Daughter started nursery and I'm feeling awkward

[shel84]

Hi, My 3 year old has started nursery and its probably just me thinking too much but i feel quite awkward when my little girl says things like there are a few kids in the class that are black/mixed race and when i asked her who she had been playing with she said the little black boy. Obviously the little boy is black so no offense should be taken because its just her noticing a difference in skin colour but it made me feel really awkward, because in this day and age with political correctness and all that i was worried how if anyone heard how they'd take it!
Its like ages ago we were at the park and there was a little girl who was disabled and i could see my little girl studying her and i just sat there thinking pleasedont say anything about her looking different.

Does anyone know what i mean?

 

[number1kitty]

Children are matter of fact. You asked your little girl a direct question and she gave you a direct answer. She dosnt know if thats wrong or right. She is daunted going to nursery so probably dosn't know names yet.

Saying she was playing with the little black boy is never going to offend anyone. Shes certainly not going to be rascist at 3!

Half my family are black and mixed race and they are very very laid back unless someone used a word as an intended insult.

Don't make any issue of it otherwise she may pick up on there being a 'difference' where as now she probably hasn't noticed. Instead encourage her to find out his name.

My children have started calling each other a 'lesbian' recently - now thats mortifying as where my mum lives there are lots of same sex couples. Imagine my horror when my 8 yr old screams after my 6 yr old that shes a lesbian lol!! (they do know what it means!).

I have brought them up to believe they can love who they want in life and to not judge yet they do it in the most harmless of ways. Least to say my youngest retorts back, 'well at least someone will love me - you could have the choice of both sexes and they would still run away screaming' :green::green::green:!

KIDS !!

Once they start talking you wish they would forget again very quickly!!

 

[shel84]

Children are matter of fact. You asked your little girl a direct question and she gave you a direct answer. She dosnt know if thats wrong or right. She is daunted going to nursery so probably dosn't know names yet.

Saying she was playing with the little black boy is never going to offend anyone. Shes certainly not going to be rascist at 3!

Half my family are black and mixed race and they are very very laid back unless someone used a word as an intended insult.

Don't make any issue of it otherwise she may pick up on there being a 'difference' where as now she probably hasn't noticed. Instead encourage her to find out his name.

My children have started calling each other a 'lesbian' recently - now thats mortifying as where my mum lives there are lots of same sex couples. Imagine my horror when my 8 yr old screams after my 6 yr old that shes a lesbian lol!! (they do know what it means!).

I have brought them up to believe they can love who they want in life and to not judge yet they do it in the most harmless of ways. Least to say my youngest retorts back, 'well at least someone will love me - you could have the choice of both sexes and they would still run away screaming' :green::green::green:!

KIDS !!

Once they start talking you wish they would forget again very quickly!!

Sorry but i had to laugh, can just picture them shouting lesbian at eachother!

Thanks for the reply, I think the main worry that I have is that if the parents hear her saying it to me they may think that i have racist views because she is pointing out the fact their child is black. i dunno, i think i am just thinking too much about it!

I will never forget my cousin when we were very young saying as loud as she could whilst my nan was lookingat some ladies baby inthe pram "what an ugly baby nan!"

 

[number1kitty]

Sorry but i had to laugh, can just picture them shouting lesbian at eachother!

Thanks for the reply, I think the main worry that I have is that if the parents hear her saying it to me they may think that i have racist views because she is pointing out the fact their child is black. i dunno, i think i am just thinking too much about it!

I will never forget my cousin when we were very young saying as loud as she could whilst my nan was lookingat some ladies baby inthe pram "what an ugly baby nan!"

lol! Poor woman!!

I wouldnt be too worried about it. I know how uneasy it makes people feel when skin colours brought up. They view it like if someone said 'that blonde lady over there'. Its just a distinct marker. If anyone took offence then they would play on it regardless of words used or the intention behind it.

Those other mums are all in the same boat as you and know what kids are like for saying things. The point is shes playing nicely with this young lad and not blanking him or anything.

I would just quickly find out his name so she can call him by that from now on.

And yes it gets worse....... How about my youngest blurting out top whack in Morrisons 'I've not got any knickers on!' or in between hollywoods blurting out how hairy your bum is in a public toilet. Oh yeah kids are ever so slightly embarrasing lol! xx

 

[shel84]

LOL that is very true! I'll get her back one day when im grey and old!

 

[loubilicious]

Hi Shel, as Kate has said try not to worry, your daughter referring to this boy as black is not being racist and I really don't think would be regarded as so by 99% of people. Children of her age really are very matter of fact and say it as they see it, whilst working with children (I'm a nursery nurse by profession) I've been asked why I've got a jiggly bottom, why I've got spots on my face...etc. etc. The other day when we were talking about a neighbours baby my 4 year old son said, 'ooh that's an ugly name!!' I'm just glad she wasn't around to hear it!!

As Kate said just encourage her to find out his name (and as long as it's not an 'ugly' one ..LOL ) you can stop worrying!!

Lou x

in between hollywoods blurting out how hairy your bum is in a public toilet. Oh yeah kids are ever so slightly embarrasing lol! xx

Ha ha, I remember doing something scarily similar to my mum when I was young!!:o

 

[shel84]

Hi thanks for the reply, I'll try not toworry about it, im sure if she says anything in the future people will see it as just an innocent comment where she is being observant!(oh how observant she can be too! - especially with things you don't want her noticing!)

Hi Shel, as Kate has said try not to worry, your daughter referring to this boy as black is not being racist and I really don't think would be regarded as so by 99% of people. Children of her age really are very matter of fact and say it as they see it, whilst working with children (I'm a nursery nurse by profession) I've been asked why I've got a jiggly bottom, why I've got spots on my face...etc. etc. The other day when we were talking about a neighbours baby my 4 year old son said, 'ooh that's an ugly name!!' I'm just glad she wasn't around to hear it!!

As Kate said just encourage her to find out his name (and as long as it's not an 'ugly' one ..LOL ) you can stop worrying!!

Lou x





Ha ha, I remember doing something scarily similar to my mum when I was young!!:o

 

[Bagpuss]

well i can honestly say that friends of mine have stated that they "hate" being called coloured....they ain't coloured, that would suggest something like a rainbow...:lol:...they are black/mixed raced...but best of all they like to be called the same as you or i...by their name. So i would just ask your daughter to find out his name and to use that in future. I wouldn't worry about her offending anyone....:hug:

 

[mudshake]

don't worry too much, it is normal that your lil kid is learning and studying, and even exploring new things...
i just that you are there to guide to the right path, and teach her too the good and right conduct and moral lessons..

 

[kellyhacker]

I will never forget my cousin when we were very young saying as loud as she could whilst my nan was lookingat some ladies baby inthe pram "what an ugly baby nan!"

lmao iv just had a proper giggle at that!!

i remember going into some friends house a while back with my son and he said in what seemed like his loudest voice, "mummy it smells like poo in here" i was mortified it was one of those moments you wish the ground would swallow you up!
the other one was if someone wanted to give him a kiss goodbye or something they'd get close and he'd put his hand over his face and say "urgh im not kissing you your breath smells"
you gotta love their honesty!!

 

[happyfeet]

hi hun

dont worry about this at all. You little one is noticing differences in people and thats a good thing- just as a little one would point out that someone is wearing glasses or has long hair and so on and so fourth.

It sounds like your main worry is that you think if other parents hear this they may think that your views are racist and that your little one is putting your views across to other children and adults, am I right? Dont worry honestly look at what I've already mentioned above and most intelligent people will realise that your little one is noticing differences in people full stop.

Up until two weeks ago I worked in a nursery as a deputy room supervisor and the best thing you can do to ease your mind is talk to your little one's keyperson. Keypeople are there not only for your child but for you as a parent too. Discuss with them your thoughts and worries thats what they are there for honey. A big part of your little ones nursery education/care is teaching children about diversity. They should have props and resources that support their learning in this area. And after all that is what your little one is doing..... learning and sharing their thoughts. Someone else made a great point that they may not know the other childrens names so they are picking out certain characteristics or things on that child to differentiate between one child and another.

Relax honey and dont worry, your little one is doing fab and so are you.

HUgs honey xxx

 

[happyfeet]

PS I was forever telling my mum when i was little that i loved the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled to which mum would always reply "thanks love they're called crows feet". Lol i wasnt being ageist just being a kiddy! hee hee hee. Sadly now its my son son telling me he loves it when i smile and my eyes crinkle! Lol thats karma baby!

 

[dee]

i wouldnt worry too much , kids are honest , they are direct , they just say it as they see it , lol
we have mixed race members in our family and we hardly ever see em so when my cousin came up from london i was sat waiting for my kids to ask some cringeworthy question !!! thankfully they didint , i think coz we have always taught them people are different etc.. it isnt even an issue , lol
although ......... when james was about 3 we were in lorrisons and he saw a woman with a burka (or what ever they are called ) and shouted out "look daddy its from star wars "!!) omg i nearly died and had to make out he had seen a toy that was similar :lol: