Well I must say i found a lot of the comments interesting over coffee this morning but then to my absolute horror and disgust I found that SassyHassy has gone beyond the line and admits to hitting her children.
Young children learn most of their social behaviour from the adults around them. Its true a quick smack may stop a child momentarily but it is disrespectful, gives a lesson in bad behaviour and does nothing to teach a child about other ways of behaving. Children who are physically punished
learn that hitting is an acceptable way to solve conflict and are
more likely to hit other children. The more a child is hit, the more
likely it is that the child may grow up to be an adult who deals with
others, not with reason and good example, but with force.
Positive, non-violent discipline works through enhancing the relationship between parents and children, is always respectful, focuses on acceptable behaviour and encourages it.
Human rights protection does not stop short at the door of the family home. Hitting children is wrong, just as it is unacceptable for adult family members to hit each other. Children are not parents possessions, but are recognised as individuals who are entitled to the protection of human rights standards just like everyone else. The welfare and protection of children is the responsibility of society as a whole.
It is important for children to have safe limits appropriate to their age but this should not involve physical punishment. The term discipline is too often misunderstood to mean punishment - but it comes from the same Latin root discere as discipleship, meaning literally to learn. Punishment means to cause to undergo pain. The philosophy that supports punishment regards blind obedience as a virtue. Positive, non-violent discipline is designed to foster self-discipline, reduce parental stress and improve relationships between children and the adults who care for them.
People usually hit children because they were hit themselves (SassyHassy?) and it is pointless to judge a previous generation of parents who were acting in accordance with the general culture of the time.
But times have changed, we are aware of the danger and ineffectiveness of physical punishment and we need to move on. However controlled she/he is, a full-sized adult who hits a much smaller child risks causing harm. Physical punishment is ineffective as it does not tell children what they have done
wrong or what they should do instead. Children are usually too overwhelmed with hurt or anger to listen to explanations. But even if it worked, hitting children would still be wrong.
So I would rather find a strict means to discipline a child, with a debate raging over 'how many minutes', than to hit a child. A 'tap' is an unmeasurable amount of force, applied by the so-called 'reasonable opinion' of the parent and is a weak excuse for child abuse. A 'tap' is in fact a 'hit'.