Job makes me feel like a nothing, nobody

[Mobile Manicure]

Losing the will to live. Last week I had a client cancel twice on me at very short notice. Makes me think she doesn't value my job.

Secondly, yesterday afternoon in the lovely hot weather I am spending time with my family in the garden sunbathing and I get a text from a neighbour over the road (who also has small children) asking if I'll just pop over and give her a mani and a pedi. "F*** O**. !!!!! What am I? Some lackey??

Thirdly my lovely 11 year old daughter announces over dinner that when she grows up she's going to get a really good job, not a crap job like mine just painting nails and doing people's feet.

Then hubby tells me I really need to start doing something else. Why?!?!

I'm pulling in more money doing this part time than I would be working at a supermarket full time. I can also take the kids to school, pick them up and help them with homework and get the housework done. Problem is he works in an environment where his colleagues wives are all high flyers with executive jobs and nannies.

I was really happy last week and these people have just made me feel like ****e.

Rant over. :o

 

[TPB]

Yep a bad week? Everyone seems to be picking at you, just ignore them I've had the same moments also. cheer up and use your spare time soaking up the sun, better than being stuck indoor working (I.e like in a supermarket all day ) x

 

[coco.]

Sometimes people don't seem too see it as a job.
When I've told people what I'm going too train in I've had 'oh' and they just look at me abit confused and I've had 'oh that's nice'. Gets abit annoying!!!
My son keeps telling everyone 'my moms going too wax bums' lol x

 

[lashed11]

Hello!

I know exactly how you feel. And I feel like this quite alot. It's amazing how much one wee comment here or there can affect how you feel about yourself and your job.

I've had clients text me at 11.30pm expecting to hear back from me, which annoys me, I have had cancellations half an hour before hand, awkward clients who text on their phone during treatments, I've even had one client saying "you can't do this for the rest of your life", And even comparing me to her daughter who is at university. I sometimes feel like I need to justify my career choice or something. There is a stereotype attached to beauty therapists / nail techs / hairdressers which really annoys me. Most of us are providing an amazing service, some of us even have our own business and source our own clients, none the less the world would really miss us lot if we didn't exist. Imagine?! What would all the celebs look like lol. But on a serious note, there would be nobody to go to for relaxation, for stress relief, for treatments to boost self esteem, for treats to help people through hard times, to give people some much needed me time, to boost confidence, the list goes on and on... We are actually a really valuable part of society. There's a reason that there are people like us working in hospices etc, we really do make a difference!

It's a shame that not everybody sees us in this light. In these times, I just try to remember the good comments that clients etc have made and focus on that xx

 

[AcidPerm]

You sound like you're just having a down day. Maybe a bit of sun can perk you up?

You can choose to feel upset and hurt by other's thoughtless comments or you can decide, I'm fine as I am.

God knows, there's plenty of people around that like who moan and spout rubbish but you don't have to take any notice of them.

Just choose to believe in yourself and be happy with your choices in life.

So what if his colleagues have 'high flying' career wives. Chances are, they're too busy worrying about their position in the pecking order to enjoy their lives much. I've been there and I was very happy to escape such pointless banal stuff when I got pregnant with my little boy.

When you look back and remember all the time you actually spent with your children 'being present' with them, that will be far more rewarding than big houses, cars etc.

Hope you finish the weekend feeling more positive. x

 

[StephsTherapies]

People seem to forget that we went to collage for 2 maybe 3 years to do what we do! You can't just decide "today I'm going to be a Beauty therapist/nail technician/hairdresser etc... Makes me so mad! Lol!

 

[georgieboo]

People seem to forget that we went to collage for 2 maybe 3 years to do what we do! You can't just decide "today I'm going to be a Beauty therapist/nail technician/hairdresser etc... Makes me so mad! Lol!

I totally agree with this. it's the same in the tv soaps if you've got no qualifications your either a hairdresser or a beautician if your female or a mechanic if your male. We have trained to do this and earned our qaulifications just like every other professional!! It really winds me up, we shouldn't have to justify our career choice to any one. X


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[Ashley Blakemore]

Oh my husband thinks its funny when i say I'm tired or stressed! He reminds me that i have been sitting on my a**e all day!!! He doesn't say it though when i tell him how much i make every week sitting on my a**e! He annoys me every time he says it, just because he has a really physical job doesn't mean i work less than him! Also my mum has a wall of family pics and next to each other is my mums and sisters graduation pics, i used to feel stupid because i didnt follow the family and get a degree and that my mum was always really proud of my sister but things change and i think my mum is more proud of me sometimes because i work for myself and am self sufficient blah blah and my sister isn't, and shes older! I believe if your happy and your making money & it all works out with the kids etc then nothing else matters!

 

[Baggybear]

Mobile manicure it is not your job that makes you feel like a nothing, or a nobody, it is other people who make you feel this way.

You obviously love your job and you love the freedom it gives you to be with your children, get the shopping, cooking, cleaning etc.. done and still earn a decent wage for the time your putting in.

Clients (or neighbours) who disrespect your time will only do this if you allow them to, by saying no (or ignoring) your clients inaproriate requests (texts very late at night or when they know your not working etc..) then your clients will be forced to respect your time more and to value you when you do offer them your time.

Don't worry about what your 11 year old says, 11 is too young to fully understand what working is all about, you should work to live not live to work. You have a great vocation that allows you the time to be with your family & enjoy what you do at work. It is also nice to know that at 11 they plan to have a good job when they grow up (at least you have instilled that in them from a young age - & they are not planning to be a dole bum :wink2.

Don't allow others (who are jealous) to put you down, you have a good work life balance and if your other half can't see that your on to a good thing I think you need to sit him down and talk to him about it. If he thinks you need to be looking at doing something else, ask him what he thinks that should be and how he is going to help out with the housework, the childcare and the shopping etc.... when your off doing whatever it is he thinks you should be doing.

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Thanks Baggybear, you've hit the nail on the head. Yes, what pisses me off is other people's disrespect. You're right, Madame over the road is probably jealous as she works full time and needs to use childcare whereas I don't. I think she probably wanted to put me in my place to feel better about herself.

Hubby is an idiot. He works away all week and I keep everything ticking along here. We've had the chat and I don't think he really knows himself what he expects me to do. I think it's just the title of "Nail Tech" that embarrasses him in front of his colleagues. Maybe I should quit and become a "lady who lunches". See if he likes that. I think what also annoys him is that i love my job and he hates his. Jealousy again!!

 

[dandelionpoppy]

It's horrible when you feel everyone has a downer on you, but maybe it helps to break it down:

• The cancelling client was thinking of herself, not about you. Don't take it personally.
• The neighbour was asking, not demanding. She was a would-be paying client.Of course you can decline, no problem. You have the right to do so.
• Your daughter is at the age of gaining her independence. She is rebelling a bit, but again, don't take it personally. Kids express themselves clumsily.
• Maybe, just maybe, your husband said this as a reaction to your being down about your day.

Tomorrow is another day, and I hope it's a good one for you.

 

[Rinn]

Mobile manicure it is not your job that makes you feel like a nothing, or a nobody, it is other people who make you feel this way.

You obviously love your job and you love the freedom it gives you to be with your children, get the shopping, cooking, cleaning etc.. done and still earn a decent wage for the time your putting in.

Clients (or neighbours) who disrespect your time will only do this if you allow them to, by saying no (or ignoring) your clients inaproriate requests (texts very late at night or when they know your not working etc..) then your clients will be forced to respect your time more and to value you when you do offer them your time.

Don't worry about what your 11 year old says, 11 is too young to fully understand what working is all about, you should work to live not live to work. You have a great vocation that allows you the time to be with your family & enjoy what you do at work. It is also nice to know that at 11 they plan to have a good job when they grow up (at least you have instilled that in them from a young age - & they are not planning to be a dole bum :wink2.

Don't allow others (who are jealous) to put you down, you have a good work life balance and if your other half can't see that your on to a good thing I think you need to sit him down and talk to him about it. If he thinks you need to be looking at doing something else, ask him what he thinks that should be and how he is going to help out with the housework, the childcare and the shopping etc.... when your off doing whatever it is he thinks you should be doing.

I think you are 100% correct in your advice here Baggybear. Well said.

Mobilemanicure ...we have a saying over here ''f the begrudgers''...

 

[stacy]

Hugs to you, sounds like you need it :hug:

As everyone else has said, you're having a bad one but tomorrow it will probably all look a lot better.

Remind your husband that your an independent lady who not only manages to run her own business but still has time for the kids and family life. Not a lot of people can say that. If it bothers him enough to tell people that your a 'nail tech' then that's his problem, just a thought - kids pick up on things so could this be the reason why your 11 year old thinks its a crap job?

Your cancelling client will cancel at short notice if she can so don't let her. Have a cancellation policy in place if you don't already have one.

Your neighbour may just think it's ok to ask you to pop over but it's also ok to not be available. Your the boss so you have the choice.

We all have bad days but don't devalue yourself because it makes it easy for others to do the same, just keep in mind how fabulous you are x

 

[Leely]

Hope you are feeling a lot better now

remember you make more money part time than a full time job at a supermarket and do all the house work and look after the children. Your husband should think him self lucky you are doing all of this while he is away at work.

You do a brilliant job as your neighbors are texting you wanting you to pop over and work out of hours. xx

 

[kaysmith87]

I've found it's the people more than the job. I've gone from a 'high powered' career running a top London marketing agency back to a salon. We've been open 3 weeks and my biggest surprise is the difference in the way people look at you when dressed in a beauty tunic or treat you compared with my position before. It's disgusting really and quite obvious.

 

[Abbie101]

I know exactly what you mean! But mines a different story! Since completing level 2 I've done the odd level 2 treatment and now level 3 I've done some tanning and massage since college. But my problem is no ones employing by me for a beauty therapist so I'm working once a week in a shop to pay for my beauty stuff to work from home, I get moaned at for wasting my time at college to just work in a shop! I'm trying to get money together to work from home but instead just get told
I've wasted my time and lack confidence in my treatments (I have no clients to practice on!!! And noones employing to get confidence in a salon so I can't win!) rant over! Lol x

 

[princessabbi20]

Are you feeling better ?? I have my own salon which obviously means I have a salon phone and 24 hour answer phone but I still get "oh sorry to txt u on your day off"!!!! Yeah I your sorry don't do it lol! I don't think people realise that your not just sat making someone's hair or nails pretty your being there counsellor, ears and everything else to take there stresses away which passes onto you!!! Just think for the one person who lets you down you have 30 more that don't and that appreciate what you do for them x x

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Hi all. Thank you all for your responses and support. i knew you guys would understand! Yes, i feel a lot better now. I've got a very busy week getting lots of calls for appointments (with reasonable notice!). I should be grateful people are ringing me and not someone else for their nails and feet. That alone is making me feel more valued. Hubby is away for the week at work so I don't have to listen to him.

Will go out and treat myself this weekend any buy something nice with some of the extra money I've been earning.

I suppose I should also be grateful my 11 year old has a good work ethic and wants to do well career wise. She just needs to learn to be a bit more tactful.

 

[Lynne Baker]

At 11 I couldn't even spell tactful let alone be it!
I'd have given Dandelion Poppy another rep point but I have to spread it around a bit before I can. She makes, as ever, valid, relevant points.

To Steph, unfortunately it is entirely possible to wake up one morning and decide to be a beauty therapist, and for as long as the insurance companies accept one day courses, this will continue.

 

[essentia]

Beauty therapy and the nail industry still have the impression to some that it is not really a 'proper' job. Traditionally it was a trade for young girls and with the introduction of one day courses it really has not improved its image. Some clients believe that you are available anytime and see it as a hobby - email and mobiles do not make this any easier! True business minded women work hard in this industry and it is a shame this outlook still persists although I can see why. You can change the attitudes of those around you by being professional and laying down boundaries. If you take this attitude then others will be respectful or look for another therapist to control.