Stag night and strippers?

[mimmimus]

I would never let my husband go to a strip bar, it would send me on a downward spiral. All I'd be thinking is "did he?" and "what if?" If something doesn't agree with you and upsets you then surely he would leave it and do something else instead?

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Yes but I would feel terrible not letting him go. I know what you are saying... I only found out today and we had a disagreement and he went to bed so have to wait until tomo to talk about it again... I dont want to control what and where he goes, he has full trust in me and would never tell me I cant go, so this is why I feel very badly about taking it away from him.

 

[Cherry Darling]

How would he like it if you had a naked man rubbing himself all over you, and you got turned on by it? My husband would hit the roof.

xXx
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[coco.]

I'd say most women feel the same about it
I don't know anybody that would say 'here you go love here's £100 go and have yourself a couple of lap dances as a treat'

 

[laurat]

Where abouts in Australia are you ? :o)

 

[mimmimus]

well i cant believe how much friction this thing has caused between us, .. he said he feels I dont trust him when I have a problem with something like this. Which I do! he said he doesnt understand what the problem is then as its what always happens and its no big deal etc! he said usually the groom gets a dance and thats it, its a laugh... Howevebr im trying my hardest to "accept" it

anyway, I am in brisbane laurat, where are you?

 

[Kat91]

Personally I would not be okay with this either. It's not a trust thing, I just find it disrespectful to me. Luckily my husband feels the same and respects my feelings, he didn't go to a strip club before we got married and I'm glad for it.

It's a pointless and in my opinion, disrespectful tradition.

 

[mimmimus]

he says that when we get married he doesnt even want a stag night, let alone a stripper but he doesnt understand what the issue is when its one of his best friends stag night (he is grooms man) and he cant say he is not attending. He says its common practice to have a stripper who embarresses the groom. He doesnt see what the issue is and says he would have no problems or issues if it were me in his shoes. I am kinda starting to adjust to the idea and hopefully I will be okay by the time this is all over with. I dont understand why ypou have to have this pointless act but im not the one who decides...

 

[Biljana]

Marriage is all about compromise, is it not? You don't feel right about him going to a stag with strippers and he needs to respect that.
We all have our own ways of living and what works for us. I cannot understand that a person can respect someone and still go ahead and do something the other party is not happy about.
Are you spending your life with your buddies? Are they going to be there for you in every shape/way/form? I really wish more people thought about priorities and what comes first?
I am not a prude whatsoever lol but hubby has declined to go where strippers have been involved even when I said I was okay with that. He has no problem going out for drinks as they usually would do, so why have strippers at your stag if that isn't a usual outing for the boys?
Maybe some men would do the world a favour by stopping the objectification of women. His words btw, not mine.
Man knows a thing or two about respect,


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[KHS]

I wouldn't worry about it. It's a Stag Doo, a one off, I'd kick up a stink if it was every month, he can't run off with any of them. The girls are there for one reason - money!

As harsh as it seems, worrying about it won't change anything, if they are going to get dancers they will, worrying won't stop it I'm afraid, all it will do is screw your head up for 3 days. You give him a hard time when he gets back (and before he goes) it will cause friction, arguments and bad feelings ETC.

Just keep busy, relish the "you" time.


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[Nikki May]

I wouldn't worry about it. It's a Stag Doo, a one off, I'd kick up a stink if it was every month, he can't run off with any of them. The girls are there for one reason - money!

As harsh as it seems, worrying about it won't change anything, if they are going to get dancers they will, worrying won't stop it I'm afraid, all it will do is screw your head up for 3 days. You give him a hard time when he gets back (and before he goes) it will cause friction, arguments and bad feelings ETC.

Just keep busy, relish the "you" time.


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I always worry if I start telling OH what he can and can't do then he will just resort to lying and doing it anyway. I want an open honest relationship where we can laugh and talk about how uncomfortable and awkward he felt at the strip club.

 

[Nikki May]

Not sure why I quoted you there KHS

 

[mimmimus]

I always worry if I start telling OH what he can and can't do then he will just resort to lying and doing it anyway. I want an open honest relationship where we can laugh and talk about how uncomfortable and awkward he felt at the strip club.

I havent actually told him he cant go.. today he said fine, wont go then if its going to mean him walking on eggshells for the next 4 months.. lol.. I dont want that either, so I said I will somehow work on it and try to get to terms with it. He really doesnt understand, he says he doesnt like strippers, he doesnt WANT them and that the only one he wants is me and he doesnt understand, he says its a tradition and a laugh. That at his brothers stag do his whole family were there watching his brother get a dance from a fat stripper (you can get them too) but i dont see that as the same as its not a sexual thing more like a fun thing having a really fat stripper... anyway.. not looking forward to it but I dont want to "forbid" it... he says i should try to look at the bigger picture and have more perspective on things, that this is a minor meaningless thing. so, Im trying and feel little bit better

 

[PinkSwoon]

Mimmimus, what your OH has said sounds ok, I'd worry less about it to be honest but just make sure he knows what's what & by the sounds of it I don't think much is going to happen unless he's downplaying it

 

[LilCheekyMonkey]

There really is nothing more going on in strip clubs now a days. My partner used to be a bouncer for a few strip clubs and his sister is a stripper. I really wouldn't worry. The lap dances aren't that great anyway! Though that could just be our local ones lol. Why not plan to do something with friends or family while he's away, it might take your mind off things x

 

[mimmimus]

Id be less bothered with a strip club, here they hire a stripper/strippers to whatever venue they are at. I have heard that the groom gets a dance and has to eat marshmellows from her groin and other nice stuff.. I dont see its any different from cheating. Obviously my OH is not the groom here but I find it deeply disturbing and just disrespectful. Things are going well for us right now as I have decided not to go on about it until I know what the go actually is as at the moment he doesnt even know as he is not organising it, but there is always a stripper/strippers so.... I dont know how I will be when the time comes around. I know he would never do anything but I am still really uncomfortable with the whole thing. I dont know anyone here as I am new to australia so cant really do much but be on my own those three days which will SUCKKKKKKKK

 

[xxJackiexx]

My opinion won't be popular but hey il say it any way . If a man feels the need to pay a stranger to strip for him and have her shake her bits in his face he's no business getting married . Disrespectful . Strippers and lap-dancers I have no problem with if the person paying them is single . I find it very odd that people in committed relationships would even want to visit such places ?

 

[kimi1101]

My bf used to go with his pals for birthdays etc. I think he's maybe been once since we've been together. My biggest issue with it is the money they spend on it! They can come home £100 worse off. Last time they went, my boyfriend and a couple others went to the pub up the road instead.

I suppose it's about compromise. If it's not his stag, and the stripper is to embarrass the groom, chances are your man won't even really be involved.

I find it quite sleazy of men going to things like this. Just my opinion.

 

[Ali_d2003]

I honestly dont See anything wrong with it, saying that i would be worried if my boyfriend was going on a stag id b afraid he'd cheat, but thats my own insecurity, i have no problem with strippers we hired ond for my friend for her birthday and it was just a bit of fun

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[mimmimus]

I think it is totally disgusting and disrespectful like I have mentioned before. MY OH has not ever been to a strip club or such while we have been together, this is the first time because of this stag do that he is grooms man in. He says he has to go but if it means me not being able to cope and him having to walk on eggshells for 4 months he wont, I dont want that either, I dont want to tell him what to do. I know he would not do anything, he would never cheat on me etc! I just do not even like him participating in anything like this, let alone look at someone elses groin, yukk! Honestly this bothers me a lot but it is 8 weeks away and I am trying not to torture myself by worrying about it constantly. Closer to the time I will want to have details of what exactly the go is as he doesnt know at the moment as he is not organising the event. I am trying to not walk around being peed off all the time lol. I know some women arent bothered by this I honestly wish I could be like that!

 

[Jen889]

I think it is totally disgusting and disrespectful like I have mentioned before. MY OH has not ever been to a strip club or such while we have been together, this is the first time because of this stag do that he is grooms man in. He says he has to go but if it means me not being able to cope and him having to walk on eggshells for 4 months he wont, I dont want that either, I dont want to tell him what to do. I know he would not do anything, he would never cheat on me etc! I just do not even like him participating in anything like this, let alone look at someone elses groin, yukk! Honestly this bothers me a lot but it is 8 weeks away and I am trying not to torture myself by worrying about it constantly. Closer to the time I will want to have details of what exactly the go is as he doesnt know at the moment as he is not organising the event. I am trying to not walk around being peed off all the time lol. I know some women arent bothered by this I honestly wish I could be like that!

I know it might not help as I have zero problem with my oh going to see strippers. I have a few friends who are strippers so I get it. My oh has only been once and he doesn't really enjoy it but it was for a stag so no choice lol

I was like you when he first told me. I wasn't happy with a woman shaking her junk in his face BUT then my mom gave me some advice and I thought it made a ton of sense. He's your partner, He's in you bed every night, he loves and respects you so why let the thought of another woman's body up in his face bother you. It won't change how he feels about you, he's still going to come back to you, love you, respect you and sleep in your bed. Let him go have fun because ultimately he's yours and no stripper is going to change his mind which is true