Jokes (cheesy/terrible/hilarious) I want to know them!

[SGordon91]

So! I'm avoiding cleaning (see my other thread haha) and I thought about a joke that I heard last week that just made me chuckle every day (sad I know hopefully no one gets offended by my one) but here you are :

What do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
Virgin mobile.

Hehehe. 😁

 

[SGordon91]

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

 

[ParissD]

2 snowmen in a field one sez to other 'do you smell carrots' ?

I woke up last night to find Gloria gaynors ghost at end of my bed, at first i was afraid i was petrified )

 

[RB1]

Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?.... Nah... It's too cheesy! 😂

How do pigs get to hospital? .. In a hambulance!

How do you kill a frog? .. You don't. They Kermit suicide!

What lays at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?... A nervous wreck !

Who does a pharaoh talk to when his sad?... His mummy!

Hahaha sorry! They really are terrible 😂😂😂

 

[sugarfarie]

I got a ticket to see Prince in concert for £20, so I'm going to party like it's £19.99

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[amys-beauty]

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Halloumi!

What cheese isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!

 

[Elaine Armani]

I don't get any of these haha 😂😂

 

[lila22]

I normally click an hour after a joke!!! 😳xx

 

[SGordon91]

Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?.... Nah... It's too cheesy! 😂

How do pigs get to hospital? .. In a hambulance!

How do you kill a frog? .. You don't. They Kermit suicide!

What lays at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?... A nervous wreck !

Who does a pharaoh talk to when his sad?... His mummy!

Hahaha sorry! They really are terrible 😂😂😂

The terrible ones are the best lol!

 

[Taylor79]

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
With Jam in.:lol:

 

[w1nnie]

I don't get any of these haha 😂😂

nor me :lol:

 

[marie hilton]

Hurt my back yesterday, tap dancing, fell off the tap into the sink

 

[fluffy26]

Not so much a joke but something funny you can try ........ Why when saying "beer can" do you sound like your saying "bacon" in a Jamaican accent!? I bet your all sat there saying it now!! 😂


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[sarah1992]

What was Whitney Houstons favorite type of coordination?

Haaaaand Eyyyyyyyeeee

 

[SGordon91]

What was Whitney Houstons favorite type of coordination?

Haaaaand Eyyyyyyyeeee

Hahahahaha that's brilliant!!

 

[SGordon91]

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

 

[SGordon91]

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Hehehe

 

[waffle4]

A cooking one.

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

(Terrible I know but makes me laugh haha)

 

[nailtekireland]

How to speak in proper queens English - to say oh, hello? You say "Air,hair,lair" - try it! Maybe its only funny cause I'm irish?!

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[Gemster]

My boyfriends all time favourite joke...

There was an old lady in front of me at the cash point today and she asked me to check her balance...so I gave her a push