No more babies?

[ltongue]

Do most women go through a sort of grieving process when they know they aren't having anymore children?

Here's my situation, we have one daughter aged 3 and I've had to come off the pill for medical reasons ( too many side effects) so I can't use anything with a hormone in it so my hubby is having a vasectomy!

We have discussed the future and he doesn't want anymore kids and to be honest I can't see myself with anymore but I never thought I would have to make this decision at my age (32). Most days I'm fine with it but some times the whole baby thing comes back into my head again. But will that always be the case? Do us girlies always get broody when we see a baby even when we know we aren't having anymore? or is it just me?

 

[MINKUS]

i would say if your not 100% dont let him do anything final, how u feel now may not be how you feel in 3 years time !!

Good luck with whatever u decide !!

amb x

 

[River]

Hi,

Can't answer that for you because I think I've always been the complete opposite. I've never wanted kids and have got no intention of ever having them !

But, I suppose if you are maternal, the thought of not having any kids or not having anymore kids could feel like a loss. You already have one child which is a good thing, so enjoy her as much as you can and don't dwell on the fact that you aren't going to have more.

Unless, like Minkus suggested, if you are not entirley sure, use another method for a couple of years and see how you feel then.


River

 

[PenelopePitstop]

i would say if your not 100% dont let him do anything final, how u feel now may not be how you feel in 3 years time !!

Good luck with whatever u decide !!

amb x

i agree though i've never had any babies, i can imagine that anyone would get broody over babies, but i think a women would still know deep down when they def don't want anymore.

yep so just hold on for a couple of years as your still young enough to have babies for a while yet!! you never now how you'll feel later in life!

Pen xxx

 

[holliejayne]

My boyfriend has kids and definatly does not want anymore and neither do I, I know that the way my life is now, I wouldnt be able to cope and thankfully I have no desire to have anymore!, Im only just getting my life back on track!

Im on the pill currently but with such a busy lifestyle I often forget to take it at the right time, so were thinking of something more permanent, no sterilisation or anything, but something more 'safe'.

Their are some times when I think about how satified I am with just 1 but then when Ive finished hitting myself for being so stupid, I realise that Im lucky to have what Ive got, some people cant have kids. And why have another baby just because you might regret not having another one in the future??

You have to think of how your life is NOW and what effect having another one could have. I think its natural for women to have that maternal feeling but sometimes you have to suppress it because its just not the right thing for you.xxxxxxxx

 

[ltongue]

My boyfriend has kids and definatly does not want anymore and neither do I, I know that the way my life is now, I wouldnt be able to cope and thankfully I have no desire to have anymore!, Im only just getting my life back on track!

Im on the pill currently but with such a busy lifestyle I often forget to take it at the right time, so were thinking of something more permanent, no sterilisation or anything, but something more 'safe'.

Their are some times when I think about how satified I am with just 1 but then when Ive finished hitting myself for being so stupid, I realise that Im lucky to have what Ive got, some people cant have kids. And why have another baby just because you might regret not having another one in the future??

You have to think of how your life is NOW and what effect having another one could have. I think its natural for women to have that maternal feeling but sometimes you have to suppress it because its just not the right thing for you.xxxxxxxx

Hollie I can't believe you are only 18, You have such words of wisdom!!

Thanks

 

[holliejayne]

Not really, I just have an incredibly destuctive 15 month old and I could do without another one!!! and theres so many other things I want in my life now that having another baby just isnt an option!!

I hope you can make the right descision for you xxxxxxx

 

[ltongue]

I've always been sure about everything I've done in my life and have no regrets, but this has really confused me.

 

[MINKUS]

perhaps you've answered your own question here then !!

dont do anything you may regret !!

ambx

 

[caz3]

Make sure you really know what you are doing and what you want do not do anything you may regret later.

I do not think you are 100% sure that yoj do not want any more babies :hug:

Life is so much harder when you have to live with regrets.

Caz xxx

 

[*JOANNE*]

i agree if your having niggling thoughts in the back of your mind then hold off making that decision.
rob had the snip 3 years ago...but i had reached the point where the thought of having more babies made me shiver...lol its like mother nature switched off the broody button.
so if your broodyness is still there then you still need to think about it...
in answer to your question...about broodiness.........i dont get broody at all now...which from a girl who had 3 kids in less than 4 years.... never thought it would happen......

 

[Lellipop]

The thing with making these kind of decisions is that we may change are minds in a week, year or 10 years time. Plus we never know what will happen in the future, Someone I know was sterlised because herself and her partner didnt want anymore kids. Well their marriage broke down and she re-married and really wanted another child with her new hubby (who didnt have any).
I know this is a bit extreme, But do think about life with no more children and make sure your 100% sure.

 

[scattyfox]

After ahving Lee (19) i made a decision to have no more he was ahrd work and money was dificult. then 14yrs down the line ifell pregnant with Oliver and he is sucha sweet and happy child i am so glad i did. But when i ahd him they ahd to sterilise me as i had a broken pelvis and would have ended up in a wheelchair if i had any more hcildren. I didnt hisitate to sign that piece of paper to agree with them.

BUT as time went on i felt cheated that the decision had been sprung upon me in such a way and the option and right to chose whether to ahve any more was out of my hands. not that i really wanted to but i did not have that choice any more. Five yeas down the line i ahve a different attitude and know i made the right decision for my heltha nd my sanity and i enjoy the children i have.

If youa re NOt sure then why not ahve the injection and re-evaluate in a couple of years time.

remember this is not his choice but yours as a woman.

 

[kittenclaws]

hun, i have 3 kids and that is 1 more than ihad planned, but then when i was 23 i was very very ill and the only solution was a full hystorectomy, it wasnt a hard decision as i was so sick i couldnt even look after the kids i had, but after omg i was so upset as i new i couldnt have any more kids, this was made even harder after i split with my husband as i thought who would want a woman with 3 kids already and cant give him a kid?
anyway then i got with my now hubby and he had had a vasectomy and didnt want any more kids
i still get broody and even have a few tears when my friends have babies, (i was birthing partener for a friend 4 years ago, it was amazing)
i think most women still would get broody, but ive got to admit im to selfesh now to have another baby anyway, i like them more when i can hand them back

dont go ahead with anything untill you are 100% sure as reversal doess not always work, try counciling first and do loads and loads of research, hth

 

[Cathie!]

If you're felling like this then you must really think about the whole process again.

I TOLD my hubbby he was having a vasectomy, he knew it too, but he totally shat himself at the thought!! I couldn't think of anything worse in my life than having another baby (I have 3 children), and I don't feel broody at all when I see babies....so I guess I was ready lol.

If you're experiencing these feelings, probably you are not yet ready to sever the ties, so you really must talk it over before it;s too late.

xxx

 

[Northern Nails]

And why have another baby just because you might regret not having another one in the future??

You have to think of how your life is NOW and what effect having another one could have. I think its natural for women to have that maternal feeling but sometimes you have to suppress it because its just not the right thing for you.xxxxxxxx

Following on from Holliejayne,
Regret can be an awful thing to have to live with, especially as you sound as if you're not 100% sure.

But the last piece she sum's it up well really, although i think we all know deep down whether we would like more chldren or not. Sometimes it boils down to the practicallities.

 

[avivajoy]

Hi
What about using the coil? If its not 100% enough you could also use condoms. You cant know now whether you will want more kids later on, also if it was me Id want kids more and more as time passed mainly because I knew I couldnt have them until I drove myself insane (or even more insane)
Good luck

 

[ltongue]

Hi
What about using the coil? If its not 100% enough you could also use condoms. You cant know now whether you will want more kids later on, also if it was me Id want kids more and more as time passed mainly because I knew I couldnt have them until I drove myself insane (or even more insane)
Good luck

Feel like I'm going insane now!! not sure about the coil and we HATE condoms!!

I hear what you are saying, we'll talk some more!!

 

[Lellipop]

Feel like I'm going insane now!! not sure about the coil and we HATE condoms!!

I hear what you are saying, we'll talk some more!!

Why not find out about a coil , The new iud's are fab.
I know what you mean about condoms lol like having a bath with your wellies on

 

[Bagpuss]

I have had the coil now for 4 years and its brill...wont lie it was uncomfortable whilst it was being fitted...and for a few days after...but i wouldn't have anything else now...peace of mid works wonders in the bedroom...lol

Someone once told me that you just no when you don't want anymore children and they where right (for me) as soon as Tayla-Beth was born i looked at her and thought "I am going to make the most of you cos i aint having anymore" and it wasn't due to a unpleasant birth or anything...infact it was a breeze, just knew that she would be my last. xx