Couples therapy?

[Jocie]

Hi all,

As of late my marrige has been really strained. Fertility issues, family problems a lot of hurt feelings that get brought up over and over again.

I'm making the appointment tomorrow. Have any of you went to couples theraphy before? Did it help? Was there any issues after the sessions because of things that had been brought up?

Thanks guys xoxo

 

[deanosnana]

I personally feel couples therapy will work if BOTH parties want it to work.

Have you talked to your husband? Does he feel the same as you re: the issues you mention?

 

[endless]

Hi
I'm sorry to hear your having these problems
I had the same with my now ex

As deanosnana said both parties have to want it to work, my husband had no intentions of even trying it.
We were the same with bringing up the past etc
I now look back and realise we had real resentment for each other, that probably could never of been resolved

I hope he's willing to give it a go, and hope you're ok : )
Xx

 

[boobaloo]

Yes we have and it was the best thing we ever did. We communicated much better, didn't keep blaming each other and worked through the issues. We had a very good counsellor. I agree with both wanting it to work but the therapist you have makes a big difference too, we were lucky.

Good luck x




lucky

 

[Macoroni]

Have had couples therapy and can only say its been great ! We came out closer more communication found out few things I didn't know it has been really good .

 

[Jocie]

Thanks guys. He says he will try it once to see what its like. We are at the point were something needs to be done.

 

[waffle4]

Be very careful. You BOTH need to go into it giving it your best shot. A few of my friends tried it and I have to say it actually made things worse. The hubby was resentful as didn't want to be there then they would come out and row over things that were said in the sessions as you're bringing things up again that should sometimes be best left to lie. Sorry I haven't had a positive reply for you but I think you should consider very carefully if its the best thing for you BOTH. Everyone I know who's tried it has split up. I hope it does work for you x

 

[Glitter_fairy]

Any ideas on how to find a good therapist? Everyone I know who has used relate said they were rubbish

 

[Macoroni]

Yes relate are not the best it is a tricky one are you in leamington which is Warwickshire ? Have you any clients or friends who have used one ? It is personal preference too I found an amazing therapist for relationship work through sex therapy search as they tend to be more experienced x

 

[Glitter_fairy]

Yes relate are not the best it is a tricky one are you in leamington which is Warwickshire ? Have you any clients or friends who have used one ? It is personal preference too I found an amazing therapist for relationship work through sex therapy search as they tend to be more experienced x

Yes I'm in leamington, no don't know any one who has used one locally x

 

[waffle4]

Think my mate got her one through the local doctors surgery had some numbers and recommendations x

 

[Jocie]

So we have spent some time apart and we are gonna defanitly going to the theraphy. We want to work it out, we love each other and don't want to be with anybody else. I think sometimes when there are big issues you forget how to communicate because your distracted. We have had a eally rough year and I no that I definitely don't want to be divorced at 23.

 

[tonicj]

So we have spent some time apart and we are gonna defanitly going to the theraphy. We want to work it out, we love each other and don't want to be with anybody else. I think sometimes when there are big issues you forget how to communicate because your distracted. We have had a eally rough year and I no that I definitely don't want to be divorced at 23.

WANTING you're relationship to work means there is hope! There will always be issues both major and minor to deal with in any relationship and it's at these times that team work should come into play. Addressing issues is the important thing here and the fact that you both recognise that there are indeed issues is a good thing. LISTENING to each other is also a major step to recovery. Neither you nor you're husband should be afraid to bring anything up in a conversation in the fear of anger setting in from the other person. You should say to yourself that if you are both completely honest with you're feelings then there could well be a good and honest outcome. If on the other hand some things are kept buried then again there may not be the same honest outcome as these same old things will return time and time again. Sit down together, mobile phones off etc and have a good talk about the important issues and then decide if further counselling is needed and remember you're marriage is never over until you have tried everything xx.