Sorry people, need to moan about divorce.

[Ditzy]

Sorry to lay this on you all, but I need to vent some frustration.

My ex moved out in 2005, I started divorce proceedings in March 2006. He dragged his heels until I eventually got him to mediation in June this year.

I had the second meeting beginning of July. I just got the notes of the meeting from the mediator. In it she states that he is under financial pressure but continues to support the children and indirectly me. HE HAS NOT PAID A PENNY TOWARDS SUPPORTING ME AT ANY TIME IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM SINCE THE DAY HE LEFT.

He pays child support, nothing else. He is going to end up with a larger lump sum when the house is sold than he would have if the house had been sold when we split up, due to price increases. The difference will probably be higher than his total child maintenance payments in the whole time that he will have paid it for. I have paid the full mortgage from the day he left home.

At NO TIME in the meeting was it mentioned that he was supporting me, I would certainly have jumped on that statement! But I receive this letter, and as I am at work, in a job I really hate (about to do some retraining to get back into the industry, I'm an office bod at the mo) just to pay the mortgage and keep my kids in the area they want to live, I get home after the mediation office has closed, so I can't even call them to ask what they're playing at.

So I'm at home now, my mood's totally changed, I'm close to tears, and can't even get in touch with them to ask why they put this.:cry: Obviously, he will have received the same letter, and is at this moment, laughing his little head off at me.

As I said, sorry to lay it on you, just had to vent some frustration.

 

[jac extreme]

Sorry to hear of your problems, I would get in contact with your solictor in the morning and see what they reccomend and also the mediator. Hope you get things sorted soon:hug:

 

[weezie]

I wish I could offer some advise but instead I am sending you love and hugs :hug:

 

[adelekeegan1]

Sorry to lay this on you all, but I need to vent some frustration.

My ex moved out in 2005, I started divorce proceedings in March 2006. He dragged his heels until I eventually got him to mediation in June this year.

I had the second meeting beginning of July. I just got the notes of the meeting from the mediator. In it she states that he is under financial pressure but continues to support the children and indirectly me. HE HAS NOT PAID A PENNY TOWARDS SUPPORTING ME AT ANY TIME IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM SINCE THE DAY HE LEFT.

He pays child support, nothing else. He is going to end up with a larger lump sum when the house is sold than he would have if the house had been sold when we split up, due to price increases. The difference will probably be higher than his total child maintenance payments in the whole time that he will have paid it for. I have paid the full mortgage from the day he left home.

At NO TIME in the meeting was it mentioned that he was supporting me, I would certainly have jumped on that statement! But I receive this letter, and as I am at work, in a job I really hate (about to do some retraining to get back into the industry, I'm an office bod at the mo) just to pay the mortgage and keep my kids in the area they want to live, I get home after the mediation office has closed, so I can't even call them to ask what they're playing at.

So I'm at home now, my mood's totally changed, I'm close to tears, and can't even get in touch with them to ask why they put this.:cry: Obviously, he will have received the same letter, and is at this moment, laughing his little head off at me.

As I said, sorry to lay it on you, just had to vent some frustration.

This is not right, if you have paid all the mortgage this should be taken into account.
As Jac said you need to talk yo your solicitor PRONTO:hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

Do a letter saying something like...........

Dear Ms Mediation Officer, (name)

Thank you for your letter dated with reference to out meeting on (date).

There appears to be several errors in your letter and mention of a matter that was not discussed during our meeting. Namely:-

1. At no time during the meeting was it metioned that my my my estranged husband (name) supports me financially. Had it have been, I would have pointed out that is untrue.
2. ......................
3.........................

(Number all the points you've mentioned but make them as bullet points and keep them brief as I've just shown.

I look forward to receiving your reply.

Yours sincerely,


Mrs X

 

[JackieMc]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I was just wondering though, are you having to sell the house? Because most often the judges find in favour of the wife, especially if there are children involved and the house is quite often signed over to her, whether or not the husband has anywhere else to stay. You should most definately let it be known that he hasn't contributed to any mortgage payments since he left, especially if you are planning on selling the house, but if you can afford to keep up the repayments, why not think about keeping hold of it and see if the judge awards it to you in court? Just an idea.

I hope you get things sorted, it's a horrible position to be in.

Jackie
x

 

[Ditzy]

Hi all thanks so much for your replies and support.

I will probably use your letter, Brow Queen, I wrote one last night, but it was rather more, should I say, emotional than yours!

JackieMc, the children are teenagers and only have another max 4 years in education including 6th form, so apparently I'm lucky with the 60/40 split in my favour. The house only has to be sold when the children leave full time education, and the proceeds split at that time. Apparently, the thing of the wife getting the house is becoming rare, especially when the children are the ages of mine. Also, if I went to court, it'd cost thousands to still probably come out with the same 60/40 split. Mortgage payments will be taken into account and his half of the payments will be deducted from his share.

I shall certainly be talking to my solicitor today! I've calmed down a bit, but I'm still very frustrated.