Forgetful bride or just plain rude?

[LilCheekyMonkey]

I was asked to be a bridesmaid about a year ago. I was super excited and have helped the bride out with lots of planning. Her wedding is in Sweden this June. I had a baby in October so I wouldn't cause any issues with dress fittings etc.

A few months ago the bride asked me to find gifts for the bridal party. Yep you read that right. I didn't question it and just said how many in the bridal party and what type of gifts are you thinking.

Turns out I've been 'forgotten' as a bridesmaid. I recently received a message from a mutual friend we work with about her hen do. So it turns out my offering to throw/plan her a hen do wasn't good enough either.

I'm assuming my little family are still invited to her wedding.

I can't help but think I've been pushed away because I have had a baby. Should I approach the bride about it all or should I just not ever mention it and hope for the best?

There's more but I've kept it to the main issue lol. Any advice would be fab!

 

[funtimefranko]

What do you mean forgotten? She just hasnt included you in anything now?

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[LilCheekyMonkey]

She asked me and then forgot to tell me I was no longer a bridesmaid. Does that make sense?

 

[Steph86]

How awkward!

Id personally not mention anything, but then again I hate being a bridesmaid so id be secretly glad.

If I was to mention something it would be "oh have you picked your bridesmaid dresses?"

Her loss, not yours! You wont be stuck in a dress you hate, with horrible shoes, and your hair & make up dictated to you. Xx

 

[funtimefranko]

She asked me and then forgot to tell me I was no longer a bridesmaid. Does that make sense?

Yeah i get ya, just wanted to make sure i wasnt assuming anything. Thats awful. If it was me (and i am stubborn and unforgiving &#128518 i wouldn't even go.... but dont take my advice ahha. Not something you can just forget though xx

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[AcidPerm]

Depends on how much you value her friendship?

If you want to remain friends, you probably need to speak to her directly about how you feel and see how she responds. Otherwise, you might end up feeling resentful for years.

I had a similar but different issue with a close friend a number of years ago and although we have remained friends, we are no longer close friends. It's more a swapping cards and occasional phone calls type friendship.

 

[freyaholgate]

Aw what a shame, I think as you have posted here it must be bothering you. I would speak to her about it and ask her why, forgetting a bridesmaid... You just don't do that! Maybe from her response you can decide how you feel about it. Obviously I don't know all the details but I'd feel very upset about that if it was me. Not the way if expect a close friend to treat me, hope you get it sorted out xx

 

[LilCheekyMonkey]

Well I thought we were quite close friends otherwise she wouldn't of asked me in the first place. It's the first time I've ever been in this type of situation so I'm rather miffed with her.

I think I'm just going to bite my tongue and just see how the next few months go. She's already expecting me to do her nails for free (not happening!). Maybe she's just using me for her nails and the ideas and help I have already given her.

Thanks for the advice guys x

 

[Pollypocket85]

I would speak to her. Being a bridesmaid is great fun and it's really disappointing to be 'forgotten' about. Did she ask you over text initially or just an off the cuff comment?

 

[jamiereid92]

Well I thought we were quite close friends otherwise she wouldn't of asked me in the first place. It's the first time I've ever been in this type of situation so I'm rather miffed with her.

I think I'm just going to bite my tongue and just see how the next few months go. She's already expecting me to do her nails for free (not happening!). Maybe she's just using me for her nails and the ideas and help I have already given her.

Thanks for the advice guys x

Are you 100% sure she doesn't want you to be a bridesmaid anymore? x

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[nailtekireland]

I had a baby in October so I wouldn't cause any issues with dress fittings etc.

Did you actually plan your baby around this wedding or am I reading this wrong??!!

 

[funtimefranko]

I think she means she had the baby without it inteferring so that cant be the reason for her dropping her x

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[Miss Sparkle]

Best to speak to her I think. I work at a lot of weddings and I've never known any bride 'forget' a bridesmaid... though they do sometimes 'forget' I'm not their personal slave

 

[salj]

I would talk to her too x

 

[Corkrose]

How do you mean it turns out that you had been forgotten as a Bridemaid? Did the mutual friend tell you this? Or is it because the Hen was arranged by someone else?

I think you really have to take the bull by the horn and ask the Bride what is going on.

 

[LilCheekyMonkey]

I'll try and cover everything in one hit.
I was asked by the bride in person to be her bridesmaid. I fell pregnant but had the baby in October so it didn't affect anything. The mutual friend has only spoke to me regarding the hen do. I found out I'm not a bridesmaid when she asked me to find gifts for the bridal party, including bridesmaids. Her bridesmaids are her two cousins. No mention of me or my part in the bridal party what so ever.

Hope I've covered everything asked x

 

[Pollypocket85]

I don't get why you were asked to get presents for the bridal party? That's usually the bride and grooms responsibility.

 

[luanndanielle]

I think you defo need to speak to the bride and find out what's going on.

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[blossom]

I itdon't get why you were asked to get presents for the bridal party? That's usually the bride and grooms responsibility.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like asking you to pick gifts for the two bridesmaids might have been a roundabout way of letting you know its not you, without actually saying it?

Or .... Is it possible shes getting you a bridesmaid present but wants it to be a surprise? Have i missed something or is the gift thing the only way you know you're not included?

Really sympathise tho. I'd be well miffed.
Xxx

 

[Jodie-danielle]

Perhaps she has a gift In mind for you already and it's different due to fact you have helped her with so many things already regarding planning her wedding. I hope that's the reason anyways :/ I know I will be giving my maid of honour a different gift to my other 3 bridesmaids.

I think all you can do is really ask. If you don't want to ask straight out then mention different things like, have your bridesmaids tried there dresses on yet? Who will be staying with you the night before the wedding? How many bridesmaids did you say you were having again? Are all the bridesmaids having there nails done? Obviously don't ask her all them just a few ideas Incase ya daren't ask her out right because of the awkwardness.

I hope it's all a misunderstanding hun, keep us posted x x x