Troubled client

[cro-mari]

All of this is much more pain to her than me, but still would appreciate to hear your advices and experiences.

For a year now, she comes every 2 weeks, LP rebalances and sometimes pedicures.
You know how clients talk about themselves and stuff... She would often start crying, and I had to stop the service, and try to calm her down... you gotta say something, right! At first, I thought she was just unhappy. But then I saw her behaviour is - how should I say - inconsistant with what was really happening - it goes from lowest depression up to hectic happines and laughing, totaly extreme!

I tried to help somehow, but that went even worse. At first, she was so happy and gratefull, but she started emailing me and calling just so say personal things, even coming by or wanted to stay long after the treatment. Once, after her hands are shaking and her crying because 'the boyfriend said something', I tried to say something, and she started yelling - You are blaming me too! Everyone hate me! I should die! - and things like that.

After the treatment, I said - my dear child, do you yell at your hairdresser? Your tailor? We are not your family and your friends, we can be nice and friendly, but we are not your punching balls. So get a grip, or get a new nail tech.

And that went well for a few appointements.

But yesterday she came again with her nails ripped off. And she does that too often. With thumb and index finger free edge she picks up and underneath the corners of the rest of the nails, she rips the sidewalls of her natural nails and lifts enhancements. She has purple 'pick rings' all over. She even rips out her big toes, and when I put tip&overlay, she ripped that too!

My two week rebalance clients have free repairs. But it turns out that I have to do at least 5 new nails every time, because she ripped them out. Yesterday, I had to do a full set. I said - repairs are for free, but you ruin everything, and if you do it again, I'll charge you full set. And here we go again, she starts shaking and crying and ..... argh! I finnished, charged only rebalance (my fault), did not rebook even though she asked, and was happy to see her gone.

What am I to do with her? If I charge (which I really should), she sits there, sheds tears and says, you hate me too. Still, I think she should see someone, I don't know... she seems very troubled, but I can't work in such conditions.


Sorry for being long and thank you.

 

[Bagpuss]

I would definitely be charging her...infact i would be charging for all repairs for all clients.

Its sad that she is troubled but it sounds like her problems are far to complex and she has drawn you in...we ain't counsellors or doctors....truth is... you cant help her....and its not your job or duty to try.

All you can do is suggest she maybe talk to friends and family (taking yourself out of the equation) keep chat basic and about non personal things...weather...ect...

If she rings just for chats you have to tell her you are busy working but look forward to seeing her at her next appointment.

Its all to close and you have to step back.

 

[mollylolly]

It sound to me as if this lady has serious Mental Heath issues. The way you have descibed her sound to me as if she is Bi-Polor (I think that's how it's spelt). Is she on medication?

I would make a point of maybe saying that 2 nails will be replace FOC but for eaby other replace nails there will be a charge obn top of the Infill charge, as it would seem that she maybe pulls the nails off when she is experiencing a low moment.

It's very sad really, as she obviously can't help these mood swings. But also a credit to you that she feels comfortable enough with you to tell you her troubles.

I would however, try to distance myself with her, as if she is suffering with Mental Health issues, then you don't want to be involved and over time she could become a nusience if she feels that you are a personal friend to her.

Sally x

 

[cro-mari]

Yeah, I thought of bipolar too. I've seen that before, and I know she's suffering and can't help it herself, but also I know people who are on therapy and functioning just fine.

I know I can't help her, but she keeps dragging me and it has gotten nowhere, except stopping the service and having high tensions.

I can't say, girl, get some help, you're not yourself, how can I say that??! I don't want to hurt her. And who wants to say/hear words like that?!

Maybe I'm just looking for a way out of this, but don't know how. I can't work like that, it's only getting worse.

Thank you for your words.

 

[mollylolly]

Hiya Cro-Marie,

Perhaps the best thing you can do is to be "fully booked" if she rings for an appointment. I know it shounds harsh, but is the cost of the service worth the stress and upset that it's putting you through, plus the extra time your spending in calming her down and replacing nails, or maybe you could just explain to her if she re-books that you have changed your policy and are now having to charge for all replacement nails. If she doesn't like it then she won't come back.

It's a very difficult issue to deal with.

Sally X

 

[cro-mari]

I think it will have to go that way, only I have to figure how to do it as pain-free as I can, for both of us...

Everyone's freedom can spread around just up to someone else's nose, and my nose got enough.

Thanks again.

 

[fifitrix]

I really feel for you and her. It is difficult when clients "attach" themselves to us as they tell us so much of their private lives but when it starts to affect you then, something has to be done.

I know it will be difficult, especially as her state of mind is the way it is at the moment, if she trusts you, and I am sure she does, could you gently suggest medical help. :hug:


Just to add, could you say that you know someone who had the same thing and got help, often that will spur someone on to get help when they know that someone else has the same thing but has gotten help for it. It is a difficult one.

 

[Lemmonie]

Bi Polar rang immeaditely (I am no doctor!)

What about explaining a need for a price rise due to the repairs and simply add another half hour or so to each appt with her. That way if she is experiancing a deep low or manic period there is time for her to deal with it without leaving you feel rushed and stressed.

Obviously you have to ask yourself wether you can continue servicing her. If you cant then explain as gently as you can.