how to deal with telesales people

[crazy'n'creative]

Fun with telemarketers

1. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I am so glad you asked, because no
one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get
to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.


2. If the caller says he's John Doe from XYZ Company, ask him to spell his
name. Then ask him to spell the company name. Then ask where it's located.
Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as
long as necessary.


3. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and
I'm with iVillage.com..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice
ask, "What are you wearing?"


4. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you
been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she
tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.


5. Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep
a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you
can do it until they hang up.


6. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you couldn't just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.


7. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it's a telemarketer, set the
receiver down, scream "Oh my God!" and hang up.


8. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the
Telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you say
"I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
(Thanks to "Seinfeld" for this one!)


9. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.


10. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask if they would please hold. Put them
on your speakerphone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your
food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.


11. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come
on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon. How's your momma?"


12. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write down every word

 

[pinkshell_nails]

Very good!

Dont you just hate it when they call you, its always at the most inappropriate times, wither the dinners burning or the kids are trying to kill each other or the dog!
I now answer the phone but dont speak, just put the receiver to my ear. If its a telesales person i tell them that i dont own my own home and that im bankrupt, somehow they seem to excuse themselves pretty sharpish!

 

[Jen Smith]

My husband said next time a marketer phones .. he said he is going to say to them .... "can you discuss this with my son, I give him full authority". Then pass the phone over to our son.

Our son is almost two yrs old and is still babbling... I am sure he will enjoy the nice lady/gent on the end of the phone trying to make head or tail of his baby talk. He loves the telephone and will babble for ages quite happily LOL!

 

[holliejayne]

for the first time in my life I actually want one of them to call me!

These are great! I usally pretend Im a loony and say things like: 'my name is richrd and I am a cod, do you like green carpet?, hows your uncle margaret?, I like purple schoolbuses, I can fit 2 footballs in my ear, ladybirds are taking over my brain and I need help, what colour pants are you wearing today? mine are magenta, or pretend to be an answerphone, etc.. anything random will do. or my absolute favourite:

F*** OFF!

 

[Cameo Val]

I used to hate the constant telemarketing phone calls. They always come at inconvenient times. Then I heard of a link that you can go to online, fill in the details and hey presto, within 2 weeks, no more annoying phone calls. I tried it and my annoying phone calls stopped within 48 hours. Try it out. Link below.

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/ctps/number_type.html

 

[holliejayne]

My mum is one the BT protection list thingy, and we still get them quite often! x x

 

[stanleyann]

i know these calls can be annoying at times, especially the ones who just wont take no for an answer but at the end of the day these people are only doing their job, thats what they are employed for, to call you and try to convince you that you need a 12 foot swimming pool built out your back garden.....lol.........i really dont mind the ones who take your not interested comment seriously as soon as you say it but the ones who keep trying and ask personal details are a different story......i never tell them any of my personal details, not even what mobile phone company i am with....when you dont tell them anything you can hear them start to get annoyed through the phone....lol

stanleyann

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Thank the lord I never got through to any of you guys when I did cold calling!

 

[Lady H]

I worked in telesales for 3 months a few years ago, as we got made redundant from a place and i got offered a new job but not starting for 14 weeks, i was awful at it. Im good on the phone but Im no salesperson. I was probably the least sucessful in the office but as I knew it was a fill-inb job I didnt really care! Towards the last month or so my nice manners must have paid off as I was getting people interested without even trying and the day I went to hand my notice in, before I did my boss asked me if I wanted a supervisors job on the other shift!!!! lol, she was gutted when i said "thanks but Im leaving friday"

 

[Marilyn]

I have now registered to get NO MORE marketing calls with the link supplied....thanks. We will see what happens now!! I seem to have the same ones phoning me week after week and even though I stop their conversation straight away and say no thanks (possibly not that polite some times!!) and tell them NOT to phone me again...the next week they are there again having another go, they do not seem to know what the word NO means!!

 

[Lady H]

I have now registered to get NO MORE marketing calls with the link supplied....thanks. We will see what happens now!! I seem to have the same ones phoning me week after week and even though I stop their conversation straight away and say no thanks (possibly not that polite some times!!) and tell them NOT to phone me again...the next week they are there again having another go, they do not seem to know what the word NO means!!

LOL when I worked at the telesales company if anyone got annoyed i would tell them about the TPS to stop calls. ha ha and they wanted me to be a supervisor!!!

 

[dee]

this has made me pee my pants with laughing , i am on tps but do still get calls , god i really hope one of em phones me now :biggrin: , i am looking forward to being able to use some of these
excellent

 

[Cuttie_Pie]

We have a church at the bottom of the street but we always get visitors to try and convert you to the other side... Does anyone else have this??
They always catch me just as i am about to go take a bath or go out... When they stat talking i just reply I am sorry i cant follow your religion as I worship Satan... (NOM) They just smile and walk away quickly murmuring something like your are in my prayers.. lol.

This si something one of my high school RE tutors tought me... of all people.

 

[Lady H]

where i used to live we used to get a lot of jehovas witnesses at the door. Im not fussed what people believe in but I dont want them trying to convert me, no matter what religion they are promoting. I started to recognise them and just didnt answer the door. Im sure a lot of people do that.

 

[nailtech]

Can you teach us some Norwegian Cec, that would probably stump the most persistent of them LOL!

I like No.4 on the list, I may try that one! I'm on that BT list too & haven't had a sales call in weeks but like Hollie I almost wish one would call now :biggrin:

KarenS.

~~~~~

 

[Exquisite Touch]

I changed my number last week due to these calls paid ntl thirty quid to change number on the friday and omg on the monday im getting calls agian from O2 trying to sell me a contract phone needles to say i went to town on the lad that called and he couldnt apologise enough
the air was blue and then it was a call to ntl to say cut everything off and come fetch your box back as im not paying for a service that i get harassed to death with
the bloke from ntl was nearly crying saying dont take it out on my company because of these firms but he would be angry if he had paid thirty quid to change his number and three days later you get calls again
They really make you angry
Ill def be repeating some of the quotes here and see what they have to say to them lol
Deb xxxx

 

[NYGIRL]

I use the Scott Mills quote from radio one, I LOVE YOU. it totally throws um.

"no thank you very much, not intrested, i love you, bye"

then hang up and pee self laffin

xxx:biggrin:

 

[Hannah1984]

They always phone at ridiculous times, last one I had phoned at 9.15pm I pretended to have kids going mental at him saying he'd woken them up. He still wanted another time for him to call me. Havnt heard from him since!

 

[Marilyn]

I changed my number last week due to these calls paid ntl thirty quid to change number on the friday and omg on the monday im getting calls agian from O2 trying to sell me a contract phone needles to say i went to town on the lad that called and he couldnt apologise enough
the air was blue and then it was a call to ntl to say cut everything off and come fetch your box back as im not paying for a service that i get harassed to death with
the bloke from ntl was nearly crying saying dont take it out on my company because of these firms but he would be angry if he had paid thirty quid to change his number and three days later you get calls again
They really make you angry
Ill def be repeating some of the quotes here and see what they have to say to them lol
Deb xxxx

I am with NTL too and cannot see why they do not offer the same as BT, they have a FREE service where you can register to stop these call, I have friends who have registered with this BT service and dont get calls any more. If BT can do it why cant NTL???:irked: :irked:

 

[Sparklepink]

I use the Scott Mills quote from radio one, I LOVE YOU. it totally throws um.

"no thank you very much, not intrested, i love you, bye"

then hang up and pee self laffin

xxx:biggrin:

the i love you game so funny.... ive n t tried it out tho....

i get calls at the salon quite a lot and im just a wee bit cheeky....
i know when its a sales call cos they always ask for mrs marks
..... now im nt married and if i was id prob nt be a mrs marks (unless i met a guy with the same surname...ykwim)
so i ask the caller whats its abt and why do you need to spk to mrs marks?....as she has nothing to do with the salon other than the fact that shes my mother!.... it does shut ppl up a bit....lol.... and then go on and say they have their details wrong (there must be a listing somewhere with me as a mrs marks ) and im nt interested.... goodbye and hang up

Jess
xox