How to know when your other half is taking the proverbial

[Delish]

Hi guys , just need some advice x
How do you know when your other half is taking the p***?

i was with my partner for 5 1/2 years and we have a son x
I left him for certain reasons for 6 months and we decided to get back together. X
He was in the process of getting his security badge ,
I said ill get back with you if you promise you wont go on the doors in town x

If u are thats fine just tell me now because ill stay the way i am and wont get back with you we will stay seperate xx

Now 5 months down the line were having another baby and he's been offered work on the doors and he said yes!

Is this taking the piss?
Bare in mind i left because he broke our trust if you get me! Xx

I feel really hurt by this as i told him at the beginning it something i don't want and if its what you want , lets not get back together x

I feel like hes doing it regardless of what ive said x

 

[misslady]

Have you asked him why he said yes after you asked him not to? Could it be for the money? X

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[Delish]

Ye, but i feel like wen i try and talk to him he just watches the telly like I'm not even talking x n just says Dont know , don't know x

Ye he said its for money its just until i get more work as his current work is slowing down,

I said thats fine we can sort that out until you get more work , but you wont be carrying it on will you once you've got more work
And he said maybe ,well see!

To me thats basically saying i don't care what you think x

 

[lisa.sharrock]

Well I don't wanna offend you and agree on him taking the piss but I'd certainly be naffed off, you have every right to be.

So how has he justified the fact that he's saying yes to going back on the doors??

 

[misslady]

Ugh, men! Everything is always grey with them and they don't see the value in giving a straight answer. I think you have to set a time with no interruptions and tell him you need him to take things seriously. It's hard when they're doing things 'to help' but it still affects us negatively (my husband works so much to help me while I am building my business and I hate it because I am always wondering what he's up to). I think I understand why you don't want him to work there. Only he knows if he's taking the pee or not. But how will things be between you while he's working there? I think your health and wellbeing is very important as your pregnant. What else could he do instead of that job? X

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[Delish]

He hasn't , he doesn't think he should have to explain!
Do you think I'm over reacting?

Its not as if I'm saying don't do this n don't do that!
I bluntly said before we got back if your guna do that tell me now!
Thats why im so angry x

Coz he knows i would of stayed on my own with my son x

 

[Delish]

Exactly I've told him I'm not prepared to deal with the stress, theres loads of other jobs he could be going for in security x
Its just that this has been offered on a plate so it easier for him!

I under stand he wants to bring in money and work x
But what more important to him x

😼 So angry at him !
Also he knows what its like to loose me, it drove him crazy knowing other guys wanted to take me out !
He cried every time i picked the baby up from him so why would he want to put that at risk again x

 

[marion]

Can I ask why you don't want him to work on the doors?

My first reaction is he just wants to earn money for you and kids, men can feel responsible for this especially as you are pregnant.
Am I missing the point?

 

[Delish]

Can I ask why you don't want him to work on the doors?

My first reaction is he just wants to earn money for you and kids, men can feel responsible for this especially as you are pregnant.
Am I missing the point?

Lol i think so , my point is i pacifically asked him when he asked me to get back with him
Will you be doing the doors, because if you are ill leave it and stay on my own with my son !
And he said you 2 are more important and i promise xx

So he already going back on his word! Xx

 

[Crystal colleen]

Has he cheated on you or something is that how he broke ur trust in the first place.........if so and I'm not being rude here but if you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him.

If I have missed something and it's not that then as long as he's earning money and providing for you and your kids I don't see the problem to be honest.I can see that if he said he wouldn't and now he's is going to do it I understand you would be put out by this but he's earning cash and that's the main thing in my eyes.x

 

[LocksOfLove]

I really really hope I don't offend you! But in my opinion love is based on trust and respect etc. I understand he cheated on you previously (I guess that's what you meant?) and that's really hard to get over - I get it. But you shouldn't stop him from working because your worried he will cheat, If he's anything like my fella he'll continue to work on the doors anyway, you'll either drive your self insane from worrying about it or drive him away as your too worried etc probably getting on at him and no one wants that! I was in an untrusting relationship before my fella Chris and he drove me mental!!!! Argh! He was so lovely but he was cheated on before and was always worrying I would do the same - so I left. I'm now with Chris only been together for 2.5 years and we just let each other do what we want within reason. Although if he cheated on me I'd cut it off and paint strip his car and never see him again - not like I'm much of a psycho bird haha! I'm joking. Lol. Again I hope I haven't offended you. Xxxx

 

[Delish]

My point is he can get other work , he's a fitness instructor too , so why do that when I've asked ( not told ) him not to x
Im not sure what its like in your cities but mine isn't very nice and theres stabbings etc all the time x
Not worried bout him cheating ,
if a mans guna cheat he will
weather its on the doors or while your in work etc so thats not the issue x

I couldn't deal with the stress of it!
Imagine im at home with my son and either heavily pregnant or a new baby
Getting a call saying something like that had happened x

 

[Delish]

Sorry just wana add x
Its down to the fact of him going back on his word too,
Coz if he said that at the start i wouldn't be with him!

 

[misslady]

I thought you were worried about him cheating. Would you not be worried if he works on the doors and you were separated? He is still the father of your son and unborn baby, so I think you'd worry anyway. Meaning you wouldn't resolve anything by leaving. Maybe you could throw your energy into helping him find some fitness instructor work - win win. X

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[Delish]

I thought you were worried about him cheating. Would you not be worried if he works on the doors and you were separated? He is still the father of your son and unborn baby, so I think you'd worry anyway. Meaning you wouldn't resolve anything by leaving. Maybe you could throw your energy into helping him find some fitness instructor work - win win. X

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Lol ye i might try that one x

Nooooo if he's going cheat thats his loss coz id be gone!
Thanks x

 

[Pinky promises]

I would defiantly say he's being a typical bloke and taking the piss, he's basically saying I'm not taking what you've said seriously and I'm going to do what I want to do anyway.

 

[Pinky promises]

Good luck Hun I hope he does the right thing by you and the bubba x

 

[Delish]

I would defiantly say he's being a typical bloke and taking the piss, he's basically saying I'm not taking what you've said seriously and I'm going to do what I want to do anyway.

Ye exactly what i thought x
And thanks x me too x

 

[Penny Vintage]

I personally can fully understand the way you feel. Ive known a couple of guys who have and do work on the doors, and it has been very dangerous at times.. Black eyes, stabbings etc. My partner once said about doing it and I wasn't happy, luckily it didn't happen anyway.
If i were you I think id try and find him work and also explain how much this really effects you and wanting to have your unborn baby's dad safe every night is very important to you. Also I've seen the way women chuck themselves at door men, so i understand that part too.

 

[tonicj]

I think if there was an understanding between you both no matter what the reason then it should be respected. If it's something that is upsetting you then it's a problem and needs sorting xx