Follow your heart or your head?

[ELJ-11]

Hi guys just having a quick natter really

Basically I've met this guy through a friend and I really like him! He likes me too but I don't really want to get involved as he's got a 3 year old kid, is a bit on & off with the mum & is on his last warning from the police about getting into fights He's 22 & I'm 18.

And I know he doesn't sound like much of a catch but he's just sooo lovely! I met his boy the other day who just adored me!

I would ask for advice but deep down I know what the best thing to do would be :sad: was just wondering if any of you have had any similar experiences?

xxx

 

[tonicj]

Follow your instincts. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, then it probably is xx

 

[Poshfloss]

Hi Hunnie,
Run, Run, Run even faster.
Go with your instincts............ we are usually right with them.
x x x :hug: x x x

 

[taggyboy]

I agree please do not get involved. I know you should give people a chance but when you say on final warning from police, then his obviously had plenty of chances. I would say he has anger issues and getting into fights is not the answer. There is someone more deserving of you, imo. It's hard I know

from Debbie's HTC Sense

 

[sarahpoppy24]

Right from personal experience, men like that are the most charming and passionate of the lot, but they are ALWAYS bad news. I bet he seems like butter would not melt, and has an excuse for everything. Eg.. I started getting into fights after this or that happened, but now I have stopped doing that Im on the right path etc. Then when they have had what they wanted for you, the will ether ditch you, abuse you if they decide they like you enought to be in a relationship, or their psycho ex girlfrined wont leave you alone. STAY CLEAR. Unfortunatly you saying no to him will probably make it worse, will bombard you with texts and passionate promices. Sorry of I sound bitter and twisted, but if you get a guy who is constantly in trouble with the police, he obviously has issues, and you are not the one to "fix him". Also he will never be completely away from his ex, they have a young child together and if they are not properly broken up I would leave them to it. Just my advice. xxxx

 

[SJK]

On and off with the mum, warnings from the police, gets into fights... NO, NO, NO.

 

[anca14]

Hmmm... run as fast as you can!

 

[dandelionpoppy]

Avoid.

 

[ELJ-11]

Thanks guys I know you're all right! & Mummy doesn't approve lol obviously. I will just have to man up & move on xx

 

[laurakate]

I think the fact that you're asking the questions that you are tells you all you need to know.

Whatever you do, think about what's best for YOU in the long term

 

[deanosnana]

RUN as fast as you can!

 

[melly07]

No babe you'll reget it if it was to turn sour steer clear, you always want what you can't have aswell so I know it's hard. Just think if your with mr wrong you'll miss out on with mr right! (but at 18 enjoy your life there is plenty of time for all that boyfriend rubbish belive me! spend your time on people who deserve it!)

 

[Kate1982]

Hi guys just having a quick natter really

was just wondering if any of you have had any similar experiences?

xxx

I agree with everyone else of course but just wanted to say that yes we have all been here before in some shape or form. TBH I think it's all part of growing up. I hope you listen to all the warning around you but even if you don't sometimes we just have to learn from our own mistakes.

xx

 

[ELJ-11]

I agree with everyone else of course but just wanted to say that yes we have all been here before in some shape or form. TBH I think it's all part of growing up. I hope you listen to all the warning around you but even if you don't sometimes we just have to learn from our own mistakes.

xx

Yeah I agree Kate. Part of me feels that I have to take a chance cos if it goes wrong at least I've gained the experience! As silly as that sounds lol
Thank you all, so nice to be able to share random rubbish! x

 

[lollypop2912]

I tend to follow my heart (like an idiot) and if I'm completely honest if this was me in your situation I probably wouldnt listen to the advice, I'm very blind when it comes to love. I'm not for one minute saying go for it, I think you should stay well away but I know that I wouldnt have it in me to stay away and would probably end up in a right pickle! :smack: Good luck whatever you decide!

 

[tireeteam]

He may be cute but I think you know you can do a bit better than some guy who cant get his act together with the mother of his child and messes with other women then acts like a stroppy baby around the police. Sounds like a loser to me irrespective of his looks.

Personally I would aim a bit higher. You know you are worth more than that. :hug:

 

[Paul Bryson]

Basically I've met this guy.....[he is] on his last warning from the police about getting into fights He's 22 & I'm 18.

And I know he doesn't sound like much of a catch
xxx

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you want to put yourself in danger?

Do you someday want to visit your boyfriend/husband/father of your children in jail? Is that your romantic dream? This guy clearly has no self control, if he doesn't hurt you, he'll hurt someone else. Maybe he'll eventually grow out of it, or repent of it, but that's likely years down the road and you cannot fix him -- no woman can fix him -- he must decide to fix himself. Don't hold your breath.

There are LEGIONS of nice guys DYING of loneliness, why do you want to hurt and insult every single one of them by dating a bad boy?

I remember being young. I was a chivalrous, monogamous, old-fashioned romantic -- exactly the sort of guy women always say they want -- and yet I kept getting rejected in favor of that sort of guy. It's heartbreaking how many women waste their hottest years on bad boys, and then around age 30 or so -- after catching a few STDs, having an out of wedlock kid or two, perhaps a short failed marriage followed by a bitter divorce -- they finally start seeking the decent men whom they previously ignored. Why do they do this? Why make Mr. Right wait til you (and he) are in your 30's -- why not pair off with him NOW? Give your best years to a good man, not a bad one. Have your kids by a good man, not a bad one. Spend your anniversaries having romantic dinners, not visiting your husband in jail. Run away from this guy.

Gratutitous search tip: If you want a good man, go to church and grab the biggest nerd you can find. (I met my wife at www.christiancafe.com )

 

[TheLacquerLounge]

Speaking from experience, don't do it!


Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction! lol

 

[Penners]

My niece always followed her heart!! she has a beautiful daughter ( who's father was 'just out of prison' turned around good boy !!NOT) then she moved onto another 'love of her life' and once he'd convinced her he'd stay off the drugs - he didn't, had various rages, vandalised her house, scratched obsenities on her car, threatended her etc. etc. Then of course reformed, promised he'd be good etc. then did it again - after restraining orders and a harrowing court case - he was back inside but this took 4-5 years of her life. She is now in a stable relationship with a 'normal' guy, i think sometimes she misses the 'danger' but shes very happy mostly.

Its not necessarily about your heart or head the heart feeling is mostly about sex appeal or as previous posters say 'the fix him need in women'. love comes slowly and builds strength as it goes, its about trust and commitment and to be honest sometimes boredom but its the real deal - run, run, run from the bad boys, please.

 

[ELJ-11]

Thanks guys

I was seeing him for a few weeks but after meeting other guys and seeing how many guys are a much better catch we've ended it.

I knew you were all right from the start but I guess it's one of those things where you want to experience it for yourself, learn & move on. I had prepared myself so no tears were shed, just part of life...

Thank you all, so nice to just have a chat to people you don't normally talk to! xxxxx :hug: