Ready to kick my 19 year old son out of the house

[virtues2011]

I've given my daughter all that too and I've brought her up single handed with no financial support but she adores and respects me and is grateful for every single thing I do for her. Just luck of the draw I guess.

You're probably right. She's not nasty, just lazy and thinks she's right about everything and knows best and a carefree attitude but not in a good way. I'm sure I was like that. . Probably still am. Ha ha. She does suffer from small boughts of depression which for me is hard, I admit I don't understand it whatsoever as I've never been involved with it, but I am trying and she had only been on tablets once for a few months so it can be controlled. I had little financial support too, and was a single parent, my choice. I can't help thinking that this may have an impact on her and the fact when she was younger she spent years of weeks with my family when I travelled as my time was very limited. I have guilt issues with this part but I had to work to live and to be funded off the state with finance and housing was never going to be an option for me. I'm too greedy. I like hard work, money and all the benefits of it.... she was great up until 16!

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[Elaine Armani]

I know he is fine as I know where he is. I have kept in contact. My son has been very spoilt all his life I think this May be part of the problem. He has a lot more than a lot of kids I know & I have stopped giving him money but he just sells his x box games & stuff. I have allowed him to have girlfriends stay over, come & go as he pleases ect all I'm asking is for respect & for him to get out of bed in the day & motivate himself. That shouldn't even be a rule he should do it anyway. He talks to me like I'm dirt. Swears at me & just has no respect. Hopefully he will see his errors & buck up his ideas but I have 4 other children at home who are seeing his behaviour & are starting to follow suit . I am not going to allow him to drag my other children down I have to draw the line somewhere. Sleeps all day & is up all night smoking this isn't the life I want for my kids.

I know exactly how you feel, my brother is 20 and all he does is sleep aswell, he goes out clubbing every weekend has no job and constantly takes money off me and my parents.
My dad forced him to work with him to give him a little taste to see what it really is like to earn money he went for about a week and gave up. We were really spoilt when we grew up aswell but I was the different sibling and started working at 15, I'm building my business really slowly. Boys go through this stage tougher than girls do. Your son will soon see what it's like being away from home and parents and hopefully he will get a wake up call.
This happens mainly because boys go through puberty after girls do and mature later.
What your doing is the right thing and it will soon fall into place so don't worry!
I'm sure you're a great parent & good luck again!
Xx

 

[AcidPerm]

Just wanted to offer support and say try not to worry too much.

I'm truly proud of my stepson. He's a lovely bloke in his early thirties and has established a successful business and has his own place in London. His girlfriend is wonderful too and I like her parents enormously!

However, he was a total nightmare in his late teens and very early twenties and my OH and I were genuinely very concerned about his future.

You can't live their lives for them, you have to allow them to make their own mistakes and you need to be there to pick up the pieces...but, I honestly believe that the love and support you gave him in his early years will guide him to find his own way.

Hugs. Xx

 

[w1nnie]

Yes I think you are right in the respect that he is seeing his friends with jobs ect but he isn't even trying. He had a job interview a month ago for a toy shop & because he didn't get the job he says that he won't get any job. I told him to go back to college & learn a trade but he says he doesn't want to do anything.. I'm at my wits end

You could take the hard line with him. Tell him you will feed him if he pulls his weight. You will not cook for him if he doesn't try and get a job and help around the house.

Only you know how he ticks, so try and barter something with him.

 

[littlemissm]

Update - my son has returned with his tail between his legs. After spending the night at his girlfriends house & getting lectured by her & her mother & then getting turfed out when his girlfriend had to leave for college. He rang me asking to come home as he was cold. I said as long as he obeys the rules then yes. So we have had a talk & he says he will buck up his ideas & do as I ask. He knows the score that any more nonsense from him & he will be turfed out again. As the saying goes if they will not learn they must feel. Or something like that lol. Thank you all for your support & advise

 

[Elaine Armani]

Update - my son has returned with his tail between his legs. After spending the night at his girlfriends house & getting lectured by her & her mother & then getting turfed out when his girlfriend had to leave for college. He rang me asking to come home as he was cold. I said as long as he obeys the rules then yes. So we have had a talk & he says he will buck up his ideas & do as I ask. He knows the score that any more nonsense from him & he will be turfed out again. As the saying goes if they will not learn they must feel. Or something like that lol. Thank you all for your support & advise

Yaya!!
I knew he would come back!
He just need a reality check. All the best xx

 

[gillian w]

That's good.Lets hope he has turned a corner.

 

[Steph86]

Woo hoo... Knew he wouldnt last long 😊 hopefully its the wake up call he needed xx