time is right............ but I wish you all the best for the future in what ever you decide..........
ladybgemini
Well-Known Member
Hi there, :hug:
I'm sorry to hear what has happened, I just thought i'd let you know that it can and will get better - if you go.
Get the proper advice before leaving your home, you are entitled to be there too. You are also entitled to half that house and any assets, if you can prove adultry you can get more (i think)
My ex cheated on me for 4 years with a girl who was 15 when it started, she was my mate and her boyfriend was my ex hubby's apprentice and we all worked together.
I got the feeling that something wasnt right and confronted him, it took a couple of weeks to get to the bottom of it but I found out that he had been having a threesome with the pair of them in my house while i was out working evening to earn extra cash!!! It also turned out he had been taking her out for 4 years and her boyfriend didn't know.
I had a very good friend online that i turned to which was a great help and made me see what I had to do and I bit the bullet, asked him for my half of the money from the house, which he gave me after I threatened naming all of them to the solicitor.
I gave up my job as we all worked together and I moved out and found a cheap house to rent. I kicked him out the house and told him when I got my money I would leave and he could have it.
I signed my divorce papers on my first wedding anniversary!!! I was waiting at the solicitors door at 9am.
Now I'm married (to my friend from the internet) with a fantastic daughter and doing nails
You have to stay strong, you have to be bloody minded, even if it's not your nature. You have done nothing wrong even though he may try and blame it all on you - remember this.
You will come through it and you will be happy again, but remember to get what your entitled to.
Revenge is a dish best served cold and I got mine last Christmas, 2 years after the divorce when he refused to take my name off the mortgage so when he came to sell it I wouldn't sign until he paid me half the equity which he had to do so I was £13,000 better off and able to start my own mobile nail tech business, so I thank him for this and laugh when I think how sick he must have felt when he realised he picked a fight with the wrong girl.
Rachel
BE STRONG xxx
I'm sorry to hear what has happened, I just thought i'd let you know that it can and will get better - if you go.
Get the proper advice before leaving your home, you are entitled to be there too. You are also entitled to half that house and any assets, if you can prove adultry you can get more (i think)
My ex cheated on me for 4 years with a girl who was 15 when it started, she was my mate and her boyfriend was my ex hubby's apprentice and we all worked together.
I got the feeling that something wasnt right and confronted him, it took a couple of weeks to get to the bottom of it but I found out that he had been having a threesome with the pair of them in my house while i was out working evening to earn extra cash!!! It also turned out he had been taking her out for 4 years and her boyfriend didn't know.
I had a very good friend online that i turned to which was a great help and made me see what I had to do and I bit the bullet, asked him for my half of the money from the house, which he gave me after I threatened naming all of them to the solicitor.
I gave up my job as we all worked together and I moved out and found a cheap house to rent. I kicked him out the house and told him when I got my money I would leave and he could have it.
I signed my divorce papers on my first wedding anniversary!!! I was waiting at the solicitors door at 9am.
Now I'm married (to my friend from the internet) with a fantastic daughter and doing nails
You have to stay strong, you have to be bloody minded, even if it's not your nature. You have done nothing wrong even though he may try and blame it all on you - remember this.
You will come through it and you will be happy again, but remember to get what your entitled to.
Revenge is a dish best served cold and I got mine last Christmas, 2 years after the divorce when he refused to take my name off the mortgage so when he came to sell it I wouldn't sign until he paid me half the equity which he had to do so I was £13,000 better off and able to start my own mobile nail tech business, so I thank him for this and laugh when I think how sick he must have felt when he realised he picked a fight with the wrong girl.
Rachel
BE STRONG xxx
River
Well-Known Member
Hi Everyone,
I am totally overwhelmed by all your responses and support ! Thank you ever so much.
To respond to a couple of your suggestions:
* When he cheated on me the first time, I went to go see a solicitor to find out what my rights are and I had loads of evidence of his infidility !. The solicitor said it was common misconception that women think that they are classed as "Common Law Wifes" when they have lived with a partner, shared bills, contributed to the house and even the mortgage and that they are entitled to half the house etc. Unless a legal contract has been drawn up between the two parties, you have no right. I thought the solicitor might be talking out of her bum and went to go see another one (both of whom I paid for the privelage by the way) who told me exactly the same thing. They are trying to change the law at the moment, but as things stand, you don't have much right over anything.
* Which brings me to my second point. When we bought our house 3 years ago, I made him draw up a "Declaration of Trust" with a solicitor
which entitles me to 15% of the house. This is a legally binding contract and there is no way he can get out of it. However, the money is calculated as follows: he paid a £60,000 pound deposit (profit he made from his previous property) to which I have no right. So, the house would be valued, the remainder of the mortgage would be deducted, then the £60,000 and whatever is left I'm entitled to 15%. Having done some rough calculations last night, I would probably only get £5000.
* He pays the majority of the money into the joint account for all the bills, mortgage etc and I only contribute £250 a month. So, if I where to take money out of the account, I would technically be stealing his money. It's not really something that I want to get into, because I think it could get really nasty.
I had a look through the "rooms to rent" web site yesterday and there are some rooms that I could afford (only just), but all the places won't accept pets. I've got 2 cats and there is no way that I will leave them with him - not that he would hurt them or anything, he loves them dearly, but just simply because they are my babies and they are coming with me. I know I could speak to some of these people and see if they could be confinced otherwise, but they do seem quite adamant.
The size of the "cheaper" rooms that I can afford aren't very big either. I've got quite a few possessions plus all my nail stuff and I looked at these rooms and almost started to cry. I would just about be able to fit all my things in and have no space for a bed or wardrobe.
I am really scared and don't know how to get around it. I know he is bad for me and I know that he will just keep cheating on me, and I know that he will continue to treat me like dirt, but yet I just can't let go (not yet in anyway). Heart wise I don't feel much for him anymore, but mentally I go as cold as ice when I think about what my life would be like without him. I know it sounds crazy, I want to leave, but I don't know how !!! What power does this man have over me that I cant just pack my bags and say "Stuff you, I'm going" ??
He has really destroyed myself worth for me. I had this crazy thought that came across my mind last night - I'm 28 and getting old, nobody is going to want me. I've picked up 25kg in weight over the past 7 years and look awful, nobody would even look twice at me. I'm tired, and I've just wasted 7 years of my life and don't have the energy of going through meeting someone else again. I'm scared of being alone ! And these thoughts just went round and round and ended up not getting much sleep again.
River
I am totally overwhelmed by all your responses and support ! Thank you ever so much.
To respond to a couple of your suggestions:
* When he cheated on me the first time, I went to go see a solicitor to find out what my rights are and I had loads of evidence of his infidility !. The solicitor said it was common misconception that women think that they are classed as "Common Law Wifes" when they have lived with a partner, shared bills, contributed to the house and even the mortgage and that they are entitled to half the house etc. Unless a legal contract has been drawn up between the two parties, you have no right. I thought the solicitor might be talking out of her bum and went to go see another one (both of whom I paid for the privelage by the way) who told me exactly the same thing. They are trying to change the law at the moment, but as things stand, you don't have much right over anything.
* Which brings me to my second point. When we bought our house 3 years ago, I made him draw up a "Declaration of Trust" with a solicitor
which entitles me to 15% of the house. This is a legally binding contract and there is no way he can get out of it. However, the money is calculated as follows: he paid a £60,000 pound deposit (profit he made from his previous property) to which I have no right. So, the house would be valued, the remainder of the mortgage would be deducted, then the £60,000 and whatever is left I'm entitled to 15%. Having done some rough calculations last night, I would probably only get £5000.
* He pays the majority of the money into the joint account for all the bills, mortgage etc and I only contribute £250 a month. So, if I where to take money out of the account, I would technically be stealing his money. It's not really something that I want to get into, because I think it could get really nasty.
I had a look through the "rooms to rent" web site yesterday and there are some rooms that I could afford (only just), but all the places won't accept pets. I've got 2 cats and there is no way that I will leave them with him - not that he would hurt them or anything, he loves them dearly, but just simply because they are my babies and they are coming with me. I know I could speak to some of these people and see if they could be confinced otherwise, but they do seem quite adamant.
The size of the "cheaper" rooms that I can afford aren't very big either. I've got quite a few possessions plus all my nail stuff and I looked at these rooms and almost started to cry. I would just about be able to fit all my things in and have no space for a bed or wardrobe.
I am really scared and don't know how to get around it. I know he is bad for me and I know that he will just keep cheating on me, and I know that he will continue to treat me like dirt, but yet I just can't let go (not yet in anyway). Heart wise I don't feel much for him anymore, but mentally I go as cold as ice when I think about what my life would be like without him. I know it sounds crazy, I want to leave, but I don't know how !!! What power does this man have over me that I cant just pack my bags and say "Stuff you, I'm going" ??
He has really destroyed myself worth for me. I had this crazy thought that came across my mind last night - I'm 28 and getting old, nobody is going to want me. I've picked up 25kg in weight over the past 7 years and look awful, nobody would even look twice at me. I'm tired, and I've just wasted 7 years of my life and don't have the energy of going through meeting someone else again. I'm scared of being alone ! And these thoughts just went round and round and ended up not getting much sleep again.
River
scattyfox
Well-Known Member
Nailsinlondon1 said:
How true is that
x
River said:
Right, I'm going to give it to you straight now..........sounds like you're not ready to leave yet. That's OK, it will happen, but only when you are ready to go. Something will happen one day and this feelling of complete control will come over you and you will just go. It sounds odd but I'm sure all of us who have left a bad situation will agree. Friends, family, geeks, whoever, can make suggestions, encourage you, support you, but ultimately you won't leave until you want to, and now is not your time.
I knew I should have left my ex's who were knocking me around and cheating on me, but I kept staying, my friends were going crazy at me covered in bruises and stitches. My house was smashed to bits, the brakes on my car tampered with, 20 6" nails under the tyres of my car, annonymous phone calls all hours of the night, but I still stayed, I wasn't ready to give up, couldn't imagine I'd pick such low life scum who would treat someone like this, that if I stay strong it would sort itself out, that he would realise I loved him and stop doing such horrible things, if I just love him a bit more he'll be ok, who's going to want me if he doesn't, I'm so ugly, etc., so I do know how you feel.
When you're ready to go, then none of the things you have mentioned will matter - it sounds harsh but it is true.
We're all here to listen and send you hugs whatever you decide to do - your geek mates are behind you :hug:
Trin
xx
River
Well-Known Member
Hi Trin,
Why am I not ready to leave ? After everything he's done to me, why can't I just walk away ?
I know he's not going to change, I know he'll just keep treating me like I'm a piece of dirt, I get sick thinking about what he's done, so why can't I do it !!!????
Why am I not ready to leave ? After everything he's done to me, why can't I just walk away ?
I know he's not going to change, I know he'll just keep treating me like I'm a piece of dirt, I get sick thinking about what he's done, so why can't I do it !!!????
River said:Hi Trin,
Why am I not ready to leave ? After everything he's done to me, why can't I just walk away ?
I know he's not going to change, I know he'll just keep treating me like I'm a piece of dirt, I get sick thinking about what he's done, so why can't I do it !!!????
I think its because its scary !! you'll be going out to the unknown...but the beauty of that is that the unknown can be exciting and for the better.
Think of it this way...nothing can be worse than how you feel now...sure money may be tight...life will be different...but a better kind of different.
If what you want to do is impossible then how do thousands of women do it all the time...and succeed in having a great live for doing it....you can do it...you just have to decide if its him you are staying for or the convenience...if its the latter then..you should leave and create your own security.
Also having your wages paid into another bank account isn't stealing from him...they are your wages.
You deserve so much more ... i so wish there was something i could do...feel kind of helpless here. xx
River said:Hi Trin,
Why am I not ready to leave ? After everything he's done to me, why can't I just walk away ?
I know he's not going to change, I know he'll just keep treating me like I'm a piece of dirt, I get sick thinking about what he's done, so why can't I do it !!!????
:hug: Oh sweetheart my heart breaks for you :hug:
I can't explain it, but trust me, it will happen, one day you'll just get this moment of total clarity and that will be it. Suddenly all the hard decisions, the what if, the panic, and the fear just disappear, and you're so strong nothing can stop you.
It will happen in a flash and the next thing you'll know it will be done - everything will fall in to place, you will find somewhere new to live, you wont fall apart and you will wonder why it took you so long.
But until you get there it wont happen - trust yourself, you are so much stronger than you know. Who has the signature quote 'a woman is like a teabag, you don't know how strong she is until you drop her in hot water' - I've never read a truer word
T
xx
Billie
Well-Known Member
Just a thought but why should you leave?
When he goes to Scotland tell him he cant come back and get your mates that are going through the same thing to move in.
Its your house as well
I had a flat years ago with an ex who cheated and upped and left
The mortgage people were so sympathetic and let me not pay any mortgage for a couple of months as it could be tagged on the end of the 25 years etc
Anyway I ended up handing back the keys to be a repossession and the mortgage people assessed the debt and that I would be only accountable to half as it was a joint mortgage. I was accountable for all the bills in my name but again after ringing each one I could sort something out
It was a £22K debt and I was accountable to £11K but because I was upfront and told them I couldnt afford it cos I had a baby then they said make it £3k
I paid off £50 a month until it was clear
Basically what I am saying is that if you approach the banks etc they are very helpful and my ex still has a £22k debt handing over his head
Get him out girl !!!
Billie xx
When he goes to Scotland tell him he cant come back and get your mates that are going through the same thing to move in.
Its your house as well
I had a flat years ago with an ex who cheated and upped and left
The mortgage people were so sympathetic and let me not pay any mortgage for a couple of months as it could be tagged on the end of the 25 years etc
Anyway I ended up handing back the keys to be a repossession and the mortgage people assessed the debt and that I would be only accountable to half as it was a joint mortgage. I was accountable for all the bills in my name but again after ringing each one I could sort something out
It was a £22K debt and I was accountable to £11K but because I was upfront and told them I couldnt afford it cos I had a baby then they said make it £3k
I paid off £50 a month until it was clear
Basically what I am saying is that if you approach the banks etc they are very helpful and my ex still has a £22k debt handing over his head
Get him out girl !!!
Billie xx
River
Well-Known Member
God I hope you're right Trin! I'm sort of thinking that there must be something wrong with me that I haven't already packed my bags and moved to the nearest bus shelter.
Angie, the joint account is purely for the bills etc. We both have seperate bank accounts that our salaries get paid into and then we also have the joint account that we each pay a fixed amount into each month. Hence, we are not actually touching each others money - we pay into the joint account as all our bills, mortgage payments etc is deducted automatically out of this account and it's just an easier way of controlling it.
Angie, the joint account is purely for the bills etc. We both have seperate bank accounts that our salaries get paid into and then we also have the joint account that we each pay a fixed amount into each month. Hence, we are not actually touching each others money - we pay into the joint account as all our bills, mortgage payments etc is deducted automatically out of this account and it's just an easier way of controlling it.
River
Well-Known Member
Hi Billie,
Unfortunately, the mortgage is in his name and therefore the house "belongs" to him.
I do have a financial stake in the property by the "Declaration of Trust" that was drawn up, but that's about as far as my claim goes. At the end of the day, I would be classed as a "lodger" and if I tried to do something like that, he could have me removed !
If I wanted the house, I would have to buy him out and believe me, I don't have that sort of money. In anyway, he wouldn't sell to me even if I did.
Unfortunately, the mortgage is in his name and therefore the house "belongs" to him.
I do have a financial stake in the property by the "Declaration of Trust" that was drawn up, but that's about as far as my claim goes. At the end of the day, I would be classed as a "lodger" and if I tried to do something like that, he could have me removed !
If I wanted the house, I would have to buy him out and believe me, I don't have that sort of money. In anyway, he wouldn't sell to me even if I did.
Ameliasdragon
Active Member
Even after walking out on my ex (after a cracked rib-while pregnant, his affairs and all the other crap) there are still nights nearly 5 years on when I think that perhaps, if I had stayed, that everything would be ok!
And for who knows how long had I been thinking I should leave this relationship - but couldn't actually do it! However, over one weekend, and to this day I don't know what triggered it, I decided that I just had to go! Once my mind was made up - my 6month old daughter and I were off like a shot.
I only took mine and little ones clothes and a few personal & baby bits - I left everything behind! I went back to my mum & dads, before sitting to work out how the hell I was going to support myself and my daughter. Because my name was still on the mortgage, and i was still paying my share and well as some of the bills, I wasn't entitled to anything. When we sold the house, we lost a large amount of money due to a number of reasons - and I had to take out a considerable personnal loan to cover my share of the debt we were left with. Even now, althought I get my tax credits most of my monthly salary has to go on paying old bills! I may not lead the high life, have a flash new car, take 2 holidays abroard a year, etc, etc that I know my ex has - but I am happy and so is my daughter!
Be strong - a wait for the right time - it will come!
Good Luck!
And for who knows how long had I been thinking I should leave this relationship - but couldn't actually do it! However, over one weekend, and to this day I don't know what triggered it, I decided that I just had to go! Once my mind was made up - my 6month old daughter and I were off like a shot.
I only took mine and little ones clothes and a few personal & baby bits - I left everything behind! I went back to my mum & dads, before sitting to work out how the hell I was going to support myself and my daughter. Because my name was still on the mortgage, and i was still paying my share and well as some of the bills, I wasn't entitled to anything. When we sold the house, we lost a large amount of money due to a number of reasons - and I had to take out a considerable personnal loan to cover my share of the debt we were left with. Even now, althought I get my tax credits most of my monthly salary has to go on paying old bills! I may not lead the high life, have a flash new car, take 2 holidays abroard a year, etc, etc that I know my ex has - but I am happy and so is my daughter!
Be strong - a wait for the right time - it will come!
Good Luck!
chandasnailz
Active Member
HI LADIES ( & GENTS)
Do we not realize what we have in our hands. Ladies we have a talent that no one can possibly take from us. There are so many of us that make more than our husbands and do not know it. Now I occupy my time with my children and nailz and I know that I made more than him. But ladies we need to have alife of our oen instead of making these men our lives. They do not want that. Usually if a woman is out going and strong in the beginning of a relationship that is what they fall in love with. Then we give them total control of the situation and then we are stuck. LADIES FIND YOUR OWN WAY. HAVE A SUBSTANTIAL INCOMEOF YOUR OWN. AND USE YOUR TALENTS TO THE FULLEST. That bull about I wanted to stay home with the kids and take care of them is a bunch of rubbish. Kids are healthier if they are in a home where the parents shared 50-50. That wAy they will know later. Especiallly our young women,. What are we showing them but to depend on a man later. I know this is long but it is true. WOMEN DEPEND TOO MUCH ON MEN. I am not telling you to cheat. But by God put some fire undr his A** and make him piss or get off the pot. Make him know what you are feeling. And trust me you do not have to cheat to do that. Show your independence and he will think that someone else is in the picture and if he does not show any concern, you need to get out of that no matter what your finances are because you are dealing with someone that do not care for you Feelings. I am sorry this is soooo long, but that hit a nerve and I hate to hear women say that they are in it because of finances. We are in a business that will not die even if there were poverty. Women are going to gte their hair and nails done. You seem like you can use some pampering yourself. Treat yourself to a day of beauty. You will feel sooooo much better like the women you make beautiful everyday. I wish you the best.
Chanda
Do we not realize what we have in our hands. Ladies we have a talent that no one can possibly take from us. There are so many of us that make more than our husbands and do not know it. Now I occupy my time with my children and nailz and I know that I made more than him. But ladies we need to have alife of our oen instead of making these men our lives. They do not want that. Usually if a woman is out going and strong in the beginning of a relationship that is what they fall in love with. Then we give them total control of the situation and then we are stuck. LADIES FIND YOUR OWN WAY. HAVE A SUBSTANTIAL INCOMEOF YOUR OWN. AND USE YOUR TALENTS TO THE FULLEST. That bull about I wanted to stay home with the kids and take care of them is a bunch of rubbish. Kids are healthier if they are in a home where the parents shared 50-50. That wAy they will know later. Especiallly our young women,. What are we showing them but to depend on a man later. I know this is long but it is true. WOMEN DEPEND TOO MUCH ON MEN. I am not telling you to cheat. But by God put some fire undr his A** and make him piss or get off the pot. Make him know what you are feeling. And trust me you do not have to cheat to do that. Show your independence and he will think that someone else is in the picture and if he does not show any concern, you need to get out of that no matter what your finances are because you are dealing with someone that do not care for you Feelings. I am sorry this is soooo long, but that hit a nerve and I hate to hear women say that they are in it because of finances. We are in a business that will not die even if there were poverty. Women are going to gte their hair and nails done. You seem like you can use some pampering yourself. Treat yourself to a day of beauty. You will feel sooooo much better like the women you make beautiful everyday. I wish you the best.
Chanda
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