bussiness VS family?

[lizzie27]

im just wondering?
ive had a successfull salon for two years now,
im not sure im the mother i used to be!!!
i used to be a stay at home mum.
do any of you feel like you've neglected your family over you bussiness?
i love them sooo much, but my hours are long!!!! and attitudes have changed.
my family are certainly better off now,
we have moved to a brand new house and gained 2 new cars in the space of me having the new salon!
i know money and material isnt everything so i dont need lectures in that....
but time-wise, its not me there!
just wondered if you feel you're a better person now or not?
my kids adore me, and i them, if not more now because of abscense, i feel like im the novelty item!
im starting to take more time off now, because ive employed 2 staff,
but it is so hard adjustin back into the roll i had before!!
does working ever become easier than the family?
plz only sincere replys!!!!
xxx:hug:

 

[Bagpuss]

Having my business has been better for my family...I was in a job I hated and this made me grumpy. Partner worked days and as he walked in the door i walked out to start my job in the evening....so we only saw each other at weekends.

I wouldn't say the kids missed out on time with me but they sure didn't get the best of me...cos i was so unhappy.

Since having my home salon I got back to being me...happy, fun and content.

I 100% believe its about being happy and having those around you happy....not money, houses or cars.. if someone took my house and car away but left me my family I would still be happy...if they took my family and left me my house and car...I wouldn't be. (that wasn't a lecture, just my thoughts..:hug)

 

[lizzie27]

10000% agree my family means the world to me, but im not in a job i hate, i love it!
its just that ive started a bussinesss and its such long hours!
im just looking for support from other mums that may have done the same thing and its been worth it xxx
dont care about the material balls x

 

[Bagpuss]

Its long hours now and understandably will be when you are building the business up...but as you have taken staff on now and can delegate more this will give you more time at home...I do believe that its not always about the amount of time you spend with your kids but more about the quality of that time.

I am sure your kids value the quality time thats spent with them....:hug:

 

[lizzie27]

Its long hours now and understandably will be when you are building the business up...but as you have taken staff on now and can delegate more this will give you more time at home...I do believe that its not always about the amount of time you spend with your kids but more about the quality of that time.

I am sure your kids value the quality time thats spent with them....:hug:

thnx, i no this for sure!
but they seem to be such daddys pets at the mo!
maybe im just feeling silly but i feel like ive lost control cos im not there any more;
might be because if i do say something dad has already set the rules, and im undermined on every turn, if i let them do something then im spoiling them, i just feel a bit out of control!!!!
its just too different! (shirley from easties is the funniest reference!)
not that its a joke, just my sister lightening the mood!!! xxx

 

[Doorie]

on a kid level...

I always had my father at home and my mother working lots as a nurse...
in the end, I've had many many many hard moments with my father that I can say I hated him for 10 yrs, now I simply ignore him, whereas I love my mom and she's maybe the most important person in my little world.

being a nurse means that she would work randomly and I would see very few and as I began working I have to travel lots and I rarely see her... but she is still my mom and all the moments we can spend together are blessed in my eyes.

you have indicators telling you if your kids "need" you really more. in a kind of vital need. check their school result, behaviour there...

I am fine, yours will be...

 

[champagne]

I have always worked full time (un-happily).

Snce i started my own business the hours have been longer but my kids have a much happier Mum !!!!

I feel like me again & this has had a great effect on my personal life ...... When the kids do see me im soooooo happy .....

Building a business is hard and the hours are long but the results will be so worth it ....

As far as the control of the kids goes, think you & hubby should have a chat and make sure that u r on the same hymn sheet ....You need to be together on the kids issue xx

 

[lizzie27]

on a kid level...

I always had my father at home and my mother working lots as a nurse...
in the end, I've had many many many hard moments with my father that I can say I hated him for 10 yrs, now I simply ignore him, whereas I love my mom and she's maybe the most important person in my little world.

being a nurse means that she would work randomly and I would see very few and as I began working I have to travel lots and I rarely see her... but she is still my mom and all the moments we can spend together are blessed in my eyes.

you have indicators telling you if your kids "need" you really more. in a kind of vital need. check their school result, behaviour there...

I am fine, yours will be...

thankyou, this encourages me no end, not that i want my kids to hate their dad, just that i dont want them to hate me!!!! lol
its nice to know you have such a nice relationship with your mum although she worked so hard....
to be honest my dad worked from 7 in the morn to 7 at night and i also idolised him,
its funny how you dont remember the times they were at work, just the times they were at home....:hug:

 

[Susie H]

My kids are grown now and I have done both bits, the stay at home mum and then the working mum.
The important thing for them was that I was calm and able to be there when needed.
The important thing for me was to be able to give them a dam site more than I had growing up, a mum who listened for starters and the bank balance that let them go on school trips etc.
As they get older its not important where the kids find you. At home or in the salon, what is important is that they find you with a welcoming smile and a listening ear:hug: and that they have the rock solid faith that you put them first.

 

[lizzie27]

My kids are grown now and I have done both bits, the stay at home mum and then the working mum.
The important thing for them was that I was calm and able to be there when needed.
The important thing for me was to be able to give them a dam site more than I had growing up, a mum who listened for starters and the bank balance that let them go on school trips etc.
As they get older its not important where the kids find you. At home or in the salon, what is important is that they find you with a welcoming smile and a listening ear:hug: and that they have the rock solid faith that you put them first.

thats lovely, you are right! think we all must get the guilty tinges sometimes!
it just breaks my heart when my little girl asks me if i can come home early, and i cant that day!
ive employed two staff, but they have kids at school too so if i want extra time off i can only usually take it between 9 and 3 then i have to take over from them! its hard in a mostly female industrie, to find really flexible staff.......
does anyone else find this?
xx

 

[Paigey G]

I totally sympathise with you ive had my salon 4 22 years! . but it does get easier my kids are 17 & 11 now and i;ve asked my 17 year old if he feels cheated by my working and he totally doesnt he loves the monetry bebefits too. my 11 year old is just going to secondry school now and im not needed so much, so you need to have a bit of a life 4 yourself as they get older.
Ive also been held to ransom by staff who also have kids but whose the boss here?
Try having a rota of finishing at 3pm, or quite often i do the school run then go back to work when my hubby comes home, I always book off plays, concerts, sportsdays etc let the others fill in these times are important and its for such a short time.I also take it in turns with them to have half terms and holidays off make sure you book yours first though there must be some give and take on both sides. Just learn to put your foot down its your business and your kids they come first if the staff dont like it tough, or get one younger full timer with no kids, as i now have its better, see i've got brutal in my old age HE HE!!! DONT FEEL GUILTY just plan and delegate more go girl!!

 

[lizzie27]

thnx youre right, i need to realise that their childcare isnt my prob, im just to nice i think, lol.
ive finally got two girls that are really good, and in the past i have found that the younger girls arent as good.....or get on as well with all the older clients, jmo!
i need to take control of my all of our time! ;0) xx