Broken heart?

[Isabellamae]

Do you think it's possible for what ever reason, grief or breakup etc to have a broken heart?

Before this week I would of said yes you get a really sad when your heart broken, however, I truly believe in a broken heart now!!

My heart aches, my stomach churns with loneliness although I am around people and I just can't face eating!! I feel like I'm in such a sad place and my heart genuinely hurts!

I have Been looking into holistic routes to help ( whether it's energies or placebo I'll take either!)

I haven't written this for lots of sympathy I will be fine and come out the other side, I just sat wondering if any of you have felt like this just for a little reassurance Xx

 

[KHS]

I'd it's over a close friend or a loved one passing away, then yes, it's a natural process.

If it's over a break up - no, it clearly wasn't meant to be, for whatever reason, so I'd just wallow in self pity for a day, brush myself down and get on with it .my son is more important and needs to get a grip for his sake

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[Trinity]

Aw! Sweetheart, we have ALL had our hearts broken at some point in time, it's horrible, it sucks and right now it feels like it will never heal :hug:

You will get through it, and you will look back and wonder why you were so upset. It's easy for an old bird like me to say, but trust me, time heals all wounds.

Be kind to yourself, cry if you need to, but remember...you deserve someone amazing :hug:

 

[Isabellamae]

Well the thing is it's not over a break up...my husband said some awful things the other day that I can't let go....he is such a nice person which is why I think it really hit me, and he has now tried to explain his way out of it saying he didn't mean it, however we were not arguing everything was fine it was a simple discussion. I now feel like he must have meant it. He has apologised and moved on and I'm stuck with his words whirling round my head....I just don't see how I can move on because it hurt so much and I just don't know how he REALLY feels...he hasn't cheated or anything horrific....I'm just not sure I can move on from it... Sorry I didn't want to moan !!

 

[Isabellamae]

I feel awful now that my only personal threat is a negative one! I'm not normally such a Debbie downer and thank you for your kind words xx

 

[MissyMuffin]

There will always be bad things happen in a relationship, you have to look at things on a balance. Are the good things worth the bad things? Quite often they are.
No amount of good things can make up for abuse etc but words are easily spoken and in some ways better said than hidden. You will find a way to deal with what has come out I'm sure.

 

[Elaine Armani]

I never knew there was a such thing as being "broken hearted" or genuinely sad until about a year ago. I thought that everyone that claimed to be heartbroken, sad or depressed was just being an attention seeker.
I know the feeling and it definitely exists, it's also very hard for it to go away, it does fade away slowly slowly but I don't think it ever goes 100%.

I agree with MissyMuffin, I don't think you could be that heartbroken over a relationship that wasn't meant to be, although some people that haven't experienced much when it comes to relos may take it harder than others but it eventually does go.

When it comes to other things, like friendship and other hardship in life it's much much harder because their isn't an explanation, with relationships, and things that are related to relationships, their really shouldn't ever be an explanation because I believe anyone that gets into one should know what they're getting themselves into, shouldn't trust ANYONE 100%, no matter if you own 10 houses together, have a huge family and have been married for 30 years. Everyone will always do what's best for their own good.
I've learnt not to let anyone be the result of my happiness, I don't care if I find Mr perfect, I'll never live my life and let it revolve around one person. Because I know whether I like it or not it won't be perfect, something always gets in the way.

I think I've gotten waaaaay off track but what I'm trying to say is that people say things that they don't mean, I'm sure your husband didn't mean it and don't get too caught up over it because there is a big world out there

 

[babychops]

When I was younger and used to break up with boyfriends I was heartbroken. But it wasn't until my mum died that I truly felt what being heartbroken was. I don't think anything would make me feel as heart broken as I did then.
Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? X

 

[Isabellamae]

Yes I have spoken to him and he is adamant that he didn't mean it. I just have to move on as our family is so beautiful and great most of the time. It's just hard to forget because he said he didn't think he cared any more and a comment about my weight (I have gone up two dress sizes in the last two years) . It's just so hard to shift the thoughts but I'll get there. So sorry I moaned to you all xx

 

[KHS]

Isabella sadly the male species don't see things and think like we do... Erm most don't think at all

He probably genuinely didn't think he did or sad anything hurtful. A bit like the "men from Mars, women from Venus"

"hugs" x

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[babychops]

Men don't really realise how much us woman take things to heart, he probably didn't mean it as he said but he should understand that it hurt you x

 

[HelloSORRISO]

Generally, women are sensitive. Most not all, but we are. No matter how hard faced we act on the exterior, we are a sensitive species. It's easy to let things get to us and eat away at us, especially when it's come from the one person you have vowed to love and adorn in sickness and health.

Everything written on this post Is easier said than done but you have to take baby steps to get back to being YOU! Never stop being YOU. Men sometimes don't think what they're saying before they say it because their consideration levels aren't all there. Again this applies to some men. My other half is sensitive yet masculine, but always considers a persons feelings before he will pull them up on something. a bit of an all rounder. I think it's purely because he's not had the easiest of lives and so wouldn't want to upset anyone else unnecessarily. Everyone is different in their approach to situations.

I think the best thing for you will be to use this horrible heartbroken feeling and turn it into a positive. Almost use it to fuel you to do bigger and better things. Get the confidence back, show your kids and hubby you're fun loving, make him realise he's wrong in what he's said and he'd be a fool to ever hurt you again.

This is my own personal experience in my own situation. I can understand that if there are children in the equation some of this won't apply to you. But things can be done as a family unit as well as on your own.

My partner broke my heart. Because of family issues he tried to be the "bigger person" and leave me because his family life was quite dysfunctional and didn't want it affecting or hurting me. when he left, I went out there in full force, became independent (I was quite reliable on him), went for weekend breaks by myself or with my girls, even went to job interviews 3 hours away from where we lived because I was deadly serious about making my life a beautiful adventure. Not because I wanted to show him i was strong but more so to prove to myself I didn't need a man to make things happen for me. I proved a LOT to myself and gained a hell of a lot of confidence. I became heavily involved with charities and giving back to worthy causes. in a month of us being apart so much ha happened, he had seen the independent woman I had became and made him realise I was strong enough to handle any crap his family through our way. He came back. It wasn't easy, our first 3 months were more me on edge about if I could trust him, his was more that I had become too strong and I would leave him but we compromised, we openly talked about whatever we were feeling and muddled through. We've been together for 3 and half years now and going strong.

as silly as it sounds, I've learnt to channel my thoughts and negative feels into positive thoughts and actions. Almost to kick those negative thoughts of my life. Now if in ever faced with a challenge I've learnt to deal with it as a lesson or a blessing in disguise. I've done this with the help of books like "Shift Happens" which is a self development kind of book. Okay I'm rambling on now but I do hope that you overcome this feelings. It's awful I know, I've felt "heart break" in many ways in different situations and I refuse to ever allow myself to feel that way again. I hope you can so the same too and soon x


x HelloSORRISO x

 

[Isabellamae]

Aww your all so sweet thank you!...I have just been putting all my energy into my family and trying to put it out of my head I'm sure in a few weeks I will be able to joke about it... Just having someone pick fault in your insecurities is an awful feeling, let alone your partner, someone who should support you and help build your confidence.

I probably just need to get a grip to be honest. Thank you all for replying. I didn't really have anyone here to talk to so it was nice to have other opinions on it...love to you all xx

 

[HelloSORRISO]

Aww your all so sweet thank you!...I have just been putting all my energy into my family and trying to put it out of my head I'm sure in a few weeks I will be able to joke about it... Just having someone pick fault in your insecurities is an awful feeling, let alone your partner, someone who should support you and help build your confidence.

I probably just need to get a grip to be honest. Thank you all for replying. I didn't really have anyone here to talk to so it was nice to have other opinions on it...love to you all xx

Us SG folk do tend to come together for a fellow geek. Keep smiling


x HelloSORRISO x

 

[SGordon91]

Yes! I truelly believe this. When me and my other half broke up I genuinely felt like my heart was breaking. I cried every night for a month! My friend would say "you've surely got to be over him now" but I wasn't. Even when I was out with them and smiling I genuinely felt so sad. I knew this wasn't right and we weren't meant to be apart and lo and behold we were back together a month and a half later but I genuinely felt so heart broken and nothing felt right and I've never felt like that before! Some people can bounce back from break ups or just be "sad" from them but I think I've found my soul mate and that's what made that harder.

As for loss of a loved one then yeah. I've lost a few people and I think you feel it then too.

 

[Nearlyme]

Have you ever thought that maybe he didn't mean it? That maybe you are over thinking it?

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[Isabellamae]

I asked him why he was in a slump for the past few weeks as he had seemed a little down and he said he wasn't sure if he cared any more because all he does is work constantly then come home to me and the girls....I asked if that why we were just saying good night and going to sleep and he replied it doesn't help that I have put on weight... I'm a tough cookie normally and I don't think I'm over thinking things...he has now said he didn't mean it how it come out but it's hard to see a fluffy light hearted side of comments like that....xx

 

[Nearlyme]

I asked him why he was in a slump for the past few weeks as he had seemed a little down and he said he wasn't sure if he cared any more because all he does is work constantly then come home to me and the girls....I asked if that why we were just saying good night and going to sleep and he replied it doesn't help that I have put on weight... I'm a tough cookie normally and I don't think I'm over thinking things...he has now said he didn't mean it how it come out but it's hard to see a fluffy light hearted side of comments like that....xx

Have you put on weight? If so maybe he is concerned for your health rather than your physical appearance?

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[Isabellamae]

I have but I have gone from a size 10 to a 12/14 after having two babies..I love your 'glass half full' approach...I think it's down to the fact we are a very honest couple, he had a thought, said it aloud, I fell apart as I'm already conscious about it and he has panicked and said he didn't mean it!

Taking a reality check, I have three family members going through cancer/chemo at the moment, my husband commenting on my weight is just not on the scale of life problems...

Chin up and if he wants to be here he will....and if not me and the girls will be fine...it just cut deep that was all. Xx

 

[Elaine Armani]

I have but I have gone from a size 10 to a 12/14 after having two babies..I love your 'glass half full' approach...I think it's down to the fact we are a very honest couple, he had a thought, said it aloud, I fell apart as I'm already conscious about it and he has panicked and said he didn't mean it!

Taking a reality check, I have three family members going through cancer/chemo at the moment, my husband commenting on my weight is just not on the scale of life problems...

Chin up and if he wants to be here he will....and if not me and the girls will be fine...it just cut deep that was all. Xx

You're a very positive person, don't stress men are idiots, they never think before they speak xx