Running your business and coping with the loss of a very close family member, how did you cope?

Claire@OBNMK

Active Member
my grandad passed away 2 days ago friday.
We were extremely close i never had my dad around growing up so he was like a father figure too.
I did 3 regular clients yesterday and they knew he was nearing the end so them being there helped me a bit cos they understood the situation.

But im really busy this week, ive got a couple of new people but tbh i dont think i can face anyone new. Ill probably end up crying in front of them.

How did you guys cope with your own businesses and having to greive too. Did you scale back did you not take on any new regulars for a while? im a nail tech btw

One minute i block it out and it doesnt seam real the next i cant believe he's gone. I dont know how to feel or how to act or what to do. And when i cry and think of him it hurts so much that my chest physically hurts and my whole body feels like it's being pulled/dragged downwards.
Im lost
 

Haircutz

Super Moderator
Staff member
I'm sorry for your loss. It's incredibly tough losing someone you love and having to carry on with normal life, when your life feels anything but normal.

If you were physically unwell with flu, you wouldn't hesitate to take some time off to get better. The pain of losing your grandad probably feels very raw right now so maybe you need to think about taking a few days to yourself or just scaling back your appointments to just a few clients a day?

However, some people find it beneficial to keep super busy in the early days so there's no one solution that works for everyone. It's trial and error.

Some days you'll probably cope better than others but you can't control how you grieve, it's just a process that affects us all differently. The important thing is to be kind to yourself and accept your feelings.

Take care of yourself. <geeky hug>
 

Claire@OBNMK

Active Member
Thankyou for the geeky hug and kind words xx
 

izzidoll

Strictly Scottish Geek!
So sorry for your loss, and as Haircutz says, there is no right or wrong way to deal with loss as we all react differently.
I have been through a terrible loss a couple of years ago and my clients were all extremely supportive, but even now I get very anxious and stressed when I have a new client in case the conversation takes a wrong turn and I have to talk about it.

Unlike other beauty treatments we nail techs have to sit face to face with people for usually a full hour making conversation and that can be tough when your emotions are in such turmoil.

Reading your post, in amongst the hurt and the rawness of it, I think you want to keep busy, but not have to explain to strangers what has happened. Therefore I would cut back and stick to your regulars who know you and I'm sure will be supportive, and this will help you.

It is still very early days, but I'm sure you will get stronger and better able to cope, at least outwardly as the pain of losing a loved one never truly goes away xx
 

RED STAR

Well-Known Member
God Bless Grandpops xxxx
Completely understand how hard it is to 'Put your face on' for the public.........
I was the opposite however, with regard new and old clients.
I found it much easier to do new client's, as they knew nothing about me....I could keep the conversation 'Professional', talk about their hair etc, NOT about me or my family....
The old client's, would obviously ask how Dad was......I could not hold it together, as their kindness just somehow made it worse......
 

squidgernetball

Ubergeek
I literally lost my dad on the Wednesday and was working on the Thursday afternoon. It was then that I heard that one of my clients lost her young son to meningitis the day after my dad died and they wanted treatments for the funeral. We had to juggle as the funeral was the day after my dad's.

It was really hard but they put my loss into perspective. My lovely dad was 87. He was poorly for a very short time and he died very peacefully. If you're going to go, that's what I'd choose. It made me very grateful for my dad's life and mine and my family's health.

Even now, 5 years later I talk about my dad and can get choked but my clients, old and new, really helped me through.

I send you big hugs because losing someone is so awful but please don't be afraid of avoiding the subject and try and be happy for the lovely memories left behind.

Vic x
 

Claire@OBNMK

Active Member
I literally lost my dad on the Wednesday and was working on the Thursday afternoon. It was then that I heard that one of my clients lost her young son to meningitis the day after my dad died and they wanted treatments for the funeral. We had to juggle as the funeral was the day after my dad's.

It was really hard but they put my loss into perspective. My lovely dad was 87. He was poorly for a very short time and he died very peacefully. If you're going to go, that's what I'd choose. It made me very grateful for my dad's life and mine and my family's health.

Even now, 5 years later I talk about my dad and can get choked but my clients, old and new, really helped me through.

I send you big hugs because losing someone is so awful but please don't be afraid of avoiding the subject and try and be happy for the lovely memories left behind.


Vic x
Thankyou Vic
xxx
 

Calm

Member
Hi Claire,

My Grandfather passed away a month ago today so I know how you must be feeling. Time is the greatest healer, it's gets easier day by day.

Your situation is slightly different to mine in that you're wondering how you will cope running your business, where as I am actively looking to start a business with the inheritance he's left me. I want to feel as though I'm putting the money to good use. All the best x
 

Claire@OBNMK

Active Member
Hi Claire,

My Grandfather passed away a month ago today so I know how you must be feeling. Time is the greatest healer, it's gets easier day by day.

Your situation is slightly different to mine in that you're wondering how you will cope running your business, where as I am actively looking to start a business with the inheritance he's left me. I want to feel as though I'm putting the money to good use. All the best x
Thankyou <3 , i hope it gets easier xx
I felt a little better earlier on cos my 2 yr old nephew came round for a visit and we played cars on the kitchen table and kept on giving me kisses (even tho he sucks in air whilst he gives the kiss :) )
 

Grace_Hair

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry for your loss.
I believe family ALWAYS comes first.
If people are not understanding of you having time off, do you REALLY want them as clients?

My mum passed away 2 months after opening my salon.

I took 4 weeks off. Kind of.
I only went in for pre-booked appointments I had in week 3 and 4.

My sisters boyfriend was a god send, he popped in and called my clients and then put up a note in the window to inform clients I was closed and why. He also changed my answer phone explaining the situation and when I would be back.
 

Grace_Hair

Well-Known Member
Thankyou <3 , i hope it gets easier xx
I felt a little better earlier on cos my 2 yr old nephew came round for a visit and we played cars on the kitchen table and kept on giving me kisses (even tho he sucks in air whilst he gives the kiss :) )
It does get easier I promise.
It is hard though.
We lost mum about 10 months ago and I saw someone who was wearing the same coat as mum had and I welled up.
But only welled up. Not full blown sob! You get there!
 

rubywoo

Active Member
I have lost three relatives in the last three years and I found real solace and healing in going to work. Sometimes grief and tears well up and threatens to choke the life out of you. Allow them to come in (try and do it somewhere quite and privately!) let it course through you, you can't even begin to feel a bit better without allow grief to run its course. It's a hideous physical pain, but you do begin to get days where you cope so much better and whilst the desperate sadness never leaves your heart you do start to function more clearly. You never recover from loss but you do learn to live with it and the pain becomes less raw, instead of it feeling like half your body has been amputated, it moves through phases, until you aren't bleeding daily. I'm sorry to be so graphic but my way of support has always been to be deeply honest about my own feeling if something has happened to me.

Be gentle with yourself, take your time and surround yourself with people who are kind.
x
 

Very sorry to hear of your sad loss, sending you lots of hugs.
I lost my dad this time last year while I was pregnant with my little girl (his first grandchild too) I also was booked in with lots of clients at the time, I cancelled as soon as I could by txt which I would never normally do but I couldn't speak as you can image, my clients all understood and I re booked them when I felt I could manage, I think under circumstances such as yours clients, especially regular ones will under stand and if they don't then they are not the clients you need, You need time to greave for your granddad, don't stress yourself out, clients you have to cancel and re book will under strand just make then aware of the situation and that you will re book them as soon as you can, Most people will have suffered a loss at some point so they will understand your pain and wouldn't expect you to work,
sending my love to you and your family xx
 

kamikate

Active Member
When my father became terminally ill, I had to cancel 2 fairly new clients. They unfortunately, took offence at the cancellation and I never saw them again. I learned to block out emotions. I looked after my children during the day, did my clients late afternoon/evening, then spent the night at the hospice. I'm sorry you have to go through this hard period. The pain of losing him doesn't get easier, you just get used to him not being there.
 
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