Help with wording

[Ashtara]

I need your help ladies.

I am not sure about the wording on my leaflets.

It is a tri fold leaflet with my contact details on the front and my price list inside but I am struggling with the back page. Here it is at the moment:

I provide a relaxing &
professional service with
a flexible appointment
System : Daytime,
evening & weekend
appointments.
　
I also offer some
of my treatments in the
comfort of your own
home.
　
Thinking of having a get
together with your
friends? Why not have
a pamper evening?
Please call for details
　
Gift vouchers are
available for any
amount or combination
of treatments


Does it sound OK? what should I change

Thanks

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[weezie]

How about a map of where you work and also a cancellation policy.

Also I prefer leaflets in the third person e.g

"A relaxing and professional service..." rather than "I provide a relaxing and professional service..." and "Some treatments available in the comfort of your own home" instead of "I also offer..." as I think it sounds more professional but it's just personal opinion. :hug:

 

[kdmb212]

How about a map of where you work and also a cancellation policy.

Also I prefer leaflets in the third person e.g

"A relaxing and professional service..." rather than "I provide a relaxing and professional service..." and "Some treatments available in the comfort of your own home" instead of "I also offer..." as I think it sounds more professional but it's just personal opinion. :hug:

I def agree with Weezie. A map and/or cancellation policy is a good idea. Also, are you qualified with a certain brand? If so, call their PR department and ask if you are able to use their logo(s), sometimes that can give people peace of mind that you are using top-notch products, (some people are brand-namers). hth

 

[Susie H]

As usual the geeks have given great advise, just to add, if you find when you've finished tweeking it that you have a gap anywhere, put an appointment box in. Then if someone is calling to make an appointment, there is no excuse for them not remembering when it is:biggrin:

 

[kdmb212]

As usual the geeks have given great advise, just to add, if you find when you've finished tweeking it that you have a gap anywhere, put an appointment box in. Then if someone is calling to make an appointment, there is no excuse for them not remembering when it is:biggrin:

Ooo, I like that one

 

[deanosnana]

How about a map of where you work and also a cancellation policy.

Also I prefer leaflets in the third person e.g

"A relaxing and professional service..." rather than "I provide a relaxing and professional service..." and "Some treatments available in the comfort of your own home" instead of "I also offer..." as I think it sounds more professional but it's just personal opinion. :hug:

TOTALLY agree!

 

[deanosnana]

As usual the geeks have given great advise, just to add, if you find when you've finished tweeking it that you have a gap anywhere, put an appointment box in. Then if someone is calling to make an appointment, there is no excuse for them not remembering when it is:biggrin:

GREAT idea!

 

[Ashtara]

Thank you ladies,

Your advice as usual as proven invaluable

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