Family Values

[Lellipop]

I have recently found myself doing lots of things for some of the older members of my extended family which I dont mind doing. But have had other people say to me that they wouldn't do the things I am doing So I wondered how others looked on family members getting old and needing care would you care for them. plus do your job and raise your own family would you ???

 

[pinkmummy]

I believe it's important to look out for older family members. After all these people looked after me and cleaned up my mess when I was little, I owe them.:hug: 15 years ago (when he was alive) my mum and I used to do my grandad's shopping and make him sandwiches and plated meals to microwave twice a week.
I'm an only child where my mother's concerned, so if I don't look out for her who will.
Good on you for helping out Lelli, it shows a caring & considerate nature.:hug:

 

[Snugglepuss]

This is really weird Lell, I was looking through some photos for a photo collage we are doing for hubby's dad's 80th birthday and found some of my 2 old aunties who I basically grew up with :hug:

When they got older, I took them everywhere I could went down several times a week, took them shopping, had them for christmas dinner etc etc - just trying to repay their kindness to me when I was a little girl.

When Jellie Bean was born my aunty Nellie was ill in hospital (the same one as me) and the first thing I did was take him to see her - she was over the moon :green:

My mother, brother and my cousin said I was mad for looking after them but I can honestly say that I didn't mind - the only time it got to me was when others decided that it was expected of me iykwim!

They have both died now and I miss them Aunty Nellie for her humour and Aunty Winnie for passing on lots of her knowledge - if I had to do it again would I? I SURE WOULD :hug:

 

[Lellipop]

This is what I am seeing in the world Debs people who make out there so kind etc but when it comes to looking after their own they dont want to know.
What has made me rant over this is the fact that I care for my disabled mum and do everything for her on my own and last week ades uncle ron was really ill in hospital and who was it that drove his auntie to see him everynight and did her shopping........ Yep me. I have an uncle who lives a few doors away from my mum and he helps with help the aged doing chores and hospital runs etc and he has never once asked my mum if she needs anything :irked:

 

[emma m]

I help my gran and grandad, they are my gran is house bound and the only thing that my grandad does is walk round the corner on a morning for the newspaper. I everything for them as in take my gran out at least once a week if not more and also go for their supermarket shopping, take them to doc hospital all those sorts of things.
I know that they do really appriciate what i do for them but sometimes I feel like its just taken for granted that I will look after them, even from the rest of the family i t feels like this sometimes.:cry:

This is aswell as look after my own family and have a job, sometimes i do wish that i could just have a couple of days break away for me to be pampered!!!!!:cry::cry:

 

[fifitrix]

I do this with my dad. Since my mum died I do a lot for him, his ironing, housework etc., I used to be there every day but made it every couple of days to encourage him to do stuff on his own. It's as if sometimes he can't make a decision on his own but I know he misses my mum so I don't mind this at all. Some people have asked me why I do so much for him and does it bother me, my answer is of course not he is my dad, he is a man that I respect and admire and look up to and just because he is older and cannot do as much for himself I have never lost that.

His driving should still go into room 101 though!

 

[Anna Lee]

I dont look after any extended family.. but I do look after my own mum and dad.. my parents dont speak english so therefore my help is essential.. i do everything from taking to hospital appointments to reading a simple letter..

Its tough trying to juggle two parents.. two children.. work and household chores and now my pregnancy.. but i wouldnt have it another way.. i always thought of it as my job instead of a burden..

my parents raised me up.. and by taking care of them now.. im happy to know that i am doing my part as a daughter..

my own daughter often says to me ' mummy.. one day when you get old... i will look after you the same way you look after grandma and grandpa'..

and when i hear things like that... there is no doubt i am doing the right thing..

 

[hayls]

My Mum retired 2 years ago to look after my Nan who is 83 and tbh has a long list of problems, I go and see her once twice a week, but I dont do anything for her as my Mum does it all. My Mum lives with her btw.

If it ever happens that my Mum goes the same way, then I will look after her the best I can.

 

[leah82]

I do help others in my family, older members & well as younger on a regular basis & yes have the same reply as above from other members of my family saying they wouldn't/can't as they are just to busy etc.. etc... . I'm the sort of person who always like to help others where I can & it really infuriates me when other just can't be bothered, as when the time comes they'll want help themselves won't they. I couldn't not do it. That's what family is supposed to be about & yes its hard for me sometimes but I just have to work round it and adapted, something others seem to think is impossible or just can't be bothered with & don't have a concionce. Some people just think their lives are more important. Bit of a sore subject for me, if you hadn't noticed LOL!!!!

 

[Zo Zo]

I have to admit this is a difficult one for me. I try very hard to be good, one of my clients is dying and I have been to the hospice to do her nails ( I know it means a lot to her) and to give her a facial (these are her fave treatments) f.o.c. of course, and this week I'm taking a client who can't walk, into town for the day as she hasn't been for 3 years and says she needs some clothes (she has 2 grown up daughters living in the area who haven't taken her) but when it comes to my own family, well, I don't think my mother would p*** on me if I were on fire so I am dreading her needing care in her old age. Dreading it!

 

[gemmamarie]

Hello lelli

I would go to the ends of the earth to help my mum and dad. I would not care how much time of my day it would take up or how tired I was:hug: Whatever they needed I would do no questions asked, no sighing heard, nothing,and I would do this giving 100% of everything of all thats in me.
HOWEVER I would do this because from the very moment that my parents conceived me right up until this very second they have given me 100% of themselves at all times, no questions asked! and boy do I realise that I am one hell of a lucky girl as alot of people dont get half of this. My son for instance has a father that chooses not too see his son,not too speak to his son or have anything to do with his son.This I do not understand as when I gave birth, automatically I had a need to love,cherish and protect forever,no matter how hard the struggle at times may be. People who have acted like my ex partner for no other reasons than for their own selfishness deserve to end their lives very lonely with no help at all from anybody.
People that have helped, done what they believed to be right and given love and support to their families deserve to end their lives with happiness, laughter, 100% pure love and they deserved to be cherished at all times :hug:

 

[1999judy]

I'm doing as much as I possibly can to help my mum at the moment as she is very poorly with her brain tumours and the radiotherapy.
Other family members ring and take her to lunch if she feels up to it, but it has been mainly left to me and my dad.
And when it is over I will have to look after my dad and try to pick up the pieces from it all.
That's what families do.:hug:

 

[gemmamarie]

I'm doing as much as I possibly can to help my mum at the moment as she is very poorly with her brain tumours and the radiotherapy.
Other family members ring and take her to lunch if she feels up to it, but it has been mainly left to me and my dad.
And when it is over I will have to look after my dad and try to pick up the pieces from it all.
That's what families do.:hug:

My heart goes out to you Judy:hug: as your going through this awful time.
If you ever fancy a chat or just need to let off steam pm me xx:hug:

 

[Lellipop]

I'm doing as much as I possibly can to help my mum at the moment as she is very poorly with her brain tumours and the radiotherapy.
Other family members ring and take her to lunch if she feels up to it, but it has been mainly left to me and my dad.
And when it is over I will have to look after my dad and try to pick up the pieces from it all.
That's what families do.:hug:

Yep Judy thats what loving caring people do but this world as some that wouldnt do it

Hello lelli

I would go to the ends of the earth to help my mum and dad. I would not care how much time of my day it would take up or how tired I was:hug: Whatever they needed I would do no questions asked, no sighing heard, nothing,and I would do this giving 100% of everything of all thats in me.
HOWEVER I would do this because from the very moment that my parents conceived me right up until this very second they have given me 100% of themselves at all times, no questions asked! and boy do I realise that I am one hell of a lucky girl as alot of people dont get half of this. My son for instance has a father that chooses not too see his son,not too speak to his son or have anything to do with his son.This I do not understand as when I gave birth, automatically I had a need to love,cherish and protect forever,no matter how hard the struggle at times may be. People who have acted like my ex partner for no other reasons than for their own selfishness deserve to end their lives very lonely with no help at all from anybody.
People that have helped, done what they believed to be right and given love and support to their families deserve to end their lives with happiness, laughter, 100% pure love and they deserved to be cherished at all times :hug:

Gemma I agree that we should love and respect others :hug: