Worried about male massage

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stephrae82

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I had an email from a man last week asking if I did massage. I said I did and he said how massage was his guilty pleasure and that he liked his bum and tummy being rubbed and could I do this. I said to him that I did not that I just concentrate on the back, legs and face. I thought he sounded a bit dodgy.

Anyway today I received a text asking if I had an appointment for a massage today and it was signed mark. This was the same name that was in the email. I said I didn't have any app today and he asked if I had Friday. I think it's the same person cause bit weird to get two enquiries about massage from a mark. I've booked him in for Friday but I'm slightly nervous about it.

I rent a room in a hair salon so the owner and another girl will be there but I'm worried about if he starts asking for his bum and tummy rubbed. I've said already I don't do this. If he starts asking I probably will walk out.

Feeling really sicky about going to work on Friday. Doesn't help that this is my first male massage client.
 

jujojones

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If you don't feel comfortable then cancel!! If I feel uncomfortable with a client (male or female) then I don't do it! Trust your instinct x x
 

jujojones

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If you do decide to do it, and during treatment he does ask or makes you feel uncomfortable, act confident , tell him his behavior is not appropriate and he will need to get dressed and you will meet him at reception for full payment .
 

Steph86

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As said above if u don't feel comfortable then cancel, I have read a few geeks send an appoinment reminder via text and on the end just state it is a stictly professional service only.

If you want to go ahead (at least u have people in the salon with u) take payment up front, and walk out if he starts to creep u out.

I know some only offer back, neck and shoulders treatments to men.

Good luck xx
 

shedunlop

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Why on earth have you booked him in my darling if you are not happy about it. No one has to do anything they don't want to do and especially being self employed, we can turn anyone away for any reason, it's one of the perks.

I would cancel the appointment, you will feel so much better about it. Even if you feel silly, even if you are being silly and he is a really genuine guy, if you feel uncomfortable it is just not worth it. :D
 

eternalscot

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That happened to me when I was new I was in my salon alone and only 22. He was a creep and complained I did not massage his bum. I did do his tummy and he kept dropping the towel with his penis hanging out.. Yuck, avoid avoid...
 

shedunlop

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It is not altogether unusual for a respectable man to want his bottom and stomach massaged, it doesn't have to be odd and he may have been asking as he has found that many female therapists don't do that. Having said that, once you have stated that you don't that should be the end of it, he either accepts that or he goes elsewhere. It is up to you what you offer and it is up to clients to accept it or find someone else to use.

I have had both types of men for massage when I used to do them and I found it more annoying than anything else and disrespectful. I did do their bottoms and stomachs but some hinted or even asked outright if I went further than that. Massages ended there and they were asked to leave.:D
 

Tinxy

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I'm torn here because I appreciate that I'm very physically confident and queries like this just doesn't phase me... I guess I'm getting old! ;)

Absolutely it's not a nice thing to be asked, but like shedunlop I just get a little annoyed more than anything :) Then again I've been round the block a few times and I suspect my milage has been reset too when the inspectors weren't paying attention ;)

I would suggest a text reminder the day before with "This is your reminder for your Full Body Massage appointment with *you* - time and date - please ensure you have read the full T&Cs and our pre and post care advise on the website before your appointment - we look forward to seeing you!" - In your T&Cs make sure you have as point 1 - No inappropriate suggestions will be entertained. Our therapists are trained professionals and any behaviour that is threatening or inappropriate will end your session immediately and full payment will be due.
 

beauty_sarah

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I'm torn here because I appreciate that I'm very physically confident and queries like this just doesn't phase me... I guess I'm getting old! ;)

Absolutely it's not a nice thing to be asked, but like shedunlop I just get a little annoyed more than anything :) Then again I've been round the block a few times and I suspect my milage has been reset too when the inspectors weren't paying attention ;)

I would suggest a text reminder the day before with "This is your reminder for your Full Body Massage appointment with *you* - time and date - please ensure you have read the full T&Cs and our pre and post care advise on the website before your appointment - we look forward to seeing you!" - In your T&Cs make sure you have as point 1 - No inappropriate suggestions will be entertained. Our therapists are trained professionals and any behaviour that is threatening or inappropriate will end your session immediately and full payment will be due.
I like it!! Nice wording!! We shouldn't have to put up with this, we are trained people not objects!! I have a regular male client n not once has he said anything that's made me uncomfortable! I would see how it goes, ask one of the girls to check on u through the treatment xx
 

jacqueline

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I massage the gluts as part of every full body, it is generally done with fists or if trigger point, elbows, this will soon take his mind of anything else believe me!

As for massaging the stomach, it isn't part of a massage therapy/regular massage over here and this would only be done if the client had gastric or muscular injuries sort of thing.

When I get a new male client I discuss the massage and also direct them to my website initially where it informs them about "no funny business" without me having to say it to them as I do not want to make them uncomfortable.

It is easier for me I guess as massage therapy is a healthcare profession in the States so it is unlikely that anyone will try anything I would be uncomfortable with.

I am also a confident, no nonsense sort of person so I would deal with anything as and when it happens but you will know from the get go so just be matter of fact about it with him if he goes on about massaging this and that.
 

Melk

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I massage lots of men, I don't do stomachs much on anyone most people don't like the thought of it. But would have np problem if someone requested it. I do do iliopoas and poas streaching though. Glutes I do to towel line and it's usually a stripping technique with trigger point work. I've never had a client act inappropriately as it's clear I'm a remedial therapist. Only once did I have a odd ph call asking if I did extras repeatedly, I hung up in the end after repeatedly stating I don't was a bit shocked at that one. If anyone made inappropriate suggestions while I was massaging I'd walk out, as taught. It's hard here in oz as prostitutes call themselves massage therapists so confusion excists but if they are booking in a salon or clinic it's fairly obvious unless your a moron that sex isn't part of the service.
 

Dol

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My massage therapist massages the glutes but through a towel. I send my other half for a massage with her regularly. I'm sure he hasn't tried anything funny with her, she'd likely slap him. Lol
 

JMABEAUTY

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We massage stomachs as it's one of the main places that holds tension, yes some do get the odd erection but with experience you just ignore it.
 

Sam81

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I had a guy once for a full body massage who made inappropriate conversation and then decided to show me something inappropriate too, I'd made it perfectly clear throughout the appointment that it was a strictly professional service I was offering, he was just a weirdo. I wish I'd trusted my instincts and asked him to leave before it got to the, errr, end result lol! As a result I only offer back, neck & shoulders to new male clients and once I feel comfortable with them I extend to full body if they require it. I've probably lost out on a couple of clients but in my opinion it's more than worth it to feel safe and comfortable in my environment.
 

stephrae82

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Thanks for all the replies ladies. I couldn't sleep last night worrying about what to do. But this morning the man text to cancel his appointment and said he would be in touch to rearrange and that he wants a lovely soft relaxing massage.

So I'll see if he gets in touch again. I like the idea of just offering head, neck and shoulders to start with for males. Might try that x
 

Tinxy

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I massage stomachs too - it's part of the ITEC syllabus and I don't know why you wouldn't massage it as part of your routine if there are no contraindications?
when a client relaxes then there is always a possibility of an erection - same as with intimate waxing - Ignore it... that's what I do - it's a normal body reaction for some people and doesn't mean they are weirdos...

As I don't do deep tissue I don't massage the gluts - but I expect if you did then it certainly wouldn't be relaxing ROTFL ;)

Ultimately only deal with clients you feel happy treating - if you don't feel able to treat male clients then maybe look up good therapists nearby who do and direct them there?
I imagine it must be difficult for the guys to relax when they are always worried about being labelled as a perv... I know my husband goes for massages and I doubt the girls there worry about him - but then he mainly has deep tissue and they do beat him up when he goes LOL At least that's what he tells me ;)
 

Cat.

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I dont see a problem with massaging the stomach or glutes at all but i can completely see where you have come from and i would trust your instinct i unfortunetly in my first six months of setting up had two very odd male clients who made me hugely uncomfortable and one behaved very innapropriately so i now only accept male clients i know or who are husbands/brothers/sons etc. of my regular female clients and i always make sure someones around!! Of course most male clients are perfectly fine and geniune nice guys :) but if i have learnt one thing its to trust your instinct and its your business you dont have to do anything you dont want too!!
 

stephrae82

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I don't see a problem massaging that parts it was more the way he went about asking. Like asking if I had somewhere to massage him because he couldn't do it at his home as its his guilty secret. He just sounded a bit odd.
 

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