i need help with my student statement for university

[clairelee69]

could you please read the following and if it sounds stupid would you please tell me. it is for university

UCAS Student Statement​

Having studied Advanced Health and Social Care during year twelve I decided to continue it to make it into an A Level this year as I really enjoyed all of the units. I want to develop a career route in the caring profession by studying Midwifery at University.

As I am studying AVCE Health and Social Care a number of the units have given me an insight into the caring profession. I would like to go into the Midwifery side of the profession as I would like to look after the women before, during and after giving birth as well as helping the fathers and the new born babies.

I have previously worked at a care home for elderly and disabled people for a year and thoroughly enjoyed this. I enjoyed helping people in difficulty out and helping them do every day things. During year twelve I attended Fitzwilliam Nursery for four days as part of my Health and Social Care course. Here I had to create an activity for five children (aged three to four) and watch how each individual communicated with each other. On the 14th and 15th of November I attended The Wise Owl Nursery in Hemsworth. Here I helped to look after children ages from six weeks to four years old.

During year seven I helped out with the parents evening (this was voluntary). Here I had to organize where people were meant to be and had to show the parents around the college. In year 8 I entered a talent contest, I danced with two other friends and spent a lot of my time preparing for the contest and practicing. This experience gave me a lot of confidence. During year seven and eight I was in the college netball team. This taught me how to be part of a team and to be committed. It also taught me that sometimes you have to be competitive in life to succeed.

In my spare time I enjoy going to the gym as often as possible as I like to keep fit and healthy. I also enjoy socializing with friends by going to the pictures and going shopping. I also do nail and beauty treatments freelance. This has given me the independence that I need and has also helped me develop my communication skills.

 

[PenelopePitstop]

hi ya,

have you had a look at this site for wannabe and student midwives it's has a lot of use ful info on it with forums too. i've also been thinking about applying for a place...but we'll see.

http://studentmidwives.co.uk

Pen xx

 

[clairelee69]

OH thankyou

 

[clairelee69]

i have read some of the student statements on the website and changed my statement alot.

here it is now

UCAS Student Statement

Having studied Advanced Health and Social Care during year twelve I decided to continue it to make it into an A Level this year as I really enjoyed all of the units. I want to develop a career route in the caring profession by studying Midwifery at University.

As I am studying AVCE Health and Social Care a number of the units have given me an insight into the caring profession. I aspire to become a Midwife because I want to support mothers and their families from early pregnancy to beyond the birth, giving both clinical and emotional support to aid the transition into parenthood, I feel that I have the necessary interpersonal skills to provide a high level of Midwifery care and I hope that I will make a difference.

I have previously worked at a care home for elderly and disabled people for a year and thoroughly enjoyed this. I enjoyed helping people in difficulty out and helping them do every day things. During year twelve I attended Fitzwilliam Nursery for four days as part of my Health and Social Care course. Here I had to create an activity for five children (aged three to four) and watch how each individual communicated with each other. On the 14th and 15th of November I attended The Wise Owl Nursery in Hemsworth. Here I helped to look after children ages from six weeks to four years old.

During year seven I helped out with the parents evening (this was voluntary). Here I had to organize where people were meant to be and had to show the parents around the college. In year 8 I entered a talent contest, I danced with two other friends and spent a lot of my time preparing for the contest and practicing. This experience gave me a lot of confidence. During year seven and eight I was in the college netball team. This taught me the importance of teamwork and to be committed. It also taught me that sometimes you have to be competitive in life to succeed.

In my spare time I enjoy going to the gym as often as possible as I like to keep fit and healthy. I also enjoy socializing with friends by going to the pictures and going shopping. I also do nail and beauty treatments freelance. This has given me the independence that I need and has also helped me develop my communication skills.

During 2003 I did the Morrisby Vocational Guidance test and I found this very interesting as when I looked at the results they were all nearly to do with the caring profession. In year 10 I was selected to attend to attend the Higher Ambitions Course at Leeds University and this year I was selected out of the whole of my year to attend a two day course at Leeds University. This helped me understand in more depth about the midwifery profession as well as nursing, cardiology, audiology and radiology. I also completed The University of Sheffield Achievement Award.

I have the determination, personal qualities and academic ability to succeed as a midwife; I now only need the opportunity to gain the clinical skills and knowledge.

 

[PenelopePitstop]

sounds much better now chick.

what did you think to the site...good isn't it..although can;t believe how many people are waiting to get a place!!

xx

 

[clairelee69]

i know im really dreading sending my UCAS application off as im scarred of not getting a place

 

[PenelopePitstop]

you'll never know unless you try, might not happen the first time but could the second, if it dosen't happen the first time at least you can save up over the year for the 2nd try!!

it is very hard to get into even though they are crying out for nurses/midwives etc..now they are saying it's also hard to get jobs at the end too.

you'll get there..fingers crossed!

xx

 

[Kim Lawless]

Your application sounds great although my guess is that you had a lot of help with it. That's normal though as we all help our kids.

The only thing that I would point out that the use of the word interesting is very over used................I remember my Amy doing the same thing. Try to find some alternative phrases. x

 

[clairelee69]

Hopefully

 

[clairelee69]

does this one sound any better. i have done loads of different variations and i think this is the best one

UCAS Student Statement

Having studied Advanced Health and Social Care during my first year at college, I received a great insight into the caring profession and found all units covered informative and interesting. After receiving such insight into the primary care profession I feel passionate about pursuing a career in Midwifery. I would relish the opportunity to study Midwifery at University, giving me the chance to expand my social and communication skills even more, creating a solid foundation on which to build a successful health care professional career.
As I am studying AVCE Health and Social Care, a number of the units covered have given me an insight into the personal characteristics required in the caring profession. I aspire to become a Midwife because I want to support mothers and their families from early pregnancy, to beyond the birth, giving both clinical and emotional support to aid the transition into parenthood. I feel that I have the necessary interpersonal skills to provide a high level of Midwifery care and I hope that I will make a difference.
I previously worked in a care home for elderly and disabled people. During the year that I worked there I found the insight invaluable and thoroughly enjoyed integrating as part of the health care team. My time spent here was a fantastic learning experience and engrained the importance of trying to preserve patients autonomy when providing help, even in everyday tasks. I found myself completely at ease within the team of carers and consequently the importance of team work within the health care profession was reinforced for me.
During year 12 I attended Fitzwilliam Nursery for four days as part of my Health and Social Care course. My task was to create an activity for five children (aged three to four) and watch how each individual communicated with one another. This enabled me to witness how the nursery assistants communicated with young children and also expanded my interpersonal skills further, both professionally and socially. On the 14th and 15th of November I attended The Wise Owl Nursery in Hemsworth. Here I helped to look after children ages from six weeks to four years old. This experience was invaluable, enhancing my knowledge of care for the very young and their parents.
During my time at school I volunteered to help organize and assist with parents evening. This involved helping parents find the necessary staff they wanted to meet, sticking to time deadlines, requiring organizational skills and good communication skills. This also involved giving tours of the college and answering any questions that parents wanted answering.
In year 10 I was selected to attend the Higher Ambitions Course at Leeds University. Subsequently, earlier this year I was chosen from my whole year group to attend a two day course at Leeds University in relation to the Higher Ambitions Course. This broadened my understanding of the midwifery profession as well as nursing, cardiology, audiology and radiology. This confirmed my passion to pursue a career in Midwifery and catalysed my ambition.
I have also completed The University of Sheffield Achievement Award.
In year 8 I chose to enter a talent contest, dancing with two other friends. This involved a lot of team work and articulation of ideas and criticisms during preparation and practice. This experience gave me a lot of confidence in presenting for an audience. During my time at school I played for the college netball team. This taught me the importance of effective communication and commitment. I found the competitive element very stimulating, spurring me on to perform and deliver.
In my spare time I enjoy attending the gym as often as possible. I value the importance of trying to keep fit very highly and find the experience relaxing, helping me cope with stress. I also enjoy spending time with friends either going to the cinema or shopping. Another free-time activity I have chosen to undertake is nail and beauty treatment freelance. This has given me independence in both the work and learning environment and reinforced my self directed learning skills.
I believe I have the determination, personal qualities and academic ability to succeed as a midwife; I now only need the opportunity to gain the clinical skills and knowledge, within which I will savour.

 

[River]

Hi Claire,

The final draft sounds MUCH better !

You go for it girl !!


River

 

[Sandra]

My daughter is in the third year of her midwifery degree,and enjoying every minute of it, in her first year she only delivered boys, second year girls, weird how that worked out .I say go for it.this year she isnt on placement yet, but she prefers working with the community midwife to the hospital wards

 

[clairelee69]

what uni is she at hun

 

[Jen Smith]

It sounds good Clair... my only criticism if you are really wanting it .. is that you use the word 'also' a lot during your letter. I am not sure without sitting down and really studying it how you could perhaps better phrase some of your sentences. But if you didn't change it, I am sure it would be fine as is.

The only other thing is ... you haven't mentioned your nail technician training, how much effort and time you put into doing that and where you trained, I know its not relevant to doing midwifery, but it shows you have not just sat about twiddling your thumbs and put your time to good use.

JMO!

 

[clairelee69]

i cant fit it in. i am only allowed 4000 characters inc spaces