Power of Attorney - Legal advice needed

[Claire@OBNMK]

My mum has power of attorney over my grandads health and finances.
He's moving into his care home on thurs or fri (he's got mildish dementia) and his pension will be used to pay for some of his care (apart from about £25 pw which is his for odds and sods), the rest of the shortfall will be met by the council.
His home is shared ownership (he owns about a quarter of it) the company own the rest.

When the company buy him out i take it the money will go into his bank.?

My question is I'm worried that my mum will "Borrow" some money from the sale of the house for what ever she might need.
I do love my mum but I don't trust her when it comes to grandads money from his estate. She's not the best with money, her past purchases have been lemons in the past and she's crap with money.

Can she just help herself if she wanted too to grandads money from the house sale? Grandad isn't aware of his finances anymore.

The way i see it its grandads money even if he's not going to really spend it and it's not for anyone else to lay claim. trouble is she thinks that she's "owed" because she's had to look after him since his health has gone downhill and she has always moaned that grandad has decided that his estate, after his death, is to be shared equally between my mum and the 4 siblings, she thinks she should get more than the kids. (I don't give two hoots though).

I don't want to bring up the subject as this will cause major arguememnts and bad feeling.

This is a bit of an awkward situation :irked:

But I'm just concentating on getting hime settled in his nursing home.
I hate it when the family members start going on about money & inheritence, it's so tastless and "vulture" like

 

[mm29]

The money may be used to pay for his care very sad but true,

 

[Claire@OBNMK]

The money may be used to pay for his care very sad but true,

I believe the sale of the quarter of his house will most prob be less than £25,000 (from what mum said)

 

[mm29]

I believe the sale of the quarter of his house will most prob be less than £25,000 (from what mum said)

I would expect this would still be the case, I'm sure some older geeks may have been in this position with their folks, my gran's house was signed over in plenty of time so it was "safe" her pension paid for care

Could possibly phone citizens advice (annon)

 

[Scissorz]

I'm not a lawyer but I do know that with power of attorney yes your mum will have access to your grandads accounts but only if she is also a signatory on his bank account, if you are really concerned I would speak to her. The way I see it from what you've written at some point whoever made her power of attorney must have thought that she could be trusted to have your grandads best interests at heart so maybe you should do the same. But in the same way I also think that nobody should feel they are owed anything having to look after a sick parent as at the end of the day I'm sure your mums dad looked after her when she was growing up. It's a tricky one as you don't want to be seen as the one who wants the power of his finances but also you are worried about your grandad, talk to her she may understand your concerns

 

[Claire@OBNMK]

I'm not a lawyer but I do know that with power of attorney yes your mum will have access to your grandads accounts but only if she is also a signatory on his bank account, if you are really concerned I would speak to her. The way I see it from what you've written at some point whoever made her power of attorney must have thought that she could be trusted to have your grandads best interests at heart so maybe you should do the same. But in the same way I also think that nobody should feel they are owed anything having to look after a sick parent as at the end of the day I'm sure your mums dad looked after her when she was growing up. It's a tricky one as you don't want to be seen as the one who wants the power of his finances but also you are worried about your grandad, talk to her she may understand your concerns

Mmm maybe.

My mum has changed a bit over the years, she's got very bitter about life in general.
But maybe i could bring up the subject somehow without putting my foot in it.
She is crap with her money but maybe she won't be with grandads, maybe I'm worrying too much, this has been the most stressful time ever trying to get grandad into a good home.

I do love him so much x

 

[smallandcute]

I suggest that you call cab and speak to a family lawyer regarding the issue. I have known a family fight over a elderly family members possessions including money to the point where the poor man was on his death bed and his wife was busy trying to file a death announcement at the bank before the poor man went! With all the in fighting that being elderly brings i feel there should be more put in place.

Do you know if it was your grandad who appointed your mum as power of attorney and if so how long into his illness was she appointed. Considering her views it may be considered that he wasnt fit to appoint her and someone else may be appointed. If she is buying something out of his money that could be seen as theft. Tread very carefully with this one as it could backfire big time but also get advice on what to do if things dont go how they should

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[Claire@OBNMK]

I suggest that you call cab and speak to a family lawyer regarding the issue. I have known a family fight over a elderly family members possessions including money to the point where the poor man was on his death bed and his wife was busy trying to file a death announcement at the bank before the poor man went! With all the in fighting that being elderly brings i feel there should be more put in place.

Do you know if it was your grandad who appointed your mum as power of attorney and if so how long into his illness was she appointed. Considering her views it may be considered that he wasnt fit to appoint her and someone else may be appointed. If she is buying something out of his money that could be seen as theft. Tread very carefully with this one as it could backfire big time but also get advice on what to do if things dont go how they should

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

I will tread carefully I'll just keep an eye on things. I don't want to go in and start accusing her of stuff when i have no basis.
But there is no way on earth i want it to get to the "In fighting stage" thats something to be avoided at all costs because familes need to stick together.

Mum got power of attorney when he first got ill (about 5 yrs ago) but he didn't have dementia and he was fully aware.
It was because he couldn't get out to the shops and atm anymore (he kept on having falls) so mum would withdraw money and send it to him via royal mail SD (no one lives close to him as he's in Devon)

As I've said I'll take a back seat and just keep an eye on things, I'm sure everything will be ok.

I think i just needed to talk to you guys for some re-asurrance, advice etc.

xxx:Love:

 

[Ruth Mills]

I'm a Deputy for my mother (which is a bit like being an attorney, but we had to apply for a deputyship, as my mother's dementia had progressed to the stage where she was not able to give consent to a power of attorney)... and the rules of the deputyship strictly say that we can't use my mother's money for our own purposes; it must strictly be used for her, e.g. paying for her care, etc, although I can claim reasonable expenses incurred in acting as a deputy, e.g. any solicitors costs, travel expenses, etc.

So I would imagine that the same would apply to your mother; if she's got power of attorney for someone, then she should only be able to use that person's money for the benefit of that person, not herself.

If in doubt, I'd recommend getting in touch with the Court of Protection for advice, as that is who we are dealing with ourselves with regards to the deputyship, and we saw a guy from there recently who was really helpful.

 

[Claire@OBNMK]

I'm a Deputy for my mother (which is a bit like being an attorney, but we had to apply for a deputyship, as my mother's dementia had progressed to the stage where she was not able to give consent to a power of attorney)... and the rules of the deputyship strictly say that we can't use my mother's money for our own purposes; it must strictly be used for her, e.g. paying for her care, etc, although I can claim reasonable expenses incurred in acting as a deputy, e.g. any solicitors costs, travel expenses, etc.

So I would imagine that the same would apply to your mother; if she's got power of attorney for someone, then she should only be able to use that person's money for the benefit of that person, not herself.

If in doubt, I'd recommend getting in touch with the Court of Protection for advice, as that is who we are dealing with ourselves with regards to the deputyship, and we saw a guy from there recently who was really helpful.

Oh that's really helpful, thanks Ruth I didn't know this.
Thats really put my mind at peace now, knowing there is a legal obligation.

You're a star xxx :hug: