Does your ambition ever affect your relationships?

[dukeofyork]

title says it all,

having a funny time with the other half as my ambitions and dreams of success sometimes get on his nerves and he often asks why can i just have a normal
9 - 5 where we always know whats coming it and can be safe and secure.

(i have recently gone self employed with views to starting my own salon )

has your ambition every affected your relationships with partners friends or family ?

 

[Studio One]

title says it all,

having a funny time with the other half as my ambitions and dreams of success sometimes get on his nerves and he often asks why can i just have a normal
9 - 5 where we always know whats coming it and can be safe and secure.

(i have recently gone self employed with views to starting my own salon )

has your ambition every affected your relationships with partners friends or family ?

Does your partner work 9-5 Monday-Friday? Does he have any ambition? why should you feel bad if you want a better lifestyle in a few years and start to earn money for yourself and not to line someone else's pocket with all your hard work.

 

[lava shell quee]

it did with my ex he didnt see self emplyed in this industy as a " real job " complained when i was doing home visits cus i was out late ,complained when i worked on his day off as i should be spending time with him ( i always had togo to his house which involed a 20 min car journey ) basiclly told me i should stop playing at it and get a real job , needless to say this is why his my ex !:irked:

my new partner lets me do practice on his toes he went towork yetserday with a cystal pedicure ! he get excetited when i tell him how busy i am and dosnt mind when i have a few clients on his day off and loves it even when i only have half days off .
hopefully he will come round when he sees how happy you are and when the money comes rolling in best of luck

 

[nicole333]

Maybe he finds it hard to understand because from what you say he appears to be different to you in that way?

My other half didn't question me giving up a full time, reliable, eight till five, monday to friday job, to go to Uni and live on a bursary for three years. He encouraged me and remains proud of my achievements.
With regards to my nail business, he gets involved where he can and secretly enjoys being my guinae pig. I especially enjoy his business skills!

Try not to take it personally when he says those things, but continue focused on what you want to achieve. It's your life, your career and your future.

 

[jojo@tranquil]

I think its really hard having a sucsessful business and a sucsessful relationship ! I am having problems with my work/life balance at the moment, I dont switch off well and my husband feels neglected, but I am trying to move premises and employ staff etc and work 10 hour days almost, and then I am on the net geeking ! Lol.
I try to tell him I am doing it for our future and eventually my hard work will pay off ....I really hope so anyway !

 

[JoJo1980]

In my experience, relationships always come under strain as the partner feels threatened by your ambition.
The more successful you become, the more threatened they feel. Its bloody difficult keeping all the plates spinning at the same time - and more often than not, the Mr gets left on the back burner.... It all boils down to pride.
Im speaking from experience here. Talk talk talk and give him as much attention as you can when you can. It also helps to try and involve them too - like asking them to help do your books. Then tell them how much they help you out, how you couldnt do it without them blah blah blah....
Yes, massaging the ego helps alot.
I always said there were three people in any relationship... Me, Him and his Ego.
Bless em :wink2: xx

 

[MrsHBeauty]

Luckily I have a fab husband. He's really laid back, he doesn't care about being successfully, he doesn't care about anything.

He'd be a stay at home dad at the drop of a hat.

He works 9-5.39 mon - fri then every other Saturday am. I work 7 days a week most weeks, my sister has my youngest and try bigger 2 are at school. I usually finish when they finish school.

I am so focused on making my salon work I'm making myself ill. But he's there doing the housework, reading to the kids, doing their homework, ironing their uniform. He brings me a cuppa tea every morning.

At the minutes he's reading the kids a bedtime story and I'm in bed just about to go to sleep before a mega long day tomorrow kids will be up at 6am work 9am - 9pm tomorrow, Thursday 9 - 7 then Friday 9-3.

He does get fed up of working then coming home to a messy house, but I do as much as I can but it's not like before when I did everything. I just tell him all the time how I can't do it without him, I lie on the sofa and tell him I love him olds. I don't want to take him for granted and my family give me a slap when I do.

I love my pete

 

[pure]

I think there are people who have, and understand an entrepreneurial spirit and those who don't.

I am so lucky that my OH set his own business up some 14 years ago in his kitchen, he now employs over 10 staff and has an incredibly successful business. So he gets it. He funded my little business, gets as excited as I do when I'm busy and is happy to spend hours brainstorming ideas with me. If I went anywhere near him with a polish brush he'd run a mile tho!

It must be very difficult to enthuse someone who isn't business minded and who doesn't like to take risks.

 

[marion]

There is a website by Rori Ray, about relationships. Someone else mentioned it on here a few weeks ago, it might be helpful.

 

[marion]

Also I have to add that sometimes, my husband rings me at work and asks whats for dinner...??
Does my head in
I work long hours, 6days a week, and earn good money
..he thinks he is funny

 

[Nat-Nat]

I had terrible problems during my first year with my boyfriend, it didnt help that he was out of work too however sometimes I think they just feel left out! Now he does my accounts, website and some marketing for me and we havent had any problems since. Plus he's actually doing me a huge favour as I dont have the time to do half of what I want!

You know what men are like they like to get involved and me 'valued'! :biggrin:

 

[laurakate]

you're definately not on your own.

my other half is very supportive and i know that he wants me to be happy in my goal (he has taken a lot of steps to help me do this and i'll always be grateful for this).

there are times though where he gets annoyed that i work weekends and bank holidays and that i don't know in much advance when my days off will be. he's a 9 to 5 man so i can understand where he's coming from because lets face it, 9 to 5 hours would be lots nicer lol. BUT I would be sooooo bored doing a 9 to 5 job as there's nothing 9 to 5 that i find as stimulating as beauty.

 

[Annemarie]

title says it all,

having a funny time with the other half as my ambitions and dreams of success sometimes get on his nerves and he often asks why can i just have a normal
9 - 5 where we always know whats coming it and can be safe and secure.

(i have recently gone self employed with views to starting my own salon )

has your ambition every affected your relationships with partners friends or family ?

No. I'm very fortunate to have a really supportive partner. Don't know what I'd do without him sometimes hes fab. I need him even more now I'm opening up my own salon as he will be the one who has to pick our daughter up from school.:biggrin: He's also doing a lot of work in the salon. Bless him, he's a gem.:biggrin:
Although I don't think he'd be too chuffed if I wanted to crystal pedi his toes. Lol:biggrin:

 

[airendaie]

I think this sort of problem could come about for many reasons. There are people who don't 'get' the ambition of the self-employed. For them security is important and work is just a means to an end.

It could also be that your partner feels stuck in a rut doing whatever his job is. Maybe he feels a bit jealous of your initiative and opportunities. Maybe he would like to do the same thing but doesn't have as much support around him as you do.

Whatever the case, the important thing here is to sit down and talk it through together. If he understands your passion and you understand his worries then you can begin to work through the problem together. Hope you work something out

Air x

 

[TheBeautyRoomClinic]

Also I have to add that sometimes, my husband rings me at work and asks whats for dinner...??
Does my head in
I work long hours, 6days a week, and earn good money
..he thinks he is funny

lol so does mine AND gives me a shopping list of thing to pick up on my way home....... men

 

[xsasix]

I'm a mobile hairdresser and have been for years I cut my work right down because of my other halfs man moan lol....I'm now back full time ( if that's what you call it ) ie working none stop and he moans just as much as before ...he says all I talk about is hair and I don't do enough house work ...by the way I have 2 children I take to school and fetch back do them tea go back to work lol....I've come to the conclusion that some men just moan full stop

 

[sugar&spice]

My hubby's ace! He pushed me be comming a beautician & nail tech I was mobile for a couple of yrs and before I passed my test me used to give a lift and pick me up!. The only thing he did mind was having clients at home as he works 12hr days he didn't want ppl in the house so just before crimbo I opened my first salon . Even now he's still very good