Pressured into having children?

[Creative Keren]

It's the first time I've posted on the chit chat section so please go easy on me

I'm 27 and I have a family history of ovarian cancer on both my mom and dads side. I have had to have 6months scans since I was 13 to monitor it and my review with the doctor was on Tuesday.

The doctor said that as a preventative measure, I should have a full hysterectomy. :gobsmacked: I already have a son (who is 5) and she asked if I wanted more children and if I did to have them within the next 2-3 years with a view to having the surgery around 30. She's referred me to the cancer specialist and geneticist to speak about the surgery and make a plan.

I'm in a mild state of panic as I do want more children but don't want to feel pressured into having them right away. On the other hand I don't want to try and wait to have them to then be told that I can't.

It's worth noting that I was on the depo injection which ran out on the 1st and she said I am not to have that anymore but to go on the pill - a specific one, not the combined pill.

Both my great grandmas on my dad's side and my nan died from ovarian cancer and my nan on my moms side. My mom had to have a full hysterectomy in her 30's and my sister had to when she was 17 (she can't have any children) so I know that I am going to have to have the surgery at some point.

Although I have known my partner for 9 years (he's not my sons dad) but we have only been together less than a year so I feel that it is unfair for me to say we must have children soon.

I wasn't planning on anymore children until my son was around 10 but my partner wants to have them sooner than that but I'm sure he wasn't expecting it so soon. I've spoken to him and he said he is happy to have a child within the next 12 months....

I don't know if I am ready for that (I had a horrible pregnancy with my son - labour for 3 days and an emergency c section) I'm really at a loss at what to do or even where my head/hearts at. Has anyone been in a similar situation or could offer some kind advice???

 

[Hazemalone]

I don't really have any advise I just want to say that, you can always get a second opinion as a hysterectomy is a huge step to take especially so young. Did your sister have any cancerous cells? 17 is so young. I really hope things work out for you, but if you have had no scares I wouldn't rush into any big decision. What age were the women in your family when they were diagnosed?

 

[nicole333]

It must have been quite a shock to hear that news and it's only been a couple of days. Give yourself some room to take things in and if you still feel overwhelmed can you speak to a counsellor at your GP surgery? Sometimes it helps to offload to somebody who isn't directly involved and they are not there to give you answers, but to help you find your own. If your GP has access to this service there is a chance it may be a long waiting list, so maybe going private might be a better option.

 

[Creative Keren]

I don't know at what age my nanas were all diagnosed but all dies pre 60 years old. My mom was in her 30's and my sister had her first op when she was 14. 4 ops later they said the cysts had turned cancerous and she had everything removed. They have said with my family history that the chances are that I will get it also so to prevent the risk they want me to have an hysterectomy. I have been to 2 different doctors and a gynaecologist who all said that I would have to be monitored but after my last scan (end of December) I've been told that they will need to do a biopsy and speak to the cancer specialist and geneticist to make a plan of action. :scared: my cousin -the same age as me- also has this and has been told that she can not have children.

Seems the odds are against me and I'm in a panic because I want more children but I don't want to rush to have them but the dr says "times ticking"

 

[Hazemalone]

I really don't know what to say, it's such a hard situation. But if they are saying the hysterectomy at 30 then maybe next year you could see how you feel about having a baby. Take your time with your decision I hope everything works out for you x

 

[Creative Keren]

I really don't know what to say, it's such a hard situation. But if they are saying the hysterectomy at 30 then maybe next year you could see how you feel about having a baby. Take your time with your decision I hope everything works out for you x

Thank you :hug:

 

[spudclarke]

First of all I would like to say I'm sorry your family have had such rotten luck. You don't need to decide anything yet and say to yourself you will reevaluate in say 6mths. As another geek said counselling might help you talk about your horrible birth experience and gain some perspective. In the meantime just try and give yourself a break and breathing space. Good luck!