Why won't doctors listen-any geeks with Autistic/Aspergers children?

[Mommabear]

Hiya geeks

Im back with another dilemma lol

Ive had an incline for around 18months that my youngest son is on the spectrum (hes now 4)

Ive been to the doctors, and from his mouth "hes not autistic you dont want to label your child with something like that"..............and that was it!! He looked at me like i had 4 heads......maybe with the shocked look on my face from his reply that could be why!!
Im adamant there is something there, my little boy is a funny little egg, at the minute im struggling with how to deal with certain situations that im dealt with.

Im fully aware of what kids can be like lol i know certain things he does he is either being naughty/cheeky/tired etc. Some things i just cant pull away from!

I did an online test (i know i know you shouldnt) he scored 200 on the test being highly likely he is autistic.

What can i do? Do i go to another doctor and chance it? Any other avenues i can try?

Thanks geeks
Xxxxxxxx

 

[pure]

Is your son in pre-school or primary yet. If so do any staff share your concerns? If they do can they also push for an assessment? Also what about your health visitor?

 

[LeilaM]

Hiya geeks

Im back with another dilemma lol

Ive had an incline for around 18months that my youngest son is on the spectrum (hes now 4)

Ive been to the doctors, and from his mouth "hes not autistic you dont want to label your child with something like that"..............and that was it!! He looked at me like i had 4 heads......maybe with the shocked look on my face from his reply that could be why!!
Im adamant there is something there, my little boy is a funny little egg, at the minute im struggling with how to deal with certain situations that im dealt with.

Im fully aware of what kids can be like lol i know certain things he does he is either being naughty/cheeky/tired etc. Some things i just cant pull away from!

I did an online test (i know i know you shouldnt) he scored 200 on the test being highly likely he is autistic.

What can i do? Do i go to another doctor and chance it? Any other avenues i can try?

Thanks geeks
Xxxxxxxx

I would try another doctor first and ask for your son to be assessed, it's your right if you have concerns. Express that as he will be starting school soon I presume ? if you're correct then he will need extra support. I finally had my middle son assessed but to be honest it wasn't great and we did give up with the centre where we were sent. The school my son goes to has been very supportive as he gets in trouble for being various things like lack of concentration, no focus, no organisation, amongst a few others. My son has never been diagnosed with autism but I feel he has a mild form of ADHD, he also has epilepsy so maybe this could be partly to blame.
I hope you can get the support you and your son needs x

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[AcidPerm]

Try mumsnet. They have lots of chat forums with parents and doctors participating. You'll find a lot of very experienced parents on there who can give you advice and support.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs

 

[Mommabear]

Thanks geeks he starts full time primary in september. I havent really approached his nursery woth the subject in fear of getting fobbed off like my doctor. I will try mumsnet and another doctor an see were i can get xz

 

[lfbarnett717]

Hi,
I work in this field in my day job (nails is my second job) and I used to teach reception - this is my best recommendation about how to approach your child's new school. I would see how he settles into school - some children adapt better to school than nursery, and the stricter routine and structure may help him. Then after a couple of weeks approach the class teacher and ask to meet with them and the school SENCO (special needs coordinator) and express your concerns, and see if they have noticed anything themselves - the whole Early Years curriculum is based on observing children so they will spot anything out of the ordinary. The school then usually have the power to have children assessed if they share your concerns - however I know that common practice is not to diagnose Autism until at least the age of 6/7. Hopefully that helps - I have worked with Autistic students of all ages for the past 7 years so pm me if you want any help or advice - think I've been on every training course going!! Take care and try not to worry xx

 

[pinkcouture]

Wow i didn't know they don't normally diagnose until that age! My son was first assessed at 2 and a half and diagnosed by his 3rd birthday! I would say wait and see how he gets on at school and then approach the school in a few months if you are still concerned.

 

[sallysally]

Hi mommabear

I am going to be truthful as heartless as I sound but the exact same thing happened with my cousin.She was convinced her daughter was on the spectrum she was also advised by Doctor that there was nothing wrong.It caused a terrible divide with her parents as they too could not understand why she would want to push an autistic label on her daughter.

She was going through a turbulent time with her child's father as they weren't together and she always seemed to attract drama with new boyfriends etc and all round wasn't providing a secure safe environment for her daughter.

How ever she pushed and pushed and finally got her diagnosed...much to the sadness of her grandparents as they really believed as I did there was nothing wrong with this child she just needed a mother that was secure and made her secure.

She also had her registered disabled.the child is now 11 is perfectly normal but unfortunately has the stigma over her head of been on the spectrum and disabled and is struggling to get accepted into a main stream secondary school.i know this sounds awful but my cousin is more than happy with this as she receives plenty of disability benefits and carers allowance

The girl spends a lot of time with her father who is in a stable and secure new marriage and she is perfectly normal when with him.

All I am saying is think long and hard before you label your child with something that may be a hinderance later on in their life.

I know there are lots and lots of young children that need help and are on the spectrum and if that is your son then I really really hope he gets the help he needs.Before anyone jumps down my throat I am not likening mommabear to my cousin in anyway I am just simply sharing my storey about someone that has pushed for a diagnoses that was needed.

I hope you find the right path to take

X

 

[lfbarnett717]

Wow i didn't know they don't normally diagnose until that age! My son was first assessed at 2 and a half and diagnosed by his 3rd birthday! I would say wait and see how he gets on at school and then approach the school in a few months if you are still concerned.

Wow - that's certainly an early diagnosis! It does depend on how much it presents and what needs the child has arising from the autism, but in mainstream schools where I live and work, 6/7 is the average! Xx

 

[Snowblind]

I'm not all that knowledgeable in the area and know very little about actually diagnosing autism but my bread and butter is with training assistance dogs and many of them go to families with autistic children. There are kids from as young as 3 years old. I don't know if it's good or bad but they do have the diagnosis (they need to to get a dog).

My heart goes out to you. I really hope you will get an answer

 

[Mommabear]

Thank you geeks i really appreciate all your input.
Sallysally, pardon me for commenting on the situation but that sounds awful she is quiet happy to claim the associated benefits when her child seems to be fine? I understand that situation completely, its hard as when certain things happen i do sit there and think........hes just being a child lol but other things arise (at the moment its the temper tantrums....if i can call them that, i cant even describe what they are they are dreadful. He gets himself in such a mess and i dont know how to calm him down, ive tried allsorts.

I started to notice it more when i split up with his dad 18months ago and moved back home to my parents......by god he did not like the change.....his dad also messed me around when he would have the boys and in turn it made his behaviour rather eratic at times.......the last 12months he hasnt seen his dad an i have, sort of, got him on an even level but theres still room for improvement lol
I actually didnt know you could claim dla for autism? I thought (call me naive) that you could only claim for phsyical disabilities? My little brother has cerebal paulsy and know my mum claims dla for him.

I dont want to push for a diagnosis should i say as, its the signs that are showing themselves are sometimes really hard to deal with and if anything id like to be pushed in the right direction by the doctors as to whocan help me/what i can do, wether it be to liase with social workers or people that specifically work in that particular field to show/tell me different techniques of dealing with these situations.

Im waffling again haha xx

 

[Mommabear]

Would you call this bratty behaviour or a bit strange?

My little egg DOES NOT like a hoover being anywere near our bedroom when he goes to bed, if it is he will ask me to take it downstairs.

We stay at my boyfriends house every now and then and he keeps his hoover in his bedroom......when i put my little egg to bed it HAS GOT to be removed.

In either on these situations if i say no dont be silly they are fine there......World War 3 kicks off!!
Any thoughts? Be as blunt as you like.....but gentle haha xx

 

[kellybeauty]

Mommabear, your comments sound like my story I have got going on with my 4 year old.
I am positive my daughter is on the spectrum but time and time again the docs have either said she's too clever to be autistic or its because I am divorced from her father etc etc they have always got an excuse.
My daughter starts 'big school' in September so hopefully the school can back me up in getting a diagnosis so I can have a better understanding how she sees the world xx

 

[Niksmiss]

Hi,

I'm a mum of 3 and my 15 year old and soon to be 9 year are autistic (my eldest 18 and not autistic).

With my 15 year old I pushed and pushed for an assessment and the first 'specialist' was convinced he isn't. This was when he was 5. I wasn't convinced so asked my health visitor to push for another referral. I finally got one in another development centre specialising in ASD and ADHD and when he was 8 he got his diagnosis.

My youngest got diagnosed when she was 2. I recognised a lot of similarities between her and her brother and spoke to my health visitor with my concerns. She agreed after observing her and got my referral through with my daughter.

Now, to do something like this is not pushing a label on your child, but when you know there is something you want to be sure one way or another.

Living with autism isn't easy but my son has calmed down a lot in the past few years so depending on where they are on the spectrum it can get easier.

An ASD diagnosis is not a label, it's a way of understanding how best to handle what your child is going through and do what you possibly can for them.

Sorry, just saw the heading in the 'unread' section here and it caught my attention.

All the best and lots of blessings xxx

 

[Niksmiss]

Would you call this bratty behaviour or a bit strange?

My little egg DOES NOT like a hoover being anywere near our bedroom when he goes to bed, if it is he will ask me to take it downstairs.

We stay at my boyfriends house every now and then and he keeps his hoover in his bedroom......when i put my little egg to bed it HAS GOT to be removed.

In either on these situations if i say no dont be silly they are fine there......World War 3 kicks off!!
Any thoughts? Be as blunt as you like.....but gentle haha xx

This does not sound bratty to me at all. We all have our little quirks and children and adults on the spectrum have quirks a little stranger (with my youngest daughter it's her hair, when she was younger she refused to have it brushed, now she hates it down unless it's getting brushed, if she takes her bobble out all hell breaks loose with screaming until one of us puts it back in).

 

[Niksmiss]

I actually didnt know you could claim dla for autism? I thought (call me naive) that you could only claim for phsyical disabilities? My little brother has cerebal paulsy and know my mum claims dla for him.

Yes you can, and if you claim child tax credit the disability element can be added to it.

Reading the rest of your post hit a nerve with the tantrums.
My son used to purposely throw himself down and bang his head on the floor when he was a toddler, it was worse when we were outside and it was the concrete ground! I used to get kicked and punched and I felt I was doing something wrong as a parent. Thankfully he is a lot calmer and even helps around the house without any prompting. My youngest daughter doesn't have the violent tendencies thank goodness. It's just frustrating when she is looking for something and we can't figure out what it is. We communicate with her with Makaton but if she doesn't know what she is looking for is called she will sign the colour of it so you can imagine how it can be when she's looking for a certain pink item and nearly everything she has is pink! Lol

Best of luck with everything my lovely.

 

[Mommabear]

Mommabear, your comments sound like my story I have got going on with my 4 year old.
I am positive my daughter is on the spectrum but time and time again the docs have either said she's too clever to be autistic or its because I am divorced from her father etc etc they have always got an excuse.
My daughter starts 'big school' in September so hopefully the school can back me up in getting a diagnosis so I can have a better understanding how she sees the world xx

My son starts spetember too. Would you mind if i private messaged you? Xx

 

[Mommabear]

Hi,

I'm a mum of 3 and my 15 year old and soon to be 9 year are autistic (my eldest 18 and not autistic).

With my 15 year old I pushed and pushed for an assessment and the first 'specialist' was convinced he isn't. This was when he was 5. I wasn't convinced so asked my health visitor to push for another referral. I finally got one in another development centre specialising in ASD and ADHD and when he was 8 he got his diagnosis.

My youngest got diagnosed when she was 2. I recognised a lot of similarities between her and her brother and spoke to my health visitor with my concerns. She agreed after observing her and got my referral through with my daughter.

Now, to do something like this is not pushing a label on your child, but when you know there is something you want to be sure one way or another.

Living with autism isn't easy but my son has calmed down a lot in the past few years so depending on where they are on the spectrum it can get easier.

An ASD diagnosis is not a label, it's a way of understanding how best to handle what your child is going through and do what you possibly can for them.

Sorry, just saw the heading in the 'unread' section here and it caught my attention.

All the best and lots of blessings xxx

the doctor said "you dont want to label your child"........but like you have said and i agree, your not labelling your child at all, i would never see it like that. My only goal is to have a diagnosis and to have whatever help there is to help me deal with the situations im faced with, like you have said, its really hard. And because i havent got a diagnosis i can only deal with things the way i think it should be dealt with, 99% of the time it doesnt work so i need to know what i can do. I feel like a lot of it sometimes is frustration as his vocabulary isnt like his brothers used to be at his age (eldest is now 7) he didnt start walking toll he was 17months old. Only in the last few weeks has he started to use a fork with his dinner.

Another struggle i have is tea time and all around food. We have a varied diet, meat veg pasta rice etc (living with the parents an having to cook for 8 it has got to be varied lol) he loves alot of food (sprouts especially haha) but my issue is getting him to actually eat it....we can be sat there for an hour an he wont eat it......although he couldve had the same thing a week ago and ate the lot straight away. Its not that he doesnt like the food, he loves new potatoes when we have a roast so i will do them for him....but if he doesnt want to eat anything he wont, he will just sit there an stare at it lol
Xx

 

[sallysally]

It really does baffle me why people want to push to get their child labelled????

 

[Niksmiss]

the doctor said "you dont want to label your child"........but like you have said and i agree, your not labelling your child at all, i would never see it like that. My only goal is to have a diagnosis and to have whatever help there is to help me deal with the situations im faced with, like you have said, its really hard. And because i havent got a diagnosis i can only deal with things the way i think it should be dealt with, 99% of the time it doesnt work so i need to know what i can do. I feel like a lot of it sometimes is frustration as his vocabulary isnt like his brothers used to be at his age (eldest is now 7) he didnt start walking toll he was 17months old. Only in the last few weeks has he started to use a fork with his dinner.

Another struggle i have is tea time and all around food. We have a varied diet, meat veg pasta rice etc (living with the parents an having to cook for 8 it has got to be varied lol) he loves alot of food (sprouts especially haha) but my issue is getting him to actually eat it....we can be sat there for an hour an he wont eat it......although he couldve had the same thing a week ago and ate the lot straight away. Its not that he doesnt like the food, he loves new potatoes when we have a roast so i will do them for him....but if he doesnt want to eat anything he wont, he will just sit there an stare at it lol
Xx

Food can be a hot and miss. My youngest will be 9 tomorrow and she has only just recently started to accept new foods put down. It is a drain buying and making the same things. This is a long process. My son is now willing to try anything whereas before it was a nogo area!