jac extreme
Well-Known Member
so if they are 3 you think they should stay on the step for over an hour !!!
Advice about my 21 month old!
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*JOANNE*
Well-Known Member
at 3 75 minutes will seem months a bit extreme
jac extreme
Well-Known Member
no maybe not rocket science, but it is tantamount to child abuse in my opinion:irked: how ridiculous!!
ValencianNails
Positivity rules!
You're trying to tell me that if you 'punish' your child by putting them on the naughty step for 75 minutes they'll never be naughty again? get real!
That could be considered to be abuse rather than trying to teach them the boundaries.
One minute per year of their life... it works for SuperNanny and it's worked for many parents.
Supernanny :: Advice :: The Naughty Step
Sassy Hassy
Well-Known Member
Lol, well in that case my girls would still be on that naughty step at the ages of 18 and 21 :lol: ! I'm sorry but I'm of the old school, a short tap (that's a tap not a smack or a slap) on the hand reinforced with NO worked a treat for my two. Over and done with in seconds, works immediately and no repeat offenders, and they learned VERY quickly that NO meant NO whatever the circumstances and so very quicly the tap went and the word NO did the trick - no naughty steps, good behaviour charts or solitary confinement for hours on end. I am proud to say they have to be the most rounded, caring adults I know of their age ... but then I'm biased (there's a pic of them in my profile!).
*JOANNE*
Well-Known Member
ditto sass, a 3 year old after 75 minutes wont have the foggiest clue why she was put on the naughty step in the first place
blossom
Well-Known Member
I took this to be a joke at first! Reading on I see it was meant to be a serious comment!
Ludicrous!!! :irked: :irked: :irked:
blossom
Well-Known Member
This book is fantastic, I kept borrowing it from the library when mine were little and bought my own copy in the end! It makes you laugh too. This guy talks a hell of a lot of sense.
CadenceAlex
Well-Known Member
Thanks for all the advice, I was having a stressed day
Cadence is no more naughtier than most... just enjoying playing with things that she can't have... like anyone really!
We took her to the Zoo yesterday to meet Vicki (Fingertips ND) and she had fun picking up someone's chips they had thrown on the floor... ewwww... I wouldn't mind but her own chips were sat on the table.. but she didn't want them!!! Her dad picked her up and carried her to the bin
Auntsally, do you seriously believe you should put her on a naughty step for 25 minutes? She is only a baby.... she wouldn't understand the concept yet.. and I don't believe she is being 'naughty' as such....
It sounds like you've had a hard time with your children, so I can understand you tarring them with the same brush I suppose... but leaving a baby sat alone for that length of time is cruelty.
Cadence is no more naughtier than most... just enjoying playing with things that she can't have... like anyone really!
We took her to the Zoo yesterday to meet Vicki (Fingertips ND) and she had fun picking up someone's chips they had thrown on the floor... ewwww... I wouldn't mind but her own chips were sat on the table.. but she didn't want them!!! Her dad picked her up and carried her to the bin
Auntsally, do you seriously believe you should put her on a naughty step for 25 minutes? She is only a baby.... she wouldn't understand the concept yet.. and I don't believe she is being 'naughty' as such....
It sounds like you've had a hard time with your children, so I can understand you tarring them with the same brush I suppose... but leaving a baby sat alone for that length of time is cruelty.
Totally agree! :irked:
Snugglepuss
Well-Known Member
I am totally appalled at this attitude/oppinion and have to disagree with it!
When I completed my positive parenting training - to help ladies who had mental health issues - We were told to promote quite the oposite of what you are saying! For children who were pushing boundaries whether they were 2 or 12, they should be treated positively and made to understand what they were doing was wrong - and yes this did include the naughty step/corner but for 1 min per year - just enough time to reflect on how they could do things in a different way!
At 21 months old like others have said, they are establishing and testing boundaries. At this age it is one of the fastest learning stages they will go through - think about it they have learnt to walk, starting to talk, nappy training, eating grown up foods, recognising objects and more - all this going through my brain I'd want to have a tantrum as well!!
As a parent, we have to show them in a way how that their action is not acceptable - not put them on the naughty step for 50 mins! 2 mins I can assure you is quite enough!
Putting a child on the naughty step for more than 1 min per year will cause resentment towards the parent and knock the child's confidence and self esteem! This, I can assure you will do more damage than allowing them to have experience of pushing boundaries and it being handled in a positive way.
I have 5 children and all of them are different - some pushing boundaries more than their siblings! They have to be treated according to their demeanour not subjected to something akin to abuse!
Right better get off my soapbox!
dee
supernatural geek
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why not have done and lock em under the stairs !! , i dont know any 2 yr old that could sit still for 50 mins?? not unless they are asleep, lol ,
example my 1 yr old was up all last night , she wont settle in her cot , she is a total pain , but .. i still got up with her and fed her , made her feel safe and warm etc... i didnt just lock the door on her and think oh she will sort herself out !!
sorry but i aint a perfect parent by no means , i shout and get annoyed etc.. but what you are suggesting is plain cruel , sorry
Well I must say i found a lot of the comments interesting over coffee this morning but then to my absolute horror and disgust I found that SassyHassy has gone beyond the line and admits to hitting her children.
Young children learn most of their social behaviour from the adults around them. Its true a quick smack may stop a child momentarily but it is disrespectful, gives a lesson in bad behaviour and does nothing to teach a child about other ways of behaving. Children who are physically punished
learn that hitting is an acceptable way to solve conflict and are
more likely to hit other children. The more a child is hit, the more
likely it is that the child may grow up to be an adult who deals with
others, not with reason and good example, but with force.
Positive, non-violent discipline works through enhancing the relationship between parents and children, is always respectful, focuses on acceptable behaviour and encourages it.
Human rights protection does not stop short at the door of the family home. Hitting children is wrong, just as it is unacceptable for adult family members to hit each other. Children are not parents possessions, but are recognised as individuals who are entitled to the protection of human rights standards just like everyone else. The welfare and protection of children is the responsibility of society as a whole.
It is important for children to have safe limits appropriate to their age but this should not involve physical punishment. The term discipline is too often misunderstood to mean punishment - but it comes from the same Latin root discere as discipleship, meaning literally to learn. Punishment means to cause to undergo pain. The philosophy that supports punishment regards blind obedience as a virtue. Positive, non-violent discipline is designed to foster self-discipline, reduce parental stress and improve relationships between children and the adults who care for them.
People usually hit children because they were hit themselves (SassyHassy?) and it is pointless to judge a previous generation of parents who were acting in accordance with the general culture of the time.
But times have changed, we are aware of the danger and ineffectiveness of physical punishment and we need to move on. However controlled she/he is, a full-sized adult who hits a much smaller child risks causing harm. Physical punishment is ineffective as it does not tell children what they have done
wrong or what they should do instead. Children are usually too overwhelmed with hurt or anger to listen to explanations. But even if it worked, hitting children would still be wrong.
So I would rather find a strict means to discipline a child, with a debate raging over 'how many minutes', than to hit a child. A 'tap' is an unmeasurable amount of force, applied by the so-called 'reasonable opinion' of the parent and is a weak excuse for child abuse. A 'tap' is in fact a 'hit'.
Young children learn most of their social behaviour from the adults around them. Its true a quick smack may stop a child momentarily but it is disrespectful, gives a lesson in bad behaviour and does nothing to teach a child about other ways of behaving. Children who are physically punished
learn that hitting is an acceptable way to solve conflict and are
more likely to hit other children. The more a child is hit, the more
likely it is that the child may grow up to be an adult who deals with
others, not with reason and good example, but with force.
Positive, non-violent discipline works through enhancing the relationship between parents and children, is always respectful, focuses on acceptable behaviour and encourages it.
Human rights protection does not stop short at the door of the family home. Hitting children is wrong, just as it is unacceptable for adult family members to hit each other. Children are not parents possessions, but are recognised as individuals who are entitled to the protection of human rights standards just like everyone else. The welfare and protection of children is the responsibility of society as a whole.
It is important for children to have safe limits appropriate to their age but this should not involve physical punishment. The term discipline is too often misunderstood to mean punishment - but it comes from the same Latin root discere as discipleship, meaning literally to learn. Punishment means to cause to undergo pain. The philosophy that supports punishment regards blind obedience as a virtue. Positive, non-violent discipline is designed to foster self-discipline, reduce parental stress and improve relationships between children and the adults who care for them.
People usually hit children because they were hit themselves (SassyHassy?) and it is pointless to judge a previous generation of parents who were acting in accordance with the general culture of the time.
But times have changed, we are aware of the danger and ineffectiveness of physical punishment and we need to move on. However controlled she/he is, a full-sized adult who hits a much smaller child risks causing harm. Physical punishment is ineffective as it does not tell children what they have done
wrong or what they should do instead. Children are usually too overwhelmed with hurt or anger to listen to explanations. But even if it worked, hitting children would still be wrong.
So I would rather find a strict means to discipline a child, with a debate raging over 'how many minutes', than to hit a child. A 'tap' is an unmeasurable amount of force, applied by the so-called 'reasonable opinion' of the parent and is a weak excuse for child abuse. A 'tap' is in fact a 'hit'.
Fingertips ND
Brand New Mummy Geek
'TAP' not 'HIT'.
IMO i'd rather be tapped than sat on a step for hours on end.
Get a grip!!!
IMO i'd rather be tapped than sat on a step for hours on end.
Get a grip!!!
Snugglepuss
Well-Known Member
AuntSally - you have made some interesting points in your last post some I agree with and some I don't BUT what I can tell you is that I had a childhood from HELL - every type of abuse possible from my mother and father but do you know what - it wasn't the physical abuse etc that screwed me up IT WAS THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE! Locked under the floor boards because I was a bad girl and had to think about what I had done? what had I done - knocked over a drink! Locked out of the house because I was 5 mins late - but had to sit on the doorstep until 1.30 in the morning before I was let in!
I would have much prefered to have had a "tap" than the emotional **** I was put through!
Not allowed to cry and smacked and sent to bed if I did - even if I had cut my knee open! did I remember the smack - yes but not as much as the fact I wasn't given a hug and made to feel better!
I would have much prefered to have had a "tap" than the emotional **** I was put through!
Not allowed to cry and smacked and sent to bed if I did - even if I had cut my knee open! did I remember the smack - yes but not as much as the fact I wasn't given a hug and made to feel better!
CadenceAlex
Well-Known Member
Sassy Hassy
Well-Known Member
Oh yeah I forgot to say that my girls have ASBO's against them. Oh and are we speaking to Mrs Auntsally here or Mr. Only I remember the last time MR AUNTSALLY wound us all up.
I didn't hit my children I gave them a tap on the wrist with a finger. To me deprevation of all stimuli on a naughty step is tantamount to solitary confinement and is far worse. BTW I'll tell you how the trial of my girls go ... I just hope they don't go down for murder!!!!!
Hell hang me now and be done with it! I'm a bad mother and a poor example to the human race ... oh dear! Now where did I put that leather belt?
I didn't hit my children I gave them a tap on the wrist with a finger. To me deprevation of all stimuli on a naughty step is tantamount to solitary confinement and is far worse. BTW I'll tell you how the trial of my girls go ... I just hope they don't go down for murder!!!!!
Hell hang me now and be done with it! I'm a bad mother and a poor example to the human race ... oh dear! Now where did I put that leather belt?
julia_james
Well-Known Member
oh please you cannot slate sassy for tapping her kids when you are admitting that you would psycologically torture a child
so if a 10 year old miss behaves you are saying that he should sit on a naughty step for 4 hours? get real thats child abuse,
it is 1 min per year of child as they have to know why they are there and have the chance to apologise
by any chance did you do the 25mins per year on your kids?
so if a 10 year old miss behaves you are saying that he should sit on a naughty step for 4 hours? get real thats child abuse,
it is 1 min per year of child as they have to know why they are there and have the chance to apologise
by any chance did you do the 25mins per year on your kids?
Snugglepuss
Well-Known Member
Couldn't have put it better myself!
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