Tanfastic2
Well-Known Member
my bf is an estate agent and getting really stressed at work but is now taking it out on me telling me to **** off i have had enough only thing is we have a house together.
What to do?
What to do?
Boyfriend troubles
- Thread starter Tanfastic2
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fascinationkt
Well-Known Member
Have you talked to him about his moods & unacceptable attitude towards you?
Tanfastic2
Well-Known Member
yeah every argument says such hurtfull things just had enough of it now
SmartDesigns
Well-Known Member
The best bet would be just to give him his space for now I would say. When you've got a lot going on in your mind, deep conversations or even just small talk can really annoy some people.
If you just be there and not react to his moods he SHOULD slowly drop out of them.
If you just be there and not react to his moods he SHOULD slowly drop out of them.
fascinationkt
Well-Known Member
I'd back completely off. Don't be a door mat. No matter how stressed someone is does not give them the excuse to treat people badly.
How ever at the same time you need to Annalise your own behaviour, because you are upset & hurt you need to check that your not pushing his buttons & antagonising him further.
Have some space for your self & some space for him. Walk away from conflict & see how that goes.
How ever at the same time you need to Annalise your own behaviour, because you are upset & hurt you need to check that your not pushing his buttons & antagonising him further.
Have some space for your self & some space for him. Walk away from conflict & see how that goes.
Ok, so he is stressed at work, so do what you can to help out by taking over the running of the home, shopping , cooking etc for the time being BUT tell him (in a very calm, unemotional voice) that you will not be spoken to like that, and that you will speak to him when he is ready without shouting or swearing and leave the room.
Tanfastic2
Well-Known Member
I have run the house the last week cooking and cleaning and ironing his shirts now had enough of doing it all and being spoken to so nasty
SmartDesigns
Well-Known Member
I have run the house the last week cooking and cleaning and ironing his shirts now had enough of doing it all and being spoken to so nasty
You're going the right way about it and like others have said you don't want to take it to the stage of being a door mat.
I'd say continue as you are, BUT with the added advice of giving you both the space
Tanfastic2
Well-Known Member
thank you Im going to stay at my mums for a few days let him calm down
I have run the house the last week cooking and cleaning and ironing his shirts now had enough of doing it all and being spoken to so nasty
A week isn't really a long time though, and I don't mean that to belittle your efforts but to say that if he is so stressed, it will take longer than a week for him to be able to change that.
Let him know that you acknowledge that he is stressed so to give him a break, you will take over the general running of the house and home but you expect him to do something about the situation causing him the stress within the next few weeks and months so that you can go back to leading the happy life you had before.
Spa Therapist
Well-Known Member
I feel your pain!
This is advice that i wish i had heard before
rippersroo
Well-Known Member
In your first post you wrote "I've had enough only thing is we have a house together"
So is it you've only had enough of his bad mood or enough of everything? Just sounds like you were maybe thinking of packing it all in as you say about the house?x
So is it you've only had enough of his bad mood or enough of everything? Just sounds like you were maybe thinking of packing it all in as you say about the house?x
GemmaArmstrong
Active Member
A house isn't a reason to stay with somebody if you are not happy... Everything always sorts so if that's what's keeping you there then that's what you need to sort out.. xxx
I went through years of hell while my boyfriend was unemployed, I felt like walking away so many times, but I knew he was still the guy I met, and he was worth the wait and effort as we are stronger and happier after getting through the tough times, but now the tables are turned and he is supporting me through some really tough stuff right now and I know I'm horrible to him some days but I know we can just get through anything now. Xxx
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Sent from my ST23i using SalonGeek mobile app
Tanfastic2
Well-Known Member
Well i gave him some space last night and stayed at my mums then got a message from him this morning saying he doesnt think im cut out for this and hes having a serious think!
what the hell do i do now I dont wanna break up
what the hell do i do now I dont wanna break up
SmartDesigns
Well-Known Member
Well i gave him some space last night and stayed at my mums then got a message from him this morning saying he doesnt think im cut out for this and hes having a serious think!
what the hell do i do now I dont wanna break up
That was probably TOO much space. I would say he needs you around, though he is not showing it very well.
Sounds to me like he has enough to think about so with you not being there, he has now that hanging on him which will just make him feel worse.
I would just speak to him and say you are sorry that you left him alone for the night but you just thought that was best to give him the space he needed. I would let him know you now know that wasn't the best step but that you're there for him if he needs you.
Being as nice and non confrontational as possible should eventually get you where you want to be and in the long run once it is all over, he will have some making up to do
MissyMuffin
Well-Known Member
Well i gave him some space last night and stayed at my mums then got a message from him this morning saying he doesnt think im cut out for this and hes having a serious think!
what the hell do i do now I dont wanna break up
Let him have his serious think.
Don't try to convince him it's all ok, men don't see that as anything but manipulation.
Separation is always a risk, we all hope absence will make the heart grow fonder but the risk is that they actually prefer it.
Well i gave him some space last night and stayed at my mums then got a message from him this morning saying he doesnt think im cut out for this and hes having a serious think!
what the hell do i do now I dont wanna break up
I think what's needed is a serious heart to heart, where you calmly explain your hurt feelings and he explains his with no shouting or arguing, just trying to understand each others feelings. He needs to understand why you gave him space. He maybe felt you were running away and not supporting him, so you need him to understand that wasn't the case and why (I'm not saying that's how he felt, just giving it as an example). X
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xxsarahj25xx
Well-Known Member
People are probably going to disagree with me here...
All this she should be supporting him and appologise for leaving him alone... wtf!!
What stresses him at work is not her fault and he has no right to treat her like a piece of s#!t! If they had kids i suppose it would be ok for him to speak to them like that and all!?
Be glad all you have together is bricks n water! Tell him its not on n you're not having it!! He will either see his a$$ n beg you to stay or carry on in which case you know what to do! Lifes too short to spend it unhappy!
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All this she should be supporting him and appologise for leaving him alone... wtf!!
What stresses him at work is not her fault and he has no right to treat her like a piece of s#!t! If they had kids i suppose it would be ok for him to speak to them like that and all!?
Be glad all you have together is bricks n water! Tell him its not on n you're not having it!! He will either see his a$$ n beg you to stay or carry on in which case you know what to do! Lifes too short to spend it unhappy!
Sent from my LG-E430 using SalonGeek mobile app
