I've read all the replies with interest, and you've received some fantastic support. I can see that you're feeling overwhelmed with everything at the moment, so I wanted to share with you a little story I read a few years back.
Now I did try and Google for this, but I couldn't find it, so I am writing this from memory. Forgive me for any errors, but it's late and I am tired.
Why not go put the kettle on, come back with a cuppa and relax while you read the story?
Go ON!!!!
OK, here we go.........
Many years ago, in a concentration camp, a newly arrived prisoner is stripped of his belongings. He is stripped of his name. He is stripped of his hair. He is stripped of his family and his identity. The only thing he has to look forward to is starvation, depression and despair.
On his first morning he becomes hopeful when the guard informs him, "We have high hopes for you. If you do as we ask, and work very hard, we will set you free."
The other prisoners snigger, as do the guards, but the prisoner nods his head. "What do I have to do to be set free?", he asks.
A guard steps forward and informs him, "We have a field that needs turning over for the next year's crop. How are you with a spade?"
The prisoner nods and explains that he used to be a keen amateur gardener at weekends.
"Very well then!" the guard exclaims. "If you come with me, you can do this work. Once you have turned over the soil on our field, we will set you free!".
The prisoner is delighted and eager to begin. He follows the guard past the line of other prisoners shaking their heads and giggling.
The prisoner and the guard walk past the shower block and turn left. They pass the communal mess hall on the right and climb over the old wooden fence to enter a field of overgrown grass and weeds. The field is the size of 4 football pitches and resembles a meadow.
The guard says, "Like I said, if you can turn over all of the soil in this field, I will set you free". He then hands the prisoner a teaspoon, and shouts "Get to work!" before turning away and laughing.
The man feels despair and guilt. Guilt for believing the guard and despair at his certain future. But then he has a thought, and he begins to dig with his teaspoon.
6 bitterly cold winters pass. Everyday, the prisoner is in his field. Come rain, hail or snow, he is there, digging away. The summer sun burns him and the winter winds chill him to the very bone. The daffodils come and go each year, and the robin raises his young before migrating.
In the 7th year, he approaches the guard, and he asks him to come and inspect the field. By now he is a skeleton of his former self and his life that he knew seems long gone, but he has hope in his eyes.
The guard tells him, "I don't need to come and inspect the field. I have watched you struggle every day in every season, and you never stopped. You never gave up. Your friends and peers have come and gone, but you soldiered on alone. Tell me, before I set you free, what gave you the determination to do this? Everyone else gave up after the first week!"
And the prisoner replied, "I almost gave up myself when I saw the size of the field. But I didn't. I almost gave up immediately when you handed me that teaspoon. The task seemed impossible. But then I spotted a bird building her nest in a tree. She worked tirelessly, one twig and one feather at a time. By the end of that first day, her nest was built."
"And how did this give you the determination to carry on for almost 7 years digging my field with a teaspoon?", asked the guard.
The prisoner looked at the guard and exclaimed, "But I didn't dig your field Officer! I dug a small 1 square foot patch of grass every day! That's what made it bearable. I didn't even realise I had accomplished the final task until this morning, when I saw that there were no more square feet left to dig!"
And the prisoner walked free.
Hope this helps!
One task, one day at a time.
xxx
