Why do people say hurtful things when you talk about your aspirations?

[ChicUnique]

Wow. I'm appalled at how negative some of your family and friends are!

Nobody and I mean none of my family or friends have uttered a negative word about about my business. They have all been fully supportive of me, and go out of their way to help and support me.

There's a LOT to be said for positive thinking, and surrounding yourself with positive people will do you the world of good.

Ignore those with the negative points of view. Believe in yourself. You can do it. You will succeed. Xx

 

[Kim Lawless]

There are usually three types of people that makes negative comments:-

1. Thick.........so they don't realise how hurtful they are.

2. Jealous..........because they haven't got the get up an go that you've got

3. Nasty..........because they are toxic.

Educate 1 and run away as fast as you can from 2 and 3 shouting 'See ya......wouldn't wanna be ya'.

 

[virtues2011]

There are usually three types of people that makes negative comments:-

1. Thick.........so they don't realise how hurtful they are.

2. Jealous..........because they haven't got the get up an go that you've got

3. Nasty..........some people are toxic.

Educate 1 and run away as fast as you can from 2 and 3 shouting 'See ya......wouldn't wanna be ya'.

Ha ha ha ha........ I've sort of missed you Kim. .

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[hazeleyes]

This is quite common for older parents. . My mother was the same. ..absolutely disgusting that I worked and left my daughter..... I even paid for my mothers home insurance, telephone bills and other things aside...

I've been slated continually. .been told that 'I hope it all fails' .... 'what you're doing is just so you can walk round with a big head'. I stood in my wedding dress the day I got married and was told... 'ohhh you look fat...."

My birthday last year my husband and I took a few friends out to celebrate, I didn't drink that night and heard one couple saying at the end ' shall we go and sort the bill out' the other couple said 'no let them do it, they can afford it'....

Eventually you stop getting invited out probably because you have nothing in common anymore. ..plus what do you say to someone who says 'are you going on holiday this year' .... ( well I've had five holidays already) other people don't want to hear this. ..they relate more to ' oh would love to but can't afford it'.

Equally i was with a 'friend' who just moaned about having no heating in her house last winter as her boiler broke and she couldn't afford to replace it but then went out and bought a dog! . Being successful also seems to make you a bad, horrible and nasty person .. when in all honesty you just work hard to have a good life.

... and even some people reading this thread will think the same.'look at her bragging' .. I'm not, sometimes i think maybe it would be nice to have an average life where people actually care about you.

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I realise you can't choose your family but you can certainly choose your friends! Anyone who treated me like that just for being successful rather than being supportive is not anyone I want around me to be honest. You've had a lucky escape if they only invite u out as a formality and expect you to pay for things! I've done quite a lot of 'trimming the fat' when it comes to certain 'friends' of mine lately!

There are many haters out there but if anything they spur me on to be EVEN better than them.

 

[virtues2011]

I realise you can't choose your family but you can certainly choose your friends! Anyone who treated me like that just for being successful rather than being supportive is not anyone I want around me to be honest. You've had a lucky escape if they only invite u out as a formality and expect you to pay for things! I've done quite a lot of 'trimming the fat' when it comes to certain 'friends' of mine lately!

There are many haters out there but if anything they spur me on to be EVEN better than them.

You can choose what you do with your family to a degree. .I haven't spoken to my father since I was 19 and my mother for over 5 years and I'm now 40. I have a very few supportive friends, no siblings and I rely on no one.

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[Leely]

I totally agree with Kim

My mum and dad are behind me and totally support me wanting to work with having 2 small children. My husband has paid for most of my courses to help me build a career I love so much.

My husbands mum and dad are quite a bit older than mine so I think they are quite old fashioned, my mother in law has never once told my husband she is proud of him or what he has achieved. I will make sure when my sons are older I tell them all the time. When we told them I was pregnant with our first son all we for was "OH" my husbands nan told us how could we afford it. People like this just make me work harder so I prove hard work pays off. X


Leely x

 

[virtues2011]

I totally agree with Kim

My mum and dad are behind me and totally support me wanting to work with having 2 small children. My husband has paid for most of my courses to help me build a career I love so much.

My husbands mum and dad are quite a bit older than mine so I think they are quite old fashioned, my mother in law has never once told my husband she is proud of him or what he has achieved. I will make sure when my sons are older I tell them all the time. When we told them I was pregnant with our first son all we for was "OH" my husbands nan told us how could we afford it. People like this just make me work harder so I prove hard work pays off. X


Leely x

I think you are fortunate to have lovely supportive parents. It gets harder the more successful you become. . However that said the same goes for the word 'successful' and how you interpret it. .the same as poor to rich.. my idea of success isn't just to have a business and survive day to day. .I know I can sound very disrespectful when I say ' are there people that work for the minimum wage or even for free? ' ...I don't understand why people need to do this..I have no GCSE qualifications whatsoever I was expelled from school at 15 for being the school joker but I have common sense and proved time and time again that success can be achieved when I started with less than nothing and no support whatsoever. .... but with this in mind I understand for me this was 25 years ago, times weren't so hard and I wasn't in this industry.. so may be I am being a little naive.

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[hazeleyes]

You can choose what you do with your family to a degree. .I haven't spoken to my father since I was 19 and my mother for over 5 years and I'm now 40. I have a very few supportive friends, no siblings and I rely on no one.

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I don't think I would speak to my parents either if they behaved like that. I want it so I can count my friends on one hand to be honest after a host of bad experiences!

 

[virtues2011]

I don't think I would speak to my parents either if they behaved like that. I want it so I can count my friends on one hand to be honest after a host of bad experiences!

You will get there. You are passionate enough. I understand your frustration of the area you live in and what therapists are charging for services (as on the other thread yesterday . .but I still can not fathom yet how you get around this. I understand the principle of not reducing your service prices but are you then even competitive or are you just priced out altogether and like everyone seems to say. .' The clients will come eventually' .. when is eventually. . When it is too late! This will always be an argument rather than a discussion. ..sorry... back to the thread. ..

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[Beau-bettie]

Keep up the positive mental thinking!
It can only stand you in good stead!

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it!

Rhonda Byrnes "the secret" put me where I am today....best of luck on future ventures! Xx

 

[hazeleyes]

You will get there. You are passionate enough. I understand your frustration of the area you live in and what therapists are charging for services (as on the other thread yesterday . .but I still can not fathom yet how you get around this. I understand the principle of not reducing your service prices but are you then even competitive or are you just priced out altogether and like everyone seems to say. .' The clients will come eventually' .. when is eventually. . When it is too late! This will always be an argument rather than a discussion. ..sorry... back to the thread. ..

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And I have to say I agree with you which is why I raised the other thread! It's practically impossible to price yourself up rather than out! Because a higher percentage of salons here charge the lesser rates than the higher. There are relatively few high end salons locally! My only option to make a decent living I have decided, is to work out of this area!
Yes back to the thread.... Which does tie in nicely ,...

 

[Kim Lawless]

I totally agree with Kim

I will make sure when my sons are older I tell them all the time.

My daughter only has to stand up and I give her a round of applause. I adore her and she adores me. We give 100% encouragement to each other and we are always in each others corner........shoulder to shoulder. I am the luckiest woman alive when my daughter is around. Remember you get back what you give out.

Good for you Leely..........adore your sons and they'll adore you. Sod the rest of them. xx

 

[laurakate]

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it!

I love that! thanks

 

[laurakate]

There are usually three types of people that makes negative comments:-

1. Thick.........so they don't realise how hurtful they are.

2. Jealous..........because they haven't got the get up an go that you've got

3. Nasty..........because they are toxic.

Educate 1 and run away as fast as you can from 2 and 3 shouting 'See ya......wouldn't wanna be ya'.

I like how you've explained this because it helps me to make sense of things. Being neither thick, jealous or nasty myself it makes sense that I can't relate to why people have to get so unnecessarily catty with me.

I'm going to be newly self employed because I wanted to remove myself from these sort of bad vibes in working for other people so as a self employed person, I think it's still important to avoid people with these qualities to be fair. Even if I had a client who was willing to pay me well for my work and make lots of bookings but make me feel bad in the process I would probably just say I'm fully booked next time.

 

[adamlea87]

Anyways, I asked her if she knew anyone who might be interested in having a treatment or two once I'm up and running to which she replied "I do know a few ladies who would be in the market for a treatment but they would be looking for someone more experienced".

The way I read that, was that she knows her friends would prefer more experienced therapist, and by experienced this can simply mean 'older'. I know from working in a hair salon, that some clients will simply prefer to have an older stylist doing their hair, and I think the connotation is that they will be more 'experienced'.

Even if she was being bitchy, and up-supportive, on the other hand I think in some situations, peoples family and friends can be overly-positive about their new business ventures, lulling them into a false sense of security. (not meaning to sound negative lol)

 

[virtues2011]

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it!
Xx

If I ever got that angry the other person probably would suffer the same fate ...from me forcing it down their throat. ..lol

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[Mobile Manicure]

Wow. I'm appalled at how negative some of your family and friends are!

Nobody and I mean none of my family or friends have uttered a negative word about about my business. They have all been fully supportive of me, and go out of their way to help and support me.

There's a LOT to be said for positive thinking, and surrounding yourself with positive people will do you the world of good.

Ignore those with the negative points of view. Believe in yourself. You can do it. You will succeed. Xx

As your name states, you are definitely unique. You're very lucky to be supported by such lovely people. I find it very hard to find positive people in my day to day life. Apart from on SG, where are they?

 

[virtues2011]

As your name states, you are definitely unique. You're very lucky to be supported by such lovely people. I find it very hard to find positive people in my day to day life. Apart from on SG, where are they?

Ha ha MM... there are very few left on here to be fair. .. have you read half these threads. ..lol.

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[Twinners]

I have this same issue. The ONLY person that believes in me is my fiancé. My parents treat nails as a glorified hobby and I'm wasting money in trying to finish my education and set up a business. His parents think much the same. I had a friend (luckily) in for lashes a few months ago and the new adhesive just would not set. I told my mil and she said I shouldn't be messing about with these things when I don't know what I'm doing!!! Excuse me? I've been qualified and doing lashes for 3 years and that was the first and only issue I've had! I asked her if my sil would want to be have me do her nail enhancements after I've qualified. I was told that no, she prefers the place in town (nss) as they always do a good job... Roll eyes...xx


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[laurakate]

I have this same issue. The ONLY person that believes in me is my fiancé. My parents treat nails as a glorified hobby and I'm wasting money in trying to finish my education and set up a business. His parents think much the same. I had a friend (luckily) in for lashes a few months ago and the new adhesive just would not set. I told my mil and she said I shouldn't be messing about with these things when I don't know what I'm doing!!! Excuse me? I've been qualified and doing lashes for 3 years and that was the first and only issue I've had! I asked her if my sil would want to be have me do her nail enhancements after I've qualified. I was told that no, she prefers the place in town (nss) as they always do a good job... Roll eyes...xx


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I can empathise with this. I'm not going to say anything to people who doubt me about my business/career life now because I just think why give people information that they can sadistically turn into what they consider to be ammo. Keeping them outta the loop innit.