Kids say the funniest stuff!! Do yours???

[Tsia]

I was sitting down and just chatting to my Dad the other day and my 'half sister' was listening in, who is 9 years old.
My dad and I were talking about what he would like done with his salons if he ever went etc (dunno how we got on the subject)
Anyway, we were talking about it in a light hearted manner and Dad said that he has to sort out a will.. to sort who gets what...
With that, my little sis perked up and said "let me help you daddy"
Dad said, " okay then, get a peice of paper so we can write it down"
She took the paper and pen and after some scribbling she came back and said " I've done daddy's will" and showed us that that she had drawn a 'wheel' shape, sectioned off like a pie with every siblings name in each slice!

I was in stitches and crying with laughter..
(must have been our cockney accents)

So just wondered what the funniest thing your kid has said??

I need a good laugh :lol:

 

[joanna118]

which one is my sweet tooth is my fav

and my little cousin said to me the other i can get my arms all the way round now when she hugs me after i lost 5 stone 4lbs!

 

[Lissie]

My mum cooked dinner for niece and nephews the other day and after we had all finished my 6 year old nephew (Connor) lent back in his chair and let out a big sigh holding his belly and said "Cor Nanny you are the best cooker".

I was wetting myself x

 

[Ragdoll >^..^<]

I was in Tescos with my son who was about 4 at the time and he saw a coloured security man walk past the till as we were checking out and he said 'look mummy that man's had too much chocolate' !! i wish the ground could have opened up and swallowed me!

 

[Lellipop]

We were watching Jonathan Ross last night and Sir David Attenborough was on talking about eating caterpillars Cal my son turned to me and said if you ate a catterpillar you really would have butterflies in your tummy.

 

[paula1973]

A classic with mine that made me want the ground to open up was once shoe shopping with my monsters there was a man who was disabled, his arms weren't formed properly, one of my boys started screaming that it was an alien!!!!! I was so embarrassed, the most recent would have to be my kids finally meeting my new (ish) man for the first time last week, after lots of interrigating, usual stuff fav football team etc, my 12 year old daughter asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend because he was after my money!!!! I nearly fell off my chair!!
Bless em!! Couldn't eat a whole one!!

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Well one of mine has a list as long as your arm, but the one that I can print is when a stranger once said to her, you're very pretty. Instead of being modest and saying thank you she looked him straight in the eye and said, yes I know!!

Oh and the one when she was asking about the birds and the bees and she said with much concern, well if I was in your tummy, why did you eat me?!!!

Or when I told her the truth about the birds and the bees at the age of about 8, she just laughed at me and said "Nah", she would not believe me! Should have stuck to the gooseberry bush theory, far more plausible!

 

[Susie H]

First sex ed for daughter, she came home and demanded to know if it was true, I assured her it was, her coment?
Eer, and you've done it THREE TIMES!

 

[Tsia]

Theyre great, I'm crying with laughter. Arent kids the greatest? Cant wait to have my own (well maybe I can)
Just reading those birds and bees ones.. reminded me of when my little sis when she was 8ish asked the dredded question where do babies come from? and asked why people do 'roody doodies' and they dont have lots of babies? My aunty and I where gobsmacked but tried to explain using the word balloon, which she kinda freaked at, so we told her it was called a condom. (god, hope I dont get in trouble with that word)
Anyway, right at the end, we said.. " so you understand now?" she replied "yes" and I said.. "so you remember what the word is for the 'balloon' thingy?"
She replies... "yes, a popadom"

HAHAHAHA:lol:

 

[lancslass]

i was accepting a body shop delivery one day and my 3 year old daughter came to the door and said "mummy whos that and i replied its the delivery man ..............to this she shouted "A LADYMAN.

I looked at the delivery man and he just started laughing

it was so funny I tell every one.

 

[Snugglepuss]

My eldest son has a stammer and also used to be tongue tied - he really struggled with the L sound and he replaced with a F sound so you can imagine my horror one day (he was about 4 at the time) when we were out shopping and he shouted at the top of his voice f**k over there mum I still cringe now 20 years later when I think about it

 

[HAILZTONES]

I met an ex-colleague for lunch the other day and she was telling me that her grandaughter was in church at a Sunday School lesson a few weeks ago and she wanted to go to the toilet so the Priest directed her and an older girl to the ladies. My colleague had been waiting outside the church and asked if she'd had a nice time and what they'd been up to, she replied "well, God took us to the toilet" !! I was weak laughing ! Bless her.

Hayley

 

[Spray 2 Go]

The birds and the bees stories reminded me of when my daughter was little and asked the dreaded question

"Mummy, what is sex?" After trying to put her off until she was a little older, which didn't work, she was seven at the time and very persistant, I talked her through it in the best biological way possible. When finished, I said "do you understand what mummy has told you?"

"Yes, she said, I knew all about the sex, but didn't know about the fertiliser stuff!"

Bless!

 

[Tsia]

haha, these are so great... I'm reading them again and still laughing. x
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[The Beauty Zoo]

There are so many stories to tell!!!!!!

The one that comes to mind is my cocky son, who always tried to show his Nan up, was with her in Tesco doing the shopping and started shouting at the top of his voice....'Nan, Nan do you want some of these?'......waving a large packet of condoms in the air!!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor woman nearly died!!!!!

 

[Tsia]

Haha. God I'm remembering more now...
I was looking after lil sis for the weekend and my boyfried had a rash on his arm from something.. I promised him that when we were food shopping, remind me and we'll get some cream.
Of course we forgot and lil sis shouted out at the checkout "He forgot to get the cream for his rash"
My boyfriend nearly died and I was killing myself all the way home!!
We havent had her for another weekend since then... wonder why?:lol:

 

[madferrit]

lol these are so good.
me and my hubby were shopping and had our 4 year old son with us who spotted a little lady who for lack of a better word had dwarfisim(sorry i hope that doesnt offend) and at the top of his voice shouted ,
LOOK MUMMY THERES AN UMPA LUMPA!!!!!!
well i nearly died bless him, we had took him to see Charlie and the chocolate factory the day before!!!!

 

[Tsia]

haha... how embarrassing :lol:

 

[Ms.Matrix]

I kept my oldest in the dark as long as I could about sex..but one day when he was still in Elementary school I couldn't get around it so one night when I was tucking him in he asked again and I explained everything...he looked up at me with a very perplexed look and said "but Ma, isn't that illega!l?!?" I choked back the laughter!!!

 

[cabinkel]

my son came out of playschool and while I was standing with the other mums having a chat he said, "Mummy, is George's mum a wrestler" I turned to him and said of course not Fin, why, he went over to the mum and patted her arm and said "coz she has arms like a wrestler" I could have died and felt mortified for this poor woman! Bless those 3 year olds!!!!